Episode 1 of Infinity: The Bar is in Hell

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Hello.
Hello.

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My name is Claire.
I'm Mel.

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And together, we are the salty
hoes.

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Welcome back to another episode.
We're so excited to be here

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today.
We are.

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I've missed you.
It's only two.

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Two.
It's only been a few days but I

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feel like it was too long
without you.

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I feel the same way.
I think it's because we

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practically lived together.
Last weekend we did.

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It was like it was a it was a
heartbreak.

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Yeah, it was a magical weekend,
it.

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Was a very magical.
And then I got, you know,

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withdrawals.
Me too, yeah.

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It was like, can it just not be
like this every day?

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I know it should be like that
every day.

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I that would be the best life to
just be like that every day.

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Agreed.
You never know, Stranger things

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have happened.
We are also back in our our home

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studio, as we call it.
We.

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Are yes.
It was not available last time

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so we were shut up in a little
hot box it was.

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So sweaty.
Yes, deeply sweaty so we can see

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each other's faces.
I love that when our mouths are

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speaking.
So we're not talking over each

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other non-stop.
This is going to be going to be

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a lot better of a setup.
Yes, I agree.

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And we have a great, great topic
this week.

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We sure do.
Tell us about all about it, Mel.

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Well, I think we're going to
discuss angry men that we've met

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or or have avoided meeting.
Perhaps in some cases, yes.

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Is that right?
I think that that is very right.

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And you know, we did do a
previous episode at Caliban and

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the Witch about that we book and
we talked about this sort of low

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level or not so low level in
some cases, like contempt that

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it feels is out there,
particularly on dating apps.

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And to be very clear, we're
trying to understand it rather

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than, I mean, we condemn it also
because, yes, anger at strangers

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as it is sometimes is not good.
And, you know, it just seems to

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be like more of a pervasive
thread.

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Would you say that's that's?
Accurate.

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Oh, absolutely.
I think the dating apps are kind

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of full of men.
The exhibit either thinly veiled

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hostility or not at all veiled
hostility towards women.

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And we see it sometimes in the
BIOS when the BIOS are just kind

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of like insulting like from the
get go.

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Sometimes they're body shaming,
sometimes they're shaming some

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other things.
Sometimes they're using the

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space to talk about how women
suck rather than to talk about

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themselves.
So we see that and we do not

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match with those men.
But sometimes, you know, 1 gets

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through our filter where they
seem pretty normal or nice.

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And then we, when we match with
them, maybe we even go on a date

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or two and then we find, I don't
know, the button or we find the

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untapped well of hostility and
it's just something that we run

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into a lot.
So we're going to talk about it.

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We're going to come at this, I
think, from a couple of

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perspectives #1 like Claire
said, an academic perspective,

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maybe like how do we understand
this?

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But also, I think the hope for
me is to turn some of these

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quite unpleasant interactions
into laughs.

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Yes, because that's what we do.
Yeah, for your enjoyment and

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ours mostly for your.
Pleasure.

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Well, and, you know, sometimes
if you didn't laugh, you might

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cry because there's sometimes
with, you know, these

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interactions that we'll talk
about that I do come away

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feeling just icky, like just not
good, Yeah.

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And upset even sometimes.
And I think I've had to learn to

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manage it, such as the
frequency.

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And as we talked like before we
started recording, like there

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comes a time and you're like, is
it me?

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Like, am I saying something?
Am I like, do I need to think

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about my texting etiquette?
Like what what is going on here?

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That this, it seems so common.
And you know, I was off the, the

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dating apps for quite some years
and I, I do think it's worse.

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I think you're right.
I mean, I guess I've only been

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on the apps very off and on for
about four years, but I think

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I've spent a lot more time off
than on to be honest.

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I just haven't really had the
bandwidth to date and I don't

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know it just every time I do,
it's disappointing.

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So I haven't like done that much
of it really, you know, also, I

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have really very little time to
do it in between.

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Like, you know, all my lovely
friends, my my work and and my

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son.
Like I don't want to be leaving

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my son at night to like go date
weird men, right So.

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This is very true because you
will have a much more pleasant

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evening with your child.
And yeah, I there's not a draw

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for me to seriously or serially
did anymore.

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Like it takes a lot for somebody
to get through the filter.

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And then when they do, it takes
a lot to get to a date for me

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where's like before I would have
had two dates in one night.

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And like when I say before, I'm
talking about like eight years

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ago, like quite some time in my
younger days, I, I would have

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had multiple dates a week and
not even thought about that.

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Just I have no interest because
as you said, there's better

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things that I just feel like I
could be doing now.

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I know and it's it's a struggle
right, because I would like to

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have a boyfriend but I don't
want to go on dates Yes.

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I know.
Well, that's it.

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Like, I sort of fantasize about
a situation of, you know, oh,

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maybe it's something I know
already or or maybe it's, you

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know, we'll just fall into this
mutually excited space.

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And yeah, I think that should
just only exist in the realm of

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fantasy because I mean, I don't
want to be despondent or there's

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never going to happen, but I
feel like it's never going to

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happen.
I definitely have more days like

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that than days where I'm full of
hope and optimism.

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And can I just point out as like
a, like a, a benchmark, shall we

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say, like you and I, I would
say, sorry, I'm speaking for you

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right now.
But I believe that we share a

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general life approach.
Like this is a whole other topic

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which we'll do an episode on.
But like menopause and aging

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because you and I are like,
yeah, fuck that.

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Like we're, we don't want to buy
into like then the negative

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narrative around it, you know,
and, and we will seek out the

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positive things that you can do
and to look after your body and

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to, you know, like we share a
hopeful vision generally of

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life.
Yes, I think that's right.

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Yes.
And so let it be known then like

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we're really, really, really,
really trying to be positive

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about dating.
And then, you know, there's just

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situational psychology and
really simple terms, right?

