Feb. 20, 2026
Salty Bite: Body Shaming is So Hot Right Now
It's another Salty Bite from Mel and Claire to ease you into your weekend! The Salty Hoes dive into the magical world of the dating apps to bring you the weirdest, wildest, and most confusing profiles out there. This week: an orange square looks for a travel partner, a man waxes poetic about his personal hell, and Peter gives all dating women a public service announcement.
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Hey there, salty Hose.
Welcome back.
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This is Mel.
And I'm Claire.
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And we are the salty.
Hose.
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Up the gun.
Oh wow.
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Wow, a little premature.
Premature.
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It's never good when it's
premature, is it?
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I mean no, but I would I prefer
that to the never happening at
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all.
This is true because it gets.
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You get tired.
Yeah, right.
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Tired.
Exhausting.
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Oh my God, within 3 seconds
we've already gone to a deep
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rabbit hole.
It's like, does your man take
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too long?
But yeah, that's that's an
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episode.
Yeah, that's the whole thing.
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Well, anyway, welcome back to a
salty bite.
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Look at us getting salty
already.
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I know.
I love it.
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I think it's just who we are at
this point.
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It is, yeah.
We can't change.
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Yeah, well, it's been another
disappointing week on the apps.
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Would you?
Agree.
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You know, sadly, yes.
What I would love to record one
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of these and be like, Oh my God,
this week.
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Like we both have two dates for
the weekend and the quality is
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high and I had intellectual
Conference, no.
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No, still hasn't happened.
We had that little excitement
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over Sundance, which quickly
receded as we realized none of
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those men were actually from
here.
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And have all my left.
Yeah, they're gone.
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Godspeed, my friends.
Yes.
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Come back soon please.
Move here.
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Yes, that would be nice.
Yeah.
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So what is it with the apps?
Why is it such a garbage fire?
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I don't know, like is it that
apps that have changed or is it
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the people?
Because this is this is where I
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am.
I'm like, maybe the apps have
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just got yucky.
Yeah, maybe there's good men out
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there that aren't on the apps
and we're not seeing them.
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Should we venture into the real
world?
40
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I think we have to.
I think it is necessary, like
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ideally I would love to, to meet
somebody at Trader Joe's or
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something, right?
You always hear.
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About It's happened in the wild.
It's happened for me twice in
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the wild.
Really like a little meat.
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Cute.
Yes.
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Like there's been two occasions
where I like, neither of them
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were like situations that we're
going to workout, but they were
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kind.
Of nice, that is nice, you know.
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Like just people saying hi and
yeah.
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You know, I feel like what I get
a lot is people coming up to me
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and telling me I'm beautiful or
some other compliments.
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It somehow never converts into a
date.
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Or an action, Yeah, Or an ask,
even.
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Right.
Not even an US.
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What?
Is with that.
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I don't know, I don't think I'm
giving fuck you vibes.
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I think I'm like, oh, thank you.
Like, I really appreciate that.
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Do they think that?
Then maybe that's your cue to
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go?
Was your number a number?
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Baby, let's go to the bathroom
right now.
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I mean, maybe, I don't know.
If they were hot enough, maybe.
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But yeah.
Yeah, I was actually thinking
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about that this morning and and
how much I prefer a a compliment
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from a woman.
Like if I'm in a bar and or even
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at a restaurant and you know, a
woman is like, oh, your hair is
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so cute or you look really cute
tonight, I'd like it lands.
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Oh yeah, I agree.
I really like that as well.
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And I try to give those
compliments out too.
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Definitely.
Yeah, because usually you think,
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well, it's not motivated.
Right, yes, they don't want to
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jump into your drawers.
I mean, maybe they do and that's
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fine, but like.
I get that too sometimes, yeah.
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Compliment your girlies.
So yeah, for sure, let's all
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commit to.
That hose before Bros friends
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horse.
Before Bros horse.
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Horse, horse, horse before Bors.
Hors d'oeuvres.
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I don't know what was coming out
there, but I love it.
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It wasn't.
It wasn't that.
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I love it.
You know what?
