Episodes

The Sun Never Sets on the Salty Hoe Empire (Jet Lag, Whales & In-Flight Chaos)Mel and Claire reunite in the same city (now fully wired to fix audio issues) and record a catch-up episode after being scattered across hotels and Airbnbs worldwide, joking that “the sun never sets on the Salty Hoe empire.” Mel returns from a month-long trip to Australia, Fiji, and New Zealand, including a Neptune Divers resort buyout in Fiji and a Great Barrier Reef live aboard that successfully found dwarf minke wha...

Does the Plumbing Still Work? Women’s Health, Being Ignored, and a Late ADHD Glow-UpClaire hosts a solo Salty Hoes episode while Mel is still on vacation, apologizes for prior audio issues, and tees up a return to the duo format next week. Sparked by a Love Island comment doubting whether a 52-year-old woman’s plumbing still "works that way," and a scene from The Pitt about misdiagnosing a woman’s heart attack due to misplaced EKG leads, she discusses how women’s symptoms are minimized or misatt...

Claire and Mel reunite virtually from opposite sides of the world, comparing dating-app scenes in Ireland, Australia, America, and Italy (beards help, fish pics persist, and follow-through is rare), and swapping travel/food notes, including long Sydney dinners and barramundi. They pivot to a deep dive on mansplaining, sparked by Mel’s 11-hour Australian bus tour where a confident male guide delivered extensive, factually incorrect lectures on evolution, climate, indigenous health, cancer, and ev...

The Ultimate Love Island: Survival Skills (Patriarchy Edition)Claire hosts solo while Mel is away, recording late due to travel and jet lag after trips to Kraków, Belfast, Galway, and the Aran Islands (Inishmaan). Reflecting on a decade of solo travel, she connects the isolation and “coupling” premise of Love Island to patriarchal relationship dynamics through the 1890s eco-feminist novel Gránia: The Story of an Island, which critiques marriage as a transaction, women’s exploited labor, and wom...

Join Mel as she dives into her Tinder likes queue and looks through the many exciting local profiles! From ethical non-monogamy to weird kinks, there is something here for everyone!

The Salty Hoes connected from across the sea to bring you this episode! Claire and Mel talk about Claire's European adventure and reminisce about divorce, child support, and how to interact with your recently divorced friends. Enjoy?

https://ritualhotyoga.com/saltlakecity/ https://www.fullcircleut.com/ https://mosaicyoga.squarespace.com/ Feral Friday Hot Yoga Mel and Claire (The Salty Hoes) recap a busy, social week, including a Pride party, Claire's lack of dates since “Short Stick,” and Mel has a promising man... but he lives in Denver. The Salty hoes became the sweaty hoes when they took a Feral Friday class at Ritual Hot Yoga with the amazing owner, Emily. The episode uses yoga to discuss Mormonism’s historical suspi...

This week Mel and Claire come to the tough realization that they're clearly just too picky. Here is a whole buffet of amazing dating profiles to choose from. Follow along and let us know which of these eminently date-able men to pick!

Bro, Do You Even LooksMaxx?Mel and Claire (The Salty Hoes) return to their discussion about beauty standards, focusing on the resurgence of skinny culture reminiscent of 1990s “heroin chic,” the role of expensive GLP-1/GIP-1 drugs as both weight-loss tool and class flex, and how diet trends become moralized through “clean eating,” gluten-free virtue signaling bs, and protein obsession. They argue that health and pleasure get lost amid anxiety, shame, and late-stage capitalism marketing, and emph...

Receipts. Proof. Timeline. Screenshots: RH of Rhode Island S1E5 Reality RecapMel and Claire (“the Salty Hoes”) recap The Real Housewives of Rhode Island S1E5, “Receipts. Proof. Timeline. Screenshots." starting with the women recovering from the rail-drinking fight as Alicia, Joellen, and Liz debrief and Alicia half-regrets calling Rosie a “whore.” At Kelsey’s sugar daddy’s 16,000-square-foot house, she cuts influencer Ashley’s hair, mentions a breakup rumor, and complains Rosie didn’t post her w...

The Droopy Mic, getting off the David Bus, and the Male Laziness Epidemic.Mel and Claire (The Salty Hoes) riff on a droopy “flaccid” microphone, then trade bleakly funny dating-app stories: a man who unmatched after Mel shared an interesting shark story, and another who endlessly outsourced planning a simple drink date, prompting Mel to unmatch him after he complained she wasn’t making it easy. The conversation broadens into decision fatigue, “feminine energy” expectations, and weaponized incom...

Join Mel and Claire as they recap RHoRI season 1 episode 4. The Real Housewives of Rhode Island are still reeling from the disco party slash blowup. We join the ladies as they grudgingly film on a peasant beach rather than a posh private beach club and we learn about pizza chips. Pizza without the cheese? Rhode Island is certainly on the bleeding edge of culinary innovation! We also watch them try and juggle pedaling bikes on a railroad while mixing and guzzling cocktails. And of course, we have...