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If you walk into a room full of
blue chairs and there's one

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yellow chair in the center, and
every time you sit on the yellow

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chair it gives you a shock, you
are going to start to mistrust

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yellow chairs.
Indeed, and so I don't know what

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on earth you could be
analogizing here.

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The men.
'S AKA are yellow chairs.

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Like I, I'm really trying, I'm
really trying and it's, it's,

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it's getting more difficult
because I think like anger is a

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feeling gives me major ick.
Yeah, I me too.

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And, and it also exhausts me.
It's very, very tiring.

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I don't like to be really mad.
I mean, and if I like do get

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angry, I like it to just be like
a white hot like surge of

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righteous anger and then have it
subside and like just go about

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my day, if that makes sense.
Yeah.

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And the fact that you're even
aware of that, you know where

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you're like, because
experiencing it, right?

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It's it's there for a reason
like stress or fear or you know,

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it's, it's good, but the the
part that is missing sometimes

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is 0.
I am feeling anger.

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Should I go for a run?
Should I, you know, punch my

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punching bag?
That's should I like a real 1,

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not like.
You know, not like a human.

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It's not like a human.
Or, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm

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gonna do something.
But I think the problem is then

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that clearly a lot of men get
upset in dating apps because we

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don't answer in a way they think
we should and they just explode.

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Yeah, and, and it can like turn
on a dime and it's really

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strange to me.
So strange, like it's not

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predictable.
Yeah, that's right.

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Absolutely.
Well, should we get stuck into a

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few examples or a little little
follow up maybe on on previous?

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Men's, I think we should, but I
do have one more thing to say

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first just and I'm going to
speak for both of us since you

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did, I think I will as well.
I think at this point.

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We can.
We can.

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Yeah.
We know each other well enough.

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Yes.
I think there's a comment that I

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get a lot, and you do too, which
is how on earth are you still

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single?
Yes.

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And you know, I think people
look at us and are like, hey,

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objectively you 2 are each like
the whole fucking package.

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Which is lovely.
Thank you, friends.

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Yeah.
Thank you.

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I mean, I think not to be like
super boastful, but I think we

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are both beautiful.
I think no, it's true.

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And I'm speaking for myself too,
so you know.

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I'm.
Gorgeous.

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I'm gorgeous.
I think we both have rock and

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bods, right?
But not just that.

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We are smart, we are funny,
right?

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We are kind, we take care of our
friends and the people in our

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lives.
We both own businesses that are

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successful.
We're financially good and we

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don't.
We're not.

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Looking for stuff?
Yeah.

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We're not insane, OK?
We're not like crazy bitches.

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I have a moment or two, but but
yes, we're pretty chill.

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Yes, chill.
Reasonable.

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I would.
Say chill, reasonable and fully

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formed human beings.
So then you feel like well come

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on, like I actually am a catch.
Like where?

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But every man we run across
tends to be disappointing,

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problematic.
Like what even is the word I

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know?
That's the thing because it's

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like some of them seem to be
excited about some of those

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things that you mentioned, but
then it's it's almost like you

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meet them and they then hate you
for the things that they said.

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They were attracted to you for
Oh my God, that's such a good

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point.
So yes, they are simultaneously

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attracted to, but also repelled
by and potentially intimidated

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by the very things they say they
want.

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Yes, and it comes out like in
the angry ways then and like I

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am all about trying to
understand where people are

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coming from and like you know
what's going on or but what like

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then like what is the solution
there are do you have to make

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yourself worse?
To be liked.

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That is not the solution, I
think.

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I think both of us have
experimented with that.

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We have definitely dipped our
toe perhaps an entire foot into

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that whole.
Leg, you know, whatever.

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Maybe completely submerged all
the body parts.

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A little baptism by immersion in
the Lake of Contempt.

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Oh my God, I love that you.
You are so good with the the

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titles.
I love it.

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You know, all the time, which
could be another reason why a

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man would hate you.
But yeah, like, like, what is

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it?
What is it?

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Like what?
What?

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I just, I don't know.
We're just trying to process out

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loud here friends.
If anyone has an idea, please

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call us.
Yes, let us.

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Know reach us out of your misery
or and you know, as I've said

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before, this, this isn't a Dick
punching episode because that's

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what you get accused of.
But I'm just I'm in I'm in

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wonder.
I'm I'm like why like?

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I do have a question which is
when do we get to record the

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Dick punching?
Episode you're like but can we?

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I'm ready for.
That, I mean, honestly, I don't

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know.
Like, I don't know.

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I'll speak for us both.
Again, I don't know how much

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more of this we can take.
I know, right?

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Just patience is wearing thin,
folks.

225
00:12:57,280 --> 00:13:02,040
Yes, yes, very, very thin.
Yes, very thin.

226
00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:04,480
Like a like a middle-aged man's
hairline.

227
00:13:04,560 --> 00:13:06,280
You could say you went.
There.

228
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:10,160
Sorry, that's mean, but also not
because yeah, I'm just tired.

229
00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:13,840
I'm tired too.
I'm tired, You and I both sort

230
00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:18,360
of like semi lamented on Sunday.
Like, we don't, we don't even

231
00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:20,360
want to get married.
Could we just have like a nice

232
00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:23,040
boyfriend for a while?
Yeah, like someone to do

233
00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:24,560
activities with.
Yes.

234
00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:27,840
Like Sunday afternoon stroll
like.

235
00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:31,840
Something.
Just, you know, because I worry

236
00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:36,680
that I'm actually like, I won't
be able to at some point.

237
00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:40,440
Yeah, like what if, what if?
Because even I see I'm like

238
00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:43,520
talking in fragmented sentences.
No, you're not.