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I appreciate a compliment from a
man too.
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As long as they aren't weird and
creepy about it, right?
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Right.
Like, keep it light, keep it
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moving, yes, you know.
Follow it up with something.
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Maybe, yeah.
Don't just be like you're pretty
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you're.
Beautiful and then back away
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like.
Awkwardly or stand there.
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What's next?
Yeah, don't, don't do that.
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Yeah, but I don't.
I don't mind the compliments as
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long as it's not weird.
Yeah.
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All right, well, let's review.
So we've concluded we should go
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out into the wild.
I.
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Think we should?
Let's take the salty hose on the
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road, I love it, and see if the
dating scene in Salt Lake City
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is any better than on the apps.
OK, We'll strategize.
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We'll figure out where to go, I
thought.
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We'll straddle.
I was like, girl, yes, but like,
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at least we can do that too.
Give it a minute.
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OK.
All right.
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Well, I have a couple of
profiles to share with you.
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Can't wait.
Oh, yeah, OK, I think you'll
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really not like this one at all
because I certainly didn't I,
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you know, dry heaved a little
bit.
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OK, so this person we are going
to call Sean.
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OK OK, so Sean is 41.
Sean is one of those Tinder
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people that has no profile
picture.
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What?
Yeah.
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So he just has two pictures that
are orange, just pure orange.
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Like, I don't know if it's a
picture of his hand or the table
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or like what?
Right.
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But they're.
So Sean is married then?
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You know, perhaps.
Or is just really bad
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photographer?
I don't know, Sean says.
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He's looking for short term fun,
so I mean already I'm not
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interested, but let's continue.
He's open to exploring.
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Oh, so open, Yeah.
And then in the bio about me it
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says looking for travel partner
to explore some wild places.
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Are you ready?
I'm ready.
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My suitcase is packed.
I can send you more pictures.
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OK.
All right.
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So he's just trying to keep it
private I guess.
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Sight on scene.
I like to travel to South
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America more often.
I like to travel to South
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America too, yes.
And then the final line of his
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profile is, by the way, I am not
into young girls.
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OK, does the lady protest too
much?
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I.
Don't.
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I'm massively creeped out by
that sentence.
128
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Oh my God, yeah, it's like.
No one thought you were, Sir.
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No, no one with your orange
pictures thought Like what?
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Right.
Oh my God, orange pictures.
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And I'm not into young girls.
I'm making a horrifying
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correlation here.
Creepy.
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Oh dear creepy AF.
Wow.
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OK, well that's that.
Just suitcases packed.
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I wonder, I genuinely wonder how
many times has that worked for
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him?
I mean my guess is zero.
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I have to think 0 because.
I mean.
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Who would swipe on that?
Well, because.
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There's an added, would you say
legitimate concern?
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Women like safety, yes, you
know, on the apps where you're
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like, OK, like, is this person
real?
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Are they a murderer?
Like because the reality is that
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people have been harmed from
getting app experiences.
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Yes, they have like even killed,
right.
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So not that I'm trying to take
this on a dark Rd. but you're
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not going to be like, oh,
there's no information, not even
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a picture.
Let me, let me give.
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You my number into young girls,
which she makes a point of
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saying let I know do not like.
Not yeah.
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Hopefully no one has ever swiped
there.
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I hope not.
Well, if you did and you want to
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share it with somebody, this
might be your guy.
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So on the little prompts, again,
I love the prompts.
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They just fill me with joy.
I just don't know if I even go
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on the apps and I with the
intention of looking for a DEET.
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I think I'm just on there to
like what what?
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Does this say don't give up,
Claire?
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Don't give up.
Eyes on the prize.
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This guy is chose to answer the
prompt.
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00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:11,840
My simple pleasures are so we
all love a good simple pleasure,
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you know.
So you expect to find something
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like morning coffee, a walk in
the forest, something at his is
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Would you like to confess
something?
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Oh yeah, OK.
There's an invitation.
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Is he a Catholic priest?
I I mean, it doesn't look like
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it, but yeah, that could be like
a.