Stripper Juice Hangover Meets Angel Woo-Woo Night Claire and Mel (“The Salty Hoes”) record on a Saturday morning after Claire hosted Mel’s bubble dogs-themed birthday party featuring “Stripper Juice,” hot dogs, and desserts from Mel’s sister, though Claire forgot the caviar. They recap an outing to an “Angel Woo Woo” event with Jessi Draper from The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, a smug channeler/psychic, and Marciano, where attendees wore white while the Salty Hoes accidentally wore black, and ...

The Salty Hoes are back with another reality recap! Real Housewives of Rhode Island continues to be absolutely jaw-dropping television. This week, we meet Liz's special friend/alleged mobster Dino, Kelsey's other boyfriend Bill, and Alicia's totally not creepy doll collection. There are a lot of them! We also have a showdown at Gerry's disco-themed birthday party and learn that going down to the seawall is the best way to prove to everyone you're not having an affair. The Ocean State continues t...

The Salty Hoes reunite after Mel’s vacation to wish Mel a happy birthday. Mel recaps her birthday present to herself: a scuba trip with Neptune Divers to Chuuk Lagoon, Micronesia. What happens when two professors talk about a vacation? You get to hear all kinds of rambling about obscure World War II facts, how Americans and British frame history, inappropriate children's television shows, pirates, why more Americans don't have passports, and why you should give diving a try. Join the Salty Hoes...

Hot Men in the Wild vs. Unvaxxed Sperm Bitcoin Mel and Claire return as The Salty Hoes for a “Salty Bite” rant on online dating, with Claire declaring the apps “f@#king” awful and recommits to singlehood ... until they walk into their usual coffee shop and find a freakishly concentrated pack of wholesome, age-appropriate, mid-50s hot men, inspiring brief hope that meeting someone “in the wild” might still exist. They recap bailing on a speed-dating event due to jet lag and low expectations, th...

Dirty Soda, True Tea, and Brigham’s Bar: A Salty Dive into the Word of Wisdom. Mel and Claire (The Salty Hoes) catch up on a spa visit with Paulina at Spa Day, praising her Moonshine Versus Milk skincare line, then pivot to Mormon dietary rules inspired by “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives” and dirty soda culture. They unpack the Word of Wisdom’s origins (Joseph Smith’s 1833 revelation, later formalized in 1852) and note it wasn’t consistently enforced until the early 1900s, with temple recomme...

Men are just so logical, aren't they? They simply exist in all of their logical glory, above the fray of those pesky feminine emotions. Their stoicism and serene self-regulation is an example to us all. OR IS IT?

Are you a mom? Do you have a mom? If the answer to either question is yes, you'll want to tune in to this episode. Claire and Mel discuss birth stories, miscarriage, motherhood, grief, paranoia, raising children in and out of the Mormon church, and peeing. Join us for a funny, heartwarming, and occasionally explicit conversation about all things mom.

Episode Two of Real Housewives of Rhode Island (RHoRI) brings us plenty of exposition and character development. Also, many allegations of affairs! Who is and who isn't stepping out? We don't know but we are excited to find out! Also, we visit a winery where we discover that rosé is, in fact, a wine! We also tour the production facility and see the heroin vats, and the vineyards where they are growing poison ivy. Or possibly tomatoes.

Hey, are you mad as hell? Because we are. We are sick and tired of bro code, rape culture, ignorant men, and whataboutism. Join us to discuss some serious topics, including the recent uncovering of the online "rape academy". Not all men, but it's always men. TW: sexual assault, rape

Join Claire and Mel on a new adventure watching the Real Housewives of Rhode Island. Have you been Real Housewife-curious? This is your chance to get in on the ground floor with a whole new cast in a new location. This one is fire, y'all. We have a bunch of classy broads with an infinite amount of dirt on each other and relationships that are messy as hell. In this debut episode, we meet six new housewives including the self-proclaimed Queen of Weed, a former Miss Rhode Island who is also a kep...

Angry Men on Dating Apps: Tests, Entitlement, and Sudden Rage. Claire and Mel (the Salty Hoes) discuss the pervasive hostility they encounter from men on dating apps, aiming to understand it and also laugh at it. They are confident they will never run out of material. They recap recent dating updates: Mel’s long-texting “German” date was boring and ended with mutual silence; Claire ends contact with “Mr. Clydesdale,” suspecting he has a girlfriend; “Mr. 11” reappears intermittently and remains...

Do you love the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives? Do you love some or all of the ladies of MomTok? Then maybe, like us, you're not big fans of DadTok, who we wish would go away forever. Join us for the piping hot tea and hot takes on each member of DadTok with some bonus takes on the ladies. We talk about the recent allegations against Dakota and what's going on with Jordan, Zac, and the rest of the merry men. Find out why we stan Chase and Connor and could really do without all the rest. Bonus dri...