239
00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:48,240
My like, I feel emotional about
this because it's just like I

240
00:13:48,240 --> 00:13:52,480
worry that I have become an
avoidant man basically sometimes

241
00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:55,920
because you know, I'll be like,
I don't, I don't like the color

242
00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:59,440
of your socks.
I'm going to swipe left like or

243
00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:02,680
you know, you're like, God,
would I know how to function

244
00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:05,800
with another person in my life
like.

245
00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:10,560
I think that if you were to come
across a person who could a

246
00:14:10,560 --> 00:14:14,680
match you and B knew how to
regulate their own goddamn

247
00:14:14,680 --> 00:14:18,600
emotions, that you would know
how to interact with that and it

248
00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:21,360
would be lovely.
So maybe just when you're not

249
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:23,040
dating a toddler it would be
fine.

250
00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:24,800
Right.
So do these men exist?

251
00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:26,080
Unclear.
We think so.

252
00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:27,760
We hope so.
But you know.

253
00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:30,720
We, we've seen some of our
married friends that that have

254
00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:34,760
achieved this on some, I mean.
Some level you think because.

255
00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:37,560
You don't live in the house with
them so you never know.

256
00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:41,320
But I don't like even.
This was a completely neutral

257
00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:43,960
statement a friend of mine made
this week where they were like,

258
00:14:44,880 --> 00:14:47,760
you know, oh, yeah, I said to my
husband, I was doing this with

259
00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:50,760
you or, you know, something like
that, just something completely

260
00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:54,160
neutral.
And I got like, I was like, oh,

261
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:57,880
I would have to like, hate to
have a person that I would have

262
00:14:57,880 --> 00:15:01,840
to say, are you busy this night?
Because I want to do this.

263
00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:05,400
Like I just got an echo by being
coupled.

264
00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:09,520
But that's that's where I worry
sometimes where I'm like, Oh my

265
00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:12,000
God.
I mean, I think that's fair

266
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:16,000
because you've been in at least
a couple of relationships where

267
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,040
being coupled has meant being
controlled.

268
00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:19,480
That's true.
Yeah.

269
00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:22,080
Yeah.
So it could be associated with

270
00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:24,440
that.
I don't know, but I think that

271
00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:27,600
could be the case.
Yeah, yeah.

272
00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:30,760
There is a wall that we'll need
to come down a.

273
00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:33,560
Little Yeah.
OK, well, I feel like we've

274
00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:36,440
lamented for long enough for the
moment.

275
00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:41,360
Shall we get into all the lovely
men that we have met or not met?

276
00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:44,080
Hell yes, for reasons.
Yes.

277
00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:50,400
So shall we do a little like
recap, Oh, I love on some diets

278
00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:53,320
that we've mentioned and maybe
not like tied up those ends.

279
00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:56,080
Yeah.
Before we get into like the the

280
00:15:56,360 --> 00:16:00,400
the meaty super angry men's
stories, these are just the low

281
00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:03,560
key angry men's stories.
Yeah, I like that.

282
00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:06,760
Let's do that because I do have
people asking me sometimes when

283
00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:08,480
they see me.
Oh, what happened with this guy?

284
00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:09,680
What happened with this other
guy?

285
00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:13,200
So yes, sure, let's do a little
whip around.

286
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:16,040
Where do we want to start?
Should we start?

287
00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:19,480
What about because the German?
The German was on the horizon

288
00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:21,600
and I don't think we followed up
on the German.

289
00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:23,920
We didn't.
OK, so the German, so if you

290
00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:27,160
didn't listen to that episode,
just to bring you up to date, I

291
00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:32,120
matched with the German a long
time ago and then he immediately

292
00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:35,240
went out of the country.
So I didn't actually meet him.

293
00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:39,080
And so we texted back and forth
for about 8 weeks, probably

294
00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:41,480
before he was finally back and
we met up.

295
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:45,520
And in those eight weeks, he
sent me these long novels of

296
00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:47,760
texts.
Like you saw them.

297
00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:50,440
Sometimes I would have to scroll
2 times to see the whole text.

298
00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:52,320
My God.
And you're just like, this is

299
00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:54,600
amazing, right?
He sent me all these pictures,

300
00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:58,240
like all this stuff.
And then it was one of those

301
00:16:58,240 --> 00:17:02,440
interactions where you're just
like, there's nothing to say.

302
00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:03,200
Yeah.
Right.

303
00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:06,960
It was just like, boring and
like, hello.

304
00:17:07,319 --> 00:17:11,000
Hi.
And yeah, there was a bit more

305
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:14,319
of a language barrier than I had
anticipated as well.

306
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:16,800
Yeah.
So that was a little bit rough,

307
00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:18,560
too.
But honestly, it was just like,

308
00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:21,319
it was actually the worst of
both worlds, Claire, because

309
00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:27,560
number one, it was boring, and
number two, it wasn't like funny

310
00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:30,120
enough to give me good material
for the podcast.

311
00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:35,080
So it's like a double fail.
Yeah, you're just like this is

312
00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:37,560
just so.
Flat line.

313
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:39,440
Yeah.
It's not even a good story

314
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:42,760
anyway.
So that was pretty much it.

315
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:44,920
One and done.
Oh well.

316
00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:46,760
Rough.
Did you like?

317
00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:49,960
Did you go on the D like after?
Did you follow up with each

318
00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:50,640
other?
Or no.

319
00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:53,320
Oh my complete silence.
Wow.

320
00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:57,320
Yeah, I was going to like text
him the next day or like I kind

321
00:17:57,320 --> 00:17:59,960
of expected he would send a text
like, oh, good to meet you.

322
00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:02,000
And then I would have responded.
But like, he didn't text

323
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:03,160
anything.
So I was like, you know what,

324
00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:04,880
I'm not going to either.
Yeah, that's fine.

325
00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:06,560
You're.
Like let's just put that in the

326
00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:07,840
rear view.
Yeah, that's right.

327
00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:09,640
I already said thank you like we
had.

328
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:12,040
We talked after the day.
I really thought he was like

329
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:16,320
into it, but I'm actually quite
fine that he wasn't.