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In which case he also doesn't
like young girls.
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Oh Jesus, that was a genuine
supplication to our Lord.
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Sorry, not sorry.
I mean, fair, fair.
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There's a tie in you made it.
That's that's fair.
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If if people want us to talk
better about them, then they
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should be better.
Agreed.
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So yeah, I have another great
one if you want another one.
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Oh, I do always of the prompts.
So this this dude he says his
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personal hell is, which is an
interesting dating prompt.
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It is like.
I don't know that right off the
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bat.
I want to know what your
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personal hell is.
It's a little dramatic.
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It is a little dramatic.
It's a little dramatic if I'm if
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I'm.
Yeah, it's not a prompt I would
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pick unless I had something very
funny and clever to.
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Say right, because it's it's
kind of a dreary thing to share.
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But not for this guy because his
personal hell is passing through
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thousands of mountains and
countless rivers.
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The light shine brightly.
What?
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Well, we got a little poetic
there.
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It's just, I mean, we have had
poets on salty bites.
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Before we have.
And here's another one.
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So his personal hell is
mountains and rivers.
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And rivers, but only if the
lights shine brightly.
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They're not shining brightly,
which would make more sense, but
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00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:56,960
the light the lights are shine
brightly.
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00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:59,360
Oh, so mountains and rivers
might be OK if we had dim
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lighting?
Maybe, wow, maybe it's a
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00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:04,240
lighting issue.
That's wild, yeah.
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But it's his personal hell.
I worry about some of these men,
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00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:09,240
I really do, Claire.
He he wouldn't work for you
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00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:11,880
because you like the mountains.
And the rivers, yes.
199
00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:18,520
And and any kind of light
situation here we are my friend.
200
00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:20,520
Here we are.
Well, I've got one more and I
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00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:22,400
think we have time and if you're
ready.
202
00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:25,200
Share away.
OK, so this is Peter.
203
00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:29,600
Peter is 40 years old.
He swiped on me a couple times,
204
00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:31,000
so I've seen Peter a couple
times.
205
00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:34,360
Peter is persistent.
Yeah, Peter's actually quite
206
00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:36,520
good looking.
Yeah, and like I said, he's 40,
207
00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:38,160
so a little bit younger.
That's OK.
208
00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:42,720
He's got a nice beard, got a
nice face, good looking beard.
209
00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:45,320
Just a no, just like a regular.
Beard a real 1.
210
00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:52,760
Yeah, and however his his bio
decided to just go the body
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00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:56,160
shaming route.
Yeah, so his bio reads in its
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00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:59,560
entirety.
FYI, if you only have face pics,
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00:10:59,560 --> 00:11:02,200
we know you were either a big
girl or insecure about your
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00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:03,240
body.
Just saying.
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00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:09,560
Wow.
Well, that's that's hot, Peter.
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00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:11,080
Right.
So hot.
217
00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:13,200
How?
How often has that worked for
218
00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:15,440
you?
I mean I bet he does get like so
219
00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:20,120
because like I said he is quite
good looking but but and and not
220
00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:21,960
hypocritical.
He does in fact have a couple
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00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:25,120
body shots of himself and his
body is nice too but I just.
222
00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:29,760
I cannot imagine swiping on
someone that decides that their
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00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:33,120
bio is just body shaming.
Well, because I kind of get the
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00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:38,160
feel, I could be wrong, but I
kind of get the feel like he has
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00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:42,760
had experiences where he has
matched with somebody and then
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00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:48,720
he has railed on them for their
body not matching.
227
00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:52,280
Yeah, maybe they were bigger
than he expected, but you know
228
00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:53,840
what?
This is a thought.
229
00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:56,080
And once again, we've we've
talked about this before.
230
00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:58,400
You're allowed to have
preferences. 100%.
231
00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:00,360
For what people look like, yes,
you are allowed to have
232
00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:03,360
preferences for people's body
type, yeah, you're allowed.
233
00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:05,800
Hair color or?
Or hair, right.
234
00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:10,120
Or hair, yeah, that's fine.