330
00:18:17,120 --> 00:18:20,200
Wow, if that's what happened.
It's so disappointing because we

331
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:25,480
were, we were holding high hope
like I think on him because the

332
00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:27,880
you're like 8 weeks.
Is a.

333
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:31,000
That's a long time.
Point of time and there was

334
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:32,440
build up and we were hopeful
and.

335
00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:35,440
And like you and I both were
trying not to be excited.

336
00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:36,840
And yeah.
And oh.

337
00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:40,560
I mean, I think the good news,
at least with him, was he was as

338
00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:42,800
advertised.
He looked like his pictures.

339
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:44,800
So good.
Good job, right?

340
00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:48,760
He wasn't a creep or a weirdo or
an angry man, at least not that

341
00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:51,600
I saw.
It was just like, blah, just

342
00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:55,240
blah, blah, blah.
I'm laughing not at this, but at

343
00:18:55,240 --> 00:19:00,360
like our list of gratefulness.
I'm so grateful he wasn't an

344
00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:02,960
angry man.
I'm so grateful that you know he

345
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:06,480
didn't spike my drink.
I'm so like, right.

346
00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:09,160
It's you have to laugh or you
cry.

347
00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:10,080
Seriously.
Never.

348
00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:11,880
Leave the house.
I know that's where the bar is.

349
00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:15,640
OK, well, let me ask you.
We haven't heard about Mr.

350
00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:18,600
Clydesdale in a long time.
And Miss I mean, it's signs so

351
00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:22,360
grand, he signs so majestic.
You know, that is like one of

352
00:19:22,360 --> 00:19:25,160
the weirdest experiences of my
life.

353
00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:31,080
And I also kind of hate that on
the, the the rare 2 occasions

354
00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:35,880
that I met Mr. Clydesdale in
real life, he is a great kisser

355
00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:39,000
and I hate that.
I hate it.

356
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,800
I hate that for you too.
I, I really do hate that like

357
00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:45,840
that there was never any other
physical contact between us.

358
00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:52,320
It was just that.
But I had two more

359
00:19:53,120 --> 00:19:55,520
disappointing, shall we say,
smooches after that.

360
00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:59,320
And I'm just like, Oh yeah, I, I
wish I could just, you know,

361
00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:02,360
replace that with a better kiss
or something because I, I don't

362
00:20:02,360 --> 00:20:05,480
know.
Why I was sort of, I wouldn't

363
00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:09,360
say hung up on this man, but
there was definitely a draw.

364
00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:12,680
Yeah.
Of, of probably it was, you

365
00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:17,080
know, how people will say it's
your nervous system on, on the

366
00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:20,840
wrong kind of alertness?
Yeah, I think it was probably

367
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:22,360
that.
And I do know that we would have

368
00:20:22,360 --> 00:20:25,240
been bad for each other.
I think I, you know, but there

369
00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:29,880
was undeniably some kind of a
draw there for us both.

370
00:20:30,360 --> 00:20:34,320
But it mostly just resided in,
like, the smutty text land.

371
00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:37,960
Yeah.
I mean, he had no interest ever,

372
00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:40,960
ever in meeting up with me.
And something that was

373
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:44,600
interesting about him was
towards the end where it was

374
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:46,400
just like, you know, we're just
going to.

375
00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:49,080
I don't want to keep texting you
every day for the rest of my

376
00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:52,560
life.
He called me a couple of times

377
00:20:52,560 --> 00:21:00,520
and appeared vulnerable, but I
noticed that he only called when

378
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:04,320
I sort of questioned indirectly
if he was a nice guy.

379
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:07,520
Oh yeah, yeah.
And it was like he was calling

380
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:09,440
to be like, I am a nice guy.
I am a nice.

381
00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:12,720
Guy, let me prove it.
Yeah, we'll go for coffee soon

382
00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:14,400
and then.
Promises, promises.

383
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:18,080
Crickets I.
Also do have a theory that he

384
00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:20,560
actually has a girlfriend.
Yeah, I think that's quite

385
00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:23,040
possible given some of the
things you shared with me, like

386
00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:24,880
texts that didn't seem to be for
you.

387
00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:28,080
Yes, yes.
And that was that sort of came

388
00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:30,480
right at the end where I was
like, you know what I don't?

389
00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:33,880
Let's not do.
This anymore because, you know,

390
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:38,400
he yeah, there was one night
where we'd been texting it was

391
00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:42,720
like he would give me these 11
literally one word answers and

392
00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:46,320
then we sort of said goodnight
and 10 minutes later he was

393
00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:50,880
like, oh hey, how was your day?
And I was like, I don't think

394
00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:53,640
this was meant for me so.
Yeah.

395
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:58,680
He split his time between Salt
Lake and another area in Utah,

396
00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:02,520
shall we say, and I'm pretty
sure the girlfriend was in the

397
00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:04,600
other area a couple of hours
away.

398
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:09,520
And you know, if I was coupled
with somebody, I would not

399
00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:13,040
appreciate them sending some of
the texts that he was sending to

400
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:15,160
me.
Yeah, definitely.

401
00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:19,160
That's it was pretty suspicious.
And yeah, you don't want to like

402
00:22:19,360 --> 00:22:22,400
be part of that.
And I mean, to be fair, you

403
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:23,720
don't know that he had a
girlfriend.

404
00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:26,640
And I think, like, he didn't
start making those slips so kind

405
00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:28,760
of late in the game, right?
Like.

406
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:33,880
Literally days before I cut it
off because I was like, and, you

407
00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:37,920
know, we, we do some Internet
sleuthing and I was like, oh,

408
00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:41,360
OK.
And I was like, yeah, I do not

409
00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:42,960
want to be a part of that.
Like.

410
00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:46,600
Yeah, yeah, totally fair.
So no more Mr. Clydesdale.