But this is a thought that could
235
00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:12,800
be an inside thought.
This is a thought that doesn't
236
00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:14,160
need to go on your bio.
Nope.
237
00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:16,680
And then maybe when you come
across someone with just face
238
00:12:16,680 --> 00:12:19,840
pictures, yeah, or who you
suspect is outside your range of
239
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:23,240
preferences, you could just
swipe left on the left quietly.
240
00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:24,920
Not a big.
Deal, right?
241
00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:28,600
No lecture required for your
profile, right?
242
00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:31,840
Just move on.
Yeah, and you know, plenty of
243
00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:33,400
people on the apps.
Right.
244
00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:36,080
Like, and I get the feeling this
isn't really a public service
245
00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:37,840
announcement that Peter is
giving.
246
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:40,800
Like, I don't think he's
motivated by generosity.
247
00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:44,440
I think he's just kind of taking
a side swipe at people, which I
248
00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:46,120
don't like.
I feel chastised.
249
00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:49,600
Right.
Well, you, you know, I don't
250
00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:51,800
know if you have body pictures
on your profile, do you?
251
00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:57,720
I well a full body, I always put
one because I just think that,
252
00:12:57,800 --> 00:12:59,560
you know, you need a range of
pictures.
253
00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:02,040
So some are close up, some are
further away.
254
00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:06,480
Full body had like just for that
reason I put it on there.
255
00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:09,840
Yeah, I do as well, right, Just
like a Full disclosure type of
256
00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:12,000
thing.
Because, as you say, we all have
257
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,120
preferences.
Sure.
258
00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:15,520
So, and that's fair.
That's why we like to know
259
00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:19,520
height and shit, because it's
just like, yeah.
260
00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:21,000
Yeah.
Wow.
261
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:23,280
OK, Peter.
Well, good luck.
262
00:13:23,560 --> 00:13:24,760
Yeah, good luck Peter, your.
Looks.
263
00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:27,200
Your looks, Your looks.
I went Phil Belfast there.
264
00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:30,000
Your looks.
Your looks will only get you so
265
00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:31,560
far.
Yeah, I don't know, they might
266
00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:34,640
work out for him, but here he is
still on Tinder swiping on me,
267
00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:37,200
so I guess I passed the full
body picture test.
268
00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:38,360
With well.
Done.
269
00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:40,880
I know you should.
Feel very, very.
270
00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:41,720
Pride.
Yeah.
271
00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:43,720
Pat on the back for me.
Peter likes you.
272
00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:45,840
Peter approves.
Yep, Peter approved.
273
00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:47,200
I have the Peter stamp of
approval.
274
00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:50,360
As he languishes on the apps.
Yeah, well, that's all I have.
275
00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:54,200
Well, no dates for me this week.
None for me, they're my friend.
276
00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:57,440
Let's just take up crocheting or
something at this point.
277
00:13:57,440 --> 00:13:59,000
No, no, we are going to go out
in the wild.
278
00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:01,600
We are as decided.
We will report back.
279
00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:03,720
Carry on.
For all the Mormons, we will
280
00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:05,640
return and.
Report with honor.
281
00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:07,800
Yes.
All right, friends, take care.
282
00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:09,520
Bye.
Catch you next time.
00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:23,840
Hey there, salty Hose.
Welcome back.
2
00:00:24,080 --> 00:00:25,800
This is Mel.
And I'm Claire.
3
00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:27,800
And we are the salty.
Hose.
4
00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:29,800
Up the gun.
Oh wow.
5
00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:32,680
Wow, a little premature.
Premature.
6
00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:37,400
It's never good when it's
premature, is it?
7
00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:42,320
I mean no, but I would I prefer
that to the never happening at
8
00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:44,640
all.
This is true because it gets.
9
00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:46,600
You get tired.
Yeah, right.
10
00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:48,040
Tired.
Exhausting.
11
00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:51,120
Oh my God, within 3 seconds
we've already gone to a deep
12
00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:54,280
rabbit hole.
It's like, does your man take
13
00:00:54,280 --> 00:00:56,720
too long?
But yeah, that's that's an
14
00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:58,360
episode.
Yeah, that's the whole thing.
15
00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:02,600
Well, anyway, welcome back to a
salty bite.
16
00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:04,599
Look at us getting salty
already.
17
00:01:04,599 --> 00:01:05,960
I know.
I love it.
18
00:01:05,960 --> 00:01:07,800
I think it's just who we are at
this point.
19
00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:09,600
It is, yeah.
We can't change.
20
00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:13,000
Yeah, well, it's been another
disappointing week on the apps.
21
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:13,680
Would you?
Agree.
22
00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:17,680
You know, sadly, yes.
What I would love to record one
23
00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:21,000
of these and be like, Oh my God,
this week.
24
00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:25,120
Like we both have two dates for
the weekend and the quality is
25
00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:28,440
high and I had intellectual
Conference, no.
26
00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:31,440
No, still hasn't happened.
We had that little excitement
27
00:01:31,440 --> 00:01:34,520
over Sundance, which quickly
receded as we realized none of
28
00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:35,760
those men were actually from
here.
29
00:01:35,960 --> 00:01:38,320
And have all my left.
Yeah, they're gone.
30
00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:41,240
Godspeed, my friends.
Yes.
31
00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:44,640
Come back soon please.
Move here.
32
00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:47,200
Yes, that would be nice.
Yeah.
33
00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:50,160
So what is it with the apps?
Why is it such a garbage fire?
34
00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:54,640
I don't know, like is it that
apps that have changed or is it
35
00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:56,920
the people?
Because this is this is where I
36
00:01:56,920 --> 00:01:58,600
am.
I'm like, maybe the apps have
37
00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:01,280
just got yucky.
Yeah, maybe there's good men out
38
00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:04,440
there that aren't on the apps
and we're not seeing them.
39
00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:06,560
Should we venture into the real
world?
40
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:10,199
I think we have to.
I think it is necessary, like
41
00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:13,760
ideally I would love to, to meet
somebody at Trader Joe's or
42
00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:15,400
something, right?
You always hear.
43
00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:18,040
About It's happened in the wild.
It's happened for me twice in
44
00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:19,600
the wild.
Really like a little meat.
45
00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:20,720
Cute.
Yes.
46
00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:24,000
Like there's been two occasions
where I like, neither of them
47
00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:27,120
were like situations that we're
going to workout, but they were
48
00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:29,000
kind.
Of nice, that is nice, you know.
49
00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:31,800
Like just people saying hi and
yeah.
50
00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:36,160
You know, I feel like what I get
a lot is people coming up to me
51
00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:40,760
and telling me I'm beautiful or
some other compliments.
52
00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:43,760
It somehow never converts into a
date.
53
00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:46,560
Or an action, Yeah, Or an ask,
even.
54
00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:47,720
Right.
Not even an US.
55
00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:48,760
What?
Is with that.
56
00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:51,000
I don't know, I don't think I'm
giving fuck you vibes.
57
00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:53,800
I think I'm like, oh, thank you.
Like, I really appreciate that.
58
00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:56,960
Do they think that?
Then maybe that's your cue to
59
00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:58,920
go?
Was your number a number?
60
00:02:58,920 --> 00:03:00,840
Baby, let's go to the bathroom
right now.
61
00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:05,280
I mean, maybe, I don't know.
If they were hot enough, maybe.
62
00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:08,960
But yeah.
Yeah, I was actually thinking
63
00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:12,800
about that this morning and and
how much I prefer a a compliment
64
00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:16,160
from a woman.
Like if I'm in a bar and or even
65
00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:19,680
at a restaurant and you know, a
woman is like, oh, your hair is
66
00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:24,400
so cute or you look really cute
tonight, I'd like it lands.
67
00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:26,800
Oh yeah, I agree.
I really like that as well.
68
00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:29,000
And I try to give those
compliments out too.
69
00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:32,200
Definitely.
Yeah, because usually you think,
70
00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:35,000
well, it's not motivated.
Right, yes, they don't want to
71
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:37,200
jump into your drawers.