411
00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:49,920
I mean, I think that is good
because like you said, he was

412
00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:52,200
never going to be like a
relationship.

413
00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:56,080
But I am a little sad that you
never hooked up because just

414
00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:59,840
like sometimes don't you think
like when they're good kissers,

415
00:22:59,840 --> 00:23:02,520
you're like, I bet you're good
at kissing other places you're.

416
00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:07,920
Like that may be a fun evening.
But like, maybe you know how to

417
00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:09,720
use your mouth, which some men
do not.

418
00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:13,040
Oh no they do not.
Which can I ask a question about

419
00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:14,040
that?
Of course you can.

420
00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:18,680
Sidebar maybe I'm naive but this
has happened to me on the last

421
00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:22,120
two kisses I have had and I
didn't like it and I'm like is

422
00:23:22,120 --> 00:23:26,080
this a is this a thing that I've
missed, just missed my entire

423
00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:28,720
life?
I do not.

424
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:34,320
This is maybe TMI.
I don't like the whole sucking

425
00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:36,720
on your bottom lip thing.
Yeah.

426
00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:39,200
I don't like that.
It's not super my favorite

427
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:40,000
either.
Yep.

428
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:42,520
Especially when it's like the
whole like bottom lip.

429
00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:44,880
It's like a giant.
It's like suction is applied.

430
00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:47,080
It's like, yes, you're like,
sorry for the noise.

431
00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:52,120
We needed the noise because it's
kind of weird to me.

432
00:23:52,120 --> 00:23:57,080
And also I like permanently have
like a little bit of blue on my

433
00:23:57,080 --> 00:24:00,320
bottom lip.
Like I was like, am I dying to

434
00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:01,960
my doctor?
And she was like, oh, God, yeah,

435
00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:03,520
that turned blue in front of my
eyes.

436
00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:06,880
And I was like, should I worry?
And she's like, no, I, you're

437
00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:08,320
fine.
And so.

438
00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:11,680
But I see it in pictures
sometimes and I'm like I do not

439
00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:13,920
need any more blue on my bottom.
Lip.

440
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:20,080
Because I'm like a little Peach,
I bruise easily and such is the

441
00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:23,320
force of the suction.
Yeah, it doesn't need to be that

442
00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:24,960
forceful people.
Well, especially.

443
00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:28,200
If it's just like low key after
a date in a street, it's like,

444
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:30,600
you know, we're not having mad
crazy sex here.

445
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:34,000
Like yeah, take it easily
kissing me by my car.

446
00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:36,440
Right and maybe like put the
whole tongue back in your mouth

447
00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:38,600
like I don't mind a little
tongue, but when it's like a

448
00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:40,760
first kiss and you're.
Like in a parking lot.

449
00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:42,040
Sticking a tongue down my
throat?

450
00:24:42,040 --> 00:24:44,920
How about no?
You're like, let's work our way

451
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:46,800
up to that maybe.
Right.

452
00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:49,320
So yeah, hard pass on the the
bottom lip.

453
00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:51,960
Action Sorry, I just I meant to.
Ask you that many.

454
00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:53,600
I like it.
I'm like, is this a new

455
00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:55,560
development?
Is this being heavily featured

456
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:57,640
in porn right now?
Because why are they?

457
00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:00,840
I mean, all two people because,
you know, I don't have a very

458
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:02,800
hot dating life, but I'm just
like, why?

459
00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:07,320
Don't do it, salty Bros.
Don't unless it's asked for.

460
00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:09,200
Don't do that.
Fair.

461
00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:14,480
Yeah, OK, so no more Mr.
Clydesdale, wah wah, Boo Hoo,

462
00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:18,240
but also maybe good.
Yeah, well, one that I know,

463
00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:23,760
like a lot of people have even
asked me about, is Mr. 11 Oh my

464
00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:26,640
God, everybody asked about Mr.
11.

465
00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:29,960
They asked me to like I get a
lot of questions about Mr. 11.

466
00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:35,240
Yeah, we have a very on again
off again even communication.

467
00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:39,960
So he will peace out for weeks
or months at a time?

468
00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:44,520
Often months, yeah.
And then always he comes back.

469
00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:48,400
Yeah, right.
Like we could bet our bottom

470
00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:49,880
dollar on it.
Yeah.

471
00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:54,160
Yeah, for sure.
So we didn't really talk or text

472
00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:59,080
or anything for quite some time,
but recently he did get back in

473
00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:00,800
touch.
So we've texted a little bit,

474
00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:03,720
not a ton.
No plans at the moment to see

475
00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:07,440
him, but I don't know.
This this guy?

476
00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:11,720
But Claire, I know I should
just, like, probably block his

477
00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:14,280
number.
But here's the thing.

478
00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:17,560
When you, like, go on dates and
they're disappointing or you do

479
00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:20,840
all these talking stages and
they're boring and disappointing

480
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:22,160
and exhausting.
Yeah.

481
00:26:22,360 --> 00:26:26,440
And then Mr. Levin texts and
you're like, well, I mean, I

482
00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:30,360
know what this is like.
I know the pluses and minuses,

483
00:26:30,360 --> 00:26:32,760
but also I'm horny.
Yes.

484
00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:37,440
And.
Also dude is hot.

485
00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:40,240
Right.
And I know at least fun and fun.

486
00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:41,960
I know.
Oh my God.

487
00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:43,840
See, that's the thing I know.
Like at least.

488
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:46,760
Yeah, you know, it's sexy times.
I'm not going to be

489
00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:47,760
disappointed.
No.

490
00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:49,200
Yeah.
Here's a man that knows how to

491
00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:50,920
use his tongue and everything
else right.

492
00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:52,040
He's.
All the things.

493
00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:55,080
Gifted in every physical way,
shall we say.

494
00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:59,240
And he knows what to do.
So it's like, you know, it's

495
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:01,240
hard not to keep going back to
that well.