I mean, maybe they do and that's
72
00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:39,680
fine, but like.
I get that too sometimes, yeah.
73
00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:42,760
Compliment your girlies.
So yeah, for sure, let's all
74
00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:44,320
commit to.
That hose before Bros friends
75
00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:45,840
horse.
Before Bros horse.
76
00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:49,160
Horse, horse, horse before Bors.
Hors d'oeuvres.
77
00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:53,800
I don't know what was coming out
there, but I love it.
78
00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:55,840
It wasn't.
It wasn't that.
79
00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:56,880
I love it.
You know what?
80
00:03:56,880 --> 00:03:58,680
I appreciate a compliment from a
man too.
81
00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:00,840
As long as they aren't weird and
creepy about it, right?
82
00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:02,240
Right.
Like, keep it light, keep it
83
00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:04,960
moving, yes, you know.
Follow it up with something.
84
00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:08,480
Maybe, yeah.
Don't just be like you're pretty
85
00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:10,120
you're.
Beautiful and then back away
86
00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:11,640
like.
Awkwardly or stand there.
87
00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:16,000
What's next?
Yeah, don't, don't do that.
88
00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:17,920
Yeah, but I don't.
I don't mind the compliments as
89
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,320
long as it's not weird.
Yeah.
90
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:23,320
All right, well, let's review.
So we've concluded we should go
91
00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:24,160
out into the wild.
I.
92
00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:26,840
Think we should?
Let's take the salty hose on the
93
00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:31,480
road, I love it, and see if the
dating scene in Salt Lake City
94
00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:35,840
is any better than on the apps.
OK, We'll strategize.
95
00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:37,560
We'll figure out where to go, I
thought.
96
00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:40,520
We'll straddle.
I was like, girl, yes, but like,
97
00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:43,040
at least we can do that too.
Give it a minute.
98
00:04:44,840 --> 00:04:45,680
OK.
All right.
99
00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:48,360
Well, I have a couple of
profiles to share with you.
100
00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:50,920
Can't wait.
Oh, yeah, OK, I think you'll
101
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:54,640
really not like this one at all
because I certainly didn't I,
102
00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:56,520
you know, dry heaved a little
bit.
103
00:04:57,280 --> 00:05:02,440
OK, so this person we are going
to call Sean.
104
00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:07,880
OK OK, so Sean is 41.
Sean is one of those Tinder
105
00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:10,000
people that has no profile
picture.
106
00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:11,560
What?
Yeah.
107
00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:16,800
So he just has two pictures that
are orange, just pure orange.
108
00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:19,200
Like, I don't know if it's a
picture of his hand or the table
109
00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:20,200
or like what?
Right.
110
00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:21,720
But they're.
So Sean is married then?
111
00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:24,920
You know, perhaps.
Or is just really bad
112
00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:28,640
photographer?
I don't know, Sean says.
113
00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:31,920
He's looking for short term fun,
so I mean already I'm not
114
00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:35,440
interested, but let's continue.
He's open to exploring.
115
00:05:35,840 --> 00:05:40,960
Oh, so open, Yeah.
And then in the bio about me it
116
00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:45,760
says looking for travel partner
to explore some wild places.
117
00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:48,280
Are you ready?
I'm ready.
118
00:05:48,280 --> 00:05:52,120
My suitcase is packed.
I can send you more pictures.
119
00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:53,360
OK.
All right.
120
00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:55,920
So he's just trying to keep it
private I guess.
121
00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:59,760
Sight on scene.
I like to travel to South
122
00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:03,200
America more often.
I like to travel to South
123
00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:05,800
America too, yes.
And then the final line of his
124
00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:09,400
profile is, by the way, I am not
into young girls.
125
00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:13,000
OK, does the lady protest too
much?
126
00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:13,960
I.
Don't.
127
00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:16,240
I'm massively creeped out by
that sentence.
128
00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:21,400
Oh my God, yeah, it's like.
No one thought you were, Sir.
129
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:25,520
No, no one with your orange
pictures thought Like what?
130
00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:29,080
Right.
Oh my God, orange pictures.
131
00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:32,080
And I'm not into young girls.
I'm making a horrifying
132
00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:34,760
correlation here.
Creepy.
133
00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:38,800
Oh dear creepy AF.
Wow.
134
00:06:39,280 --> 00:06:44,200
OK, well that's that.
Just suitcases packed.
135
00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:48,200
I wonder, I genuinely wonder how
many times has that worked for
136
00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:50,320
him?
I mean my guess is zero.
137
00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:53,400
I have to think 0 because.
I mean.
138
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:55,160
Who would swipe on that?
Well, because.
139
00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:59,440
There's an added, would you say
legitimate concern?
140
00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:04,320
Women like safety, yes, you
know, on the apps where you're
141
00:07:04,320 --> 00:07:06,480
like, OK, like, is this person
real?
142
00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:10,680
Are they a murderer?
Like because the reality is that
143
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:13,480
people have been harmed from
getting app experiences.
144
00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:15,720
Yes, they have like even killed,
right.
145
00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:20,160
So not that I'm trying to take
this on a dark Rd. but you're
146
00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:23,040
not going to be like, oh,
there's no information, not even
147
00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:24,800
a picture.
Let me, let me give.
148
00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:28,160
You my number into young girls,
which she makes a point of
149
00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:33,560
saying let I know do not like.
Not yeah.
150
00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:35,640
Hopefully no one has ever swiped
there.
151
00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:41,120
I hope not.
Well, if you did and you want to
152
00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:44,000
share it with somebody, this
might be your guy.
153
00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:48,200
So on the little prompts, again,
I love the prompts.
154
00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:51,400
They just fill me with joy.
I just don't know if I even go
155
00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:54,720
on the apps and I with the
intention of looking for a DEET.
156
00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:58,440
I think I'm just on there to
like what what?
157
00:07:58,440 --> 00:08:00,320
Does this say don't give up,
Claire?
158
00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:02,680
Don't give up.
Eyes on the prize.
159
00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:06,720
This guy is chose to answer the
prompt.
160
00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:11,840
My simple pleasures are so we
all love a good simple pleasure,
161
00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:14,040
you know.
So you expect to find something
162
00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:19,760
like morning coffee, a walk in
the forest, something at his is
163
00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:21,960
Would you like to confess
something?
164
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:26,440
Oh yeah, OK.
There's an invitation.
165
00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:31,040
Is he a Catholic priest?
I I mean, it doesn't look like
166
00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:33,039
it, but yeah, that could be like
a.
167
00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:34,880
In which case he also doesn't
like young girls.
168
00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:40,320
Oh Jesus, that was a genuine
supplication to our Lord.
169
00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:44,200
Sorry, not sorry.
I mean, fair, fair.
170
00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:47,920
There's a tie in you made it.
That's that's fair.
171
00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:50,560
If if people want us to talk
better about them, then they
172
00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:51,760
should be better.
Agreed.
173
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:56,440
So yeah, I have another great
one if you want another one.
174
00:08:56,440 --> 00:09:04,880
Oh, I do always of the prompts.
So this this dude he says his
175
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personal hell is, which is an
interesting dating prompt.
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It is like.
I don't know that right off the
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bat.
I want to know what your
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personal hell is.
It's a little dramatic.
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It is a little dramatic.
It's a little dramatic if I'm if
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I'm.
Yeah, it's not a prompt I would
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pick unless I had something very
funny and clever to.
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Say right, because it's it's
kind of a dreary thing to share.
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But not for this guy because his
personal hell is passing through
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thousands of mountains and
countless rivers.
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The light shine brightly.
What?
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Well, we got a little poetic
there.
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It's just, I mean, we have had
poets on salty bites.
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Before we have.
And here's another one.
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So his personal hell is
mountains and rivers.
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And rivers, but only if the
lights shine brightly.
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They're not shining brightly,
which would make more sense, but
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the light the lights are shine
brightly.
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Oh, so mountains and rivers
might be OK if we had dim
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lighting?
Maybe, wow, maybe it's a
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lighting issue.