496
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:04,320
You know I love and hate it for.
You.

497
00:27:04,360 --> 00:27:09,120
I know he.
Really is a very fine specimen

498
00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:11,720
and.
It's not just like the physical,

499
00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:13,880
he also has a lot of good
qualities.

500
00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:16,040
So like you said, he's fun, he's
funny.

501
00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:18,400
Yep, he can be extremely
charming.

502
00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:21,800
So much.
Yeah, he's whip smart.

503
00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:24,600
So like you can have an actual
conversation.

504
00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:26,560
Like he's hot.
Oh my God, it's so hot.

505
00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:29,000
Like he reads a lot.
Like we have many, we have the

506
00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:29,920
same books.
Oh.

507
00:27:30,120 --> 00:27:34,760
My God.
Yeah, like he he reads more

508
00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:38,080
books than I do.
Like he is so smart, Yeah.

509
00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:41,240
And so interesting and like we
have great conversations, but

510
00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:44,840
then, you know, there's this
other very avoidant side as

511
00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:47,840
well.
Yes, and and sometimes angry and

512
00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:50,480
I don't exactly know why or like
what to do about it.

513
00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:54,160
So you know, it's it is what it
is, so.

514
00:27:54,720 --> 00:27:58,480
Well, I am probably a very bad
friend in that I'm like.

515
00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:00,680
You're like, get it.
Jump on that.

516
00:28:02,360 --> 00:28:07,480
But you know, as the caveat to
that is we know exactly we, we

517
00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:09,520
don't have expectations.
We're not like you're going to

518
00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:12,200
marry this man.
Right, like we, we're like, this

519
00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:14,440
is what it is.
It's a realistic set of

520
00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:17,040
expectations with him.
We know what we're getting here,

521
00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:19,840
right?
So why not just?

522
00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:23,560
Why not?
Cuz as you say, like it's not

523
00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:26,880
like you go out on a date and
you're like, gosh, that was,

524
00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:29,720
that was like deeply
intellectually stimulating.

525
00:28:29,720 --> 00:28:31,560
Like I'm not even talking about
the other stuff.

526
00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:34,360
Right.
Like why does he have to have it

527
00:28:34,360 --> 00:28:39,880
all?
Like I'm so sad and mad about

528
00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:43,080
this for you.
Like could could we just find

529
00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:45,400
like an ick point?
Because you know, like when you

530
00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:47,560
find the ick and you can't
really get past it, like.

531
00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:49,440
Yeah, there doesn't seem to be
1.

532
00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:53,760
It's not there.
It's it's so like, what is that

533
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:55,880
level of chemistry?
I even had that with Mr.

534
00:28:55,880 --> 00:28:58,920
Clydesdale a bit where I was
trying to be icked out and I

535
00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:01,800
couldn't.
Quite do it same exactly same

536
00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:05,760
like I've tried to convince my.
Body like yes, we don't like

537
00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:07,760
this.
You know what it's like, Claire?

538
00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:09,760
It's like, have you ever?
I mean, most.

539
00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:14,080
Most, most cats get high on
catnip.

540
00:29:14,120 --> 00:29:16,680
Not all of them do.
But like, you've seen a cat

541
00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:19,560
where it's like rubbing its head
and all its body, like on

542
00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:20,720
catnip.
This is me.

543
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:23,120
This is literally me.
It just short.

544
00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:25,840
Seriously.
It short circuits everything.

545
00:29:25,920 --> 00:29:26,600
Yeah.
And.

546
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:33,000
You know, it's so real, which is
probably why I encourage rather

547
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:35,440
than discourage you.
I have to say, though, like if I

548
00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:40,560
ever like if it was ever to a
point where it was getting like,

549
00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:44,160
I'm not saying it doesn't, you
know, make you upset sometimes

550
00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:47,920
or sad or, but you know, if it
was really sort of emotionally

551
00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:51,440
crippling or, you know.
I'm still living my life and I

552
00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:54,080
think you can see that I'm not.
I'm not crippled.

553
00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:56,880
Exactly.
And so that's where I'm like,

554
00:29:56,960 --> 00:29:59,200
well, why would you not?
Exactly.

555
00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:02,080
It's sort of like better the
devil you know, kind of

556
00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:04,280
rational.
Or better something than nothing

557
00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:06,040
sometimes, right?
Right.

558
00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:08,400
Otherwise you're going to turn
into me who's like.

559
00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:11,560
Stop.
No, but like where?

560
00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:16,000
I'm just like, I, I don't know.
I don't know how to do this

561
00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:19,320
anymore.
Like it's been 84 years.

562
00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:22,440
Yeah.
So, yeah.

563
00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:25,800
OK.
Watch this piece with Mr. 11.

564
00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:27,280
Yeah, I guess so.
Wow.

565
00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:30,680
Yes, OK.
Who else do we need to to follow

566
00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:35,080
up on?
I think Mr. High Rise, Mr.

567
00:30:35,080 --> 00:30:37,720
Tennis Guy.
Oh yeah, OK, so Mr. High Rise, I

568
00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:40,680
have not heard from again.
So no updates there ever since

569
00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:45,120
that gigantic meltdown over tax
that was like, it was so

570
00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:48,760
bizarre, so weird.
Like it just none of it actually

571
00:30:48,760 --> 00:30:50,400
made.
Like it wasn't coherent.

572
00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:52,280
Like none of it actually made
sense at all.

573
00:30:52,680 --> 00:30:56,000
And it wasn't even like you got
to point where he was like, like

574
00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:57,560
even being a jerk.
It was just.

575
00:30:58,200 --> 00:31:00,560
Yeah, it wasn't that at all.
Like it wasn't angry, it was

576
00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:02,640
just bizarre.
So.

577
00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:03,360
Bizarre.
Yeah.