That's wild, yeah.
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But it's his personal hell.
I worry about some of these men,
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I really do, Claire.
He he wouldn't work for you
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because you like the mountains.
And the rivers, yes.
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And and any kind of light
situation here we are my friend.
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Here we are.
Well, I've got one more and I
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think we have time and if you're
ready.
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Share away.
OK, so this is Peter.
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Peter is 40 years old.
He swiped on me a couple times,
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so I've seen Peter a couple
times.
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Peter is persistent.
Yeah, Peter's actually quite
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good looking.
Yeah, and like I said, he's 40,
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so a little bit younger.
That's OK.
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He's got a nice beard, got a
nice face, good looking beard.
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Just a no, just like a regular.
Beard a real 1.
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Yeah, and however his his bio
decided to just go the body
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shaming route.
Yeah, so his bio reads in its
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entirety.
FYI, if you only have face pics,
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we know you were either a big
girl or insecure about your
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body.
Just saying.
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Wow.
Well, that's that's hot, Peter.
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Right.
So hot.
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How?
How often has that worked for
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you?
I mean I bet he does get like so
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because like I said he is quite
good looking but but and and not
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hypocritical.
He does in fact have a couple
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body shots of himself and his
body is nice too but I just.
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I cannot imagine swiping on
someone that decides that their
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bio is just body shaming.
Well, because I kind of get the
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feel, I could be wrong, but I
kind of get the feel like he has
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had experiences where he has
matched with somebody and then
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he has railed on them for their
body not matching.
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Yeah, maybe they were bigger
than he expected, but you know
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what?
This is a thought.
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And once again, we've we've
talked about this before.
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You're allowed to have
preferences. 100%.
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For what people look like, yes,
you are allowed to have
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preferences for people's body
type, yeah, you're allowed.
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Hair color or?
Or hair, right.
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Or hair, yeah, that's fine.
But this is a thought that could
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be an inside thought.
This is a thought that doesn't
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need to go on your bio.
Nope.
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And then maybe when you come
across someone with just face
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pictures, yeah, or who you
suspect is outside your range of
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preferences, you could just
swipe left on the left quietly.
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Not a big.
Deal, right?
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No lecture required for your
profile, right?
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Just move on.
Yeah, and you know, plenty of
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people on the apps.
Right.
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Like, and I get the feeling this
isn't really a public service
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announcement that Peter is
giving.
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Like, I don't think he's
motivated by generosity.
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I think he's just kind of taking
a side swipe at people, which I
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don't like.
I feel chastised.
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Right.
Well, you, you know, I don't
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know if you have body pictures
on your profile, do you?
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I well a full body, I always put
one because I just think that,
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you know, you need a range of
pictures.
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So some are close up, some are
further away.
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Full body had like just for that
reason I put it on there.
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00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:09,840
Yeah, I do as well, right, Just
like a Full disclosure type of
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thing.
Because, as you say, we all have
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preferences.
Sure.
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So, and that's fair.
That's why we like to know
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height and shit, because it's
just like, yeah.
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Yeah.
Wow.
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OK, Peter.
Well, good luck.
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Yeah, good luck Peter, your.
Looks.
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Your looks, Your looks.
I went Phil Belfast there.
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Your looks.
Your looks will only get you so
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far.
Yeah, I don't know, they might
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work out for him, but here he is
still on Tinder swiping on me,
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so I guess I passed the full
body picture test.
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With well.
Done.
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I know you should.
Feel very, very.
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Pride.
Yeah.
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Pat on the back for me.
Peter likes you.
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Peter approves.
Yep, Peter approved.
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I have the Peter stamp of
approval.
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As he languishes on the apps.
Yeah, well, that's all I have.
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Well, no dates for me this week.
None for me, they're my friend.
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Let's just take up crocheting or
something at this point.
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No, no, we are going to go out
in the wild.
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We are as decided.
We will report back.
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Carry on.
For all the Mormons, we will
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return and.
Report with honor.
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Yes.
All right, friends, take care.
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Bye.
Catch you next time.