578
00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:06,520
Like I really thought he was
like on a substance because

579
00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:08,720
nothing he was saying actually,
like, made sense.

580
00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:11,520
So.
It kind of adds up as the only

581
00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:15,280
rationale because I know people
can be avoiding or say weird

582
00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:18,360
shit sometimes because they
don't want to, you know, say,

583
00:31:18,360 --> 00:31:22,120
oh, it's not a match or but like
you just had this fantastic time

584
00:31:22,120 --> 00:31:26,560
together and then you got I'm
sick and then you got drivel.

585
00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:28,600
It right, like it was doesn't
even avoid it.

586
00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:30,440
He wasn't avoiding like talking
to me.

587
00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:32,960
He was just saying things that
like literally made no sense in

588
00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:35,200
this world, yes.
So that was weird.

589
00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:37,480
Anyway, so whatever, that's
over.

590
00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:40,320
OK, goodbye Mr. Hi Rise.
I did see him on the apps.

591
00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:43,160
OK, well, great.
Great to know he's he's still

592
00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:46,480
out there doing his thing.
He's up and at them, but yeah.

593
00:31:46,800 --> 00:31:49,160
Back in his manic phase, maybe.
I mean, there's something

594
00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:51,440
doesn't mean he's engaging.
I'm sure people all the time are

595
00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:54,480
like, well, people all the time.
I don't know who these people

596
00:31:54,480 --> 00:31:57,320
would be.
I am terrible at checking in on

597
00:31:57,320 --> 00:31:58,720
the apps.
Oh yeah, me too.

598
00:31:58,720 --> 00:32:00,600
It could run for years.
And I would forget.

599
00:32:00,600 --> 00:32:04,160
Yeah, same.
So like, I'm sorry if I didn't

600
00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:06,920
reply, but it's it's not because
I'm being a Dick.

601
00:32:06,920 --> 00:32:09,360
I just, I'm absent minded.
Yeah, same.

602
00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:10,480
Yeah.
Oh.

603
00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:12,440
OK, well, OK.
Well, we wish.

604
00:32:12,480 --> 00:32:15,080
You well, Mr. High Rise.
Yeah, I mean, no hard feelings.

605
00:32:15,080 --> 00:32:16,720
I just don't understand what
happened.

606
00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:18,600
You're just like deeply
confused.

607
00:32:19,080 --> 00:32:22,200
You're like, OK, OK, cool,
moving on.

608
00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:26,720
I hope you're OK.
Like, wow, yeah.

609
00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:30,600
Well, Mr. Tennis.
Guy yeah, I mean, I think we

610
00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:33,520
mostly wrap that up.
So he we had two dates.

611
00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:36,160
I think that the last one I told
you about like I had all the

612
00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:38,920
chemistry with the girlies at
the table next door.

613
00:32:39,400 --> 00:32:44,000
Not so much for him, but I I did
actually see his picture posted

614
00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:47,200
on the Facebook group the are we
dating the same guy?

615
00:32:47,360 --> 00:32:49,440
Right?
Like somebody posted the picture

616
00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:52,960
and was like, hey, NET and I
actually responded and so did

617
00:32:52,960 --> 00:32:54,480
another woman.
And we both said the same thing,

618
00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:56,440
which is like, hey, like it
wasn't a match.

619
00:32:56,440 --> 00:32:58,960
Like there wasn't chemistry, but
like he was kind and he was

620
00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:01,240
respectful.
So I think it's nice to know

621
00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:03,840
that at least, like, you know,
there are guys out there.

622
00:33:03,840 --> 00:33:05,640
It's just, yes, we just weren't
a match.

623
00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:07,040
That's all.
It's just not a match.

624
00:33:07,040 --> 00:33:10,440
Yeah, that actually reminds me
of something I'd blocked from my

625
00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:14,400
mind.
But I had a a date with a guy, I

626
00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:17,280
have no idea, sometime in the
recent ish past.

627
00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:19,960
And we just went for coffee.
It was fine.

628
00:33:20,440 --> 00:33:25,040
It was just fine.
And you know, after he was like,

629
00:33:25,040 --> 00:33:26,520
would you like to see each other
again?

630
00:33:26,520 --> 00:33:28,840
And I was just like, you know, I
just, I don't think it's a match

631
00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:31,200
for me, but thank you.
It was lovely.

632
00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:33,160
And he was like, cool, thanks
for letting me know.

633
00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:35,160
And yeah, it was just nice.
I like that.

634
00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:37,480
Just pleasant adult.
Adult.

635
00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:39,680
Grown up.
But I mean, sometimes, honestly,

636
00:33:39,680 --> 00:33:42,920
I hesitate to say that because
sometimes the reaction is super

637
00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:44,120
angry.
You don't know what you're

638
00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:45,200
gonna.
You don't?

639
00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:47,560
Yeah.
I literally had to sit with my

640
00:33:47,560 --> 00:33:52,720
therapist one day to write a
text to tell somebody that I had

641
00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:56,280
a fine time with them at coffee.
But I it just, it just wasn't a

642
00:33:56,280 --> 00:33:58,000
match for me.
Like there was nothing wrong

643
00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:01,280
with them.
I just, it's just sometimes not

644
00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:03,680
a match.
But I had so much anxiety over

645
00:34:03,680 --> 00:34:07,360
it because they kept reaching
out and I was like, oh, I do.

646
00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:10,800
But what if they?
And she was like Claire, you can

647
00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:12,960
say.
And I was like but I'm so

648
00:34:12,960 --> 00:34:15,600
scared.
Yeah, well, I think there's two

649
00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:18,280
things going on there.
Like #1 we get scared of the

650
00:34:18,280 --> 00:34:21,320
reaction we're gonna get because
sometimes it's like, raging,

651
00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:24,679
Yeah.
And #2 I think like, as women

652
00:34:24,679 --> 00:34:27,239
were socialized to be people
pleasers and it's a hard habit

653
00:34:27,239 --> 00:34:29,800
to break.
It's a very hard habit to break,

654
00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:34,600
like to say no, yeah and yeah.
And then you're suddenly on your

655
00:34:34,600 --> 00:34:35,920
third date going.
Why?

656
00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:38,080
Why?
Why did I agree to 1/3 date?

657
00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:41,040
I didn't want to go on the
second one and here I am.

658
00:34:41,320 --> 00:34:44,040
Oh, my gosh, I I did do that a
couple of months ago on the

659
00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:46,600
first date.
I could, I mean, within the

660
00:34:46,600 --> 00:34:49,080
first couple of minutes.
Isaac, Yeah, this isn't going to

661
00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:52,239
be a match.
And I happened to mention like,

662
00:34:52,239 --> 00:34:56,639
something that I do sometimes.
And they were like, oh, can I

663
00:34:56,639 --> 00:34:58,440
join you?
And I was like, yes.

664
00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:02,200
Sure.
OK, and it was really awkward

665
00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:06,680
and I should have just said.
Maybe or yeah, we'll see or

666
00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:08,960
something.
But you do get like worried

667
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:10,440
sometimes.
Yes, you're like, you don't

668
00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:14,000
quite know.
Lose or shit like, yeah, well

669
00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:17,320
thank you Mr. Tennis.
For yeah, for showing that not

670
00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:19,920
everybody is like that.
Yeah, yeah, it's so.

671
00:35:20,240 --> 00:35:22,160
Nice to just wrap it up like
that.

672
00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:24,480
Yeah.
And then, you know, maybe you

673
00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:27,760
bump into them again and, and
you're like a pleasant man.

674
00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:29,400
Totally cordial.
Yeah.

675
00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:31,400
You're like, wish you all the
best, like hope things are going

676
00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:32,480
well.
I really do.

677
00:35:32,640 --> 00:35:35,400
Yeah.
Yeah, well, all right.

678
00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:37,920
Well, should we get into some
not so pleasant stories?

679
00:35:39,080 --> 00:35:40,760
OK.
We'll dive a little deeper.

680
00:35:40,760 --> 00:35:43,440
Here all right, let's do it.
So I've got one to share with

681
00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:45,600
you.
So this is a person I matched

682
00:35:45,600 --> 00:35:49,040
with several months ago.
OK, quite quite a while ago

683
00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:52,640
yeah.
And this person let's call him

684
00:35:52,680 --> 00:35:57,440
Andrew.
OK, so Andrew, I he like super

685
00:35:57,440 --> 00:36:00,080
liked me or whatever on the
apps, you know, like you can do

686
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:02,080
the Super, like the extra 1,
right.

687
00:36:03,040 --> 00:36:05,880
And I looked at his profile
picture, first picture clearly

688
00:36:05,880 --> 00:36:07,960
AI.
Oh, you know which that's that's

689
00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:09,680
a red flag.
I don't like it.

690
00:36:09,720 --> 00:36:12,080
Yeah.
And then his subsequent pictures

691
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:14,840
clearly were not AI.
He was much less attractive, of

692
00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:18,440
course, in the normal pictures
than he was in the AI.

693
00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:21,400
And normally with AII would just
swipe left.

694
00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:25,760
But his bio was well written.
It was kind of charming.

695
00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:26,800
It was cute.
Yeah.

696
00:36:27,120 --> 00:36:31,160
He had many similar interests.
Also has a PhD.

697
00:36:31,360 --> 00:36:32,960
Yeah.
And I was like, I all right,

698
00:36:33,040 --> 00:36:35,960
maybe I'll just match and talk
to him for a little bit and see,

699
00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:38,760
because sometimes you're like,
it's not totally there for me,

700
00:36:38,760 --> 00:36:40,560
but who knows?
Because it's hard to tell.

701
00:36:40,920 --> 00:36:43,000
It's hard to tell from a bio
sometimes, right?

702
00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:45,200
So I'm like, OK, I'll just at
least have a conversation.

703
00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:48,000
So we matched.
He had like a little, you know,

704
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:51,120
on Bumble, like they can set an
opening move question, like what

705
00:36:51,120 --> 00:36:53,400
are your favorite activities?
And I said something about bar

706
00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:56,720
game or like whatever.
And then he said, hey, I see

707
00:36:56,720 --> 00:37:00,440
that you're from your hometown.
And I was in an adjacent city

708
00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:02,120
recently.
And I said, oh, that's a

709
00:37:02,120 --> 00:37:04,960
beautiful little town.
And he's like, I have a picture

710
00:37:04,960 --> 00:37:06,320
from there.
Do you think you could guess

711
00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:08,720
where it is?
And I said, probably not.

712
00:37:08,720 --> 00:37:11,600
I haven't lived there in a
really long time, so.

713
00:37:11,720 --> 00:37:13,760
And I'm sure it's changed a lot.
So new.

714
00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:15,880
Buildings.
So no, I probably can't, like,

715
00:37:15,880 --> 00:37:19,680
play that game.
And he was like, oh, OK, He's

716
00:37:19,680 --> 00:37:22,760
like, do you want to text off
the app and have a phone call?

717
00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:24,480
And I was like, that seems a
little soon.

718
00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:26,840
Like we exchanged about 3
messages.

719
00:37:27,040 --> 00:37:28,720
Three.
Yeah, at this point.

720
00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:32,440
Damn.
And before I answered, he said,

721
00:37:32,440 --> 00:37:34,680
first, can you solve this
Riddle?

722
00:37:34,840 --> 00:37:36,200
OK, first.
Wait.

723
00:37:37,160 --> 00:37:40,920
First, yeah, I mean, I think I
hadn't responded for an hour or

724
00:37:40,920 --> 00:37:42,160
something like that.
He's like for.

725
00:37:42,240 --> 00:37:44,280
A whole.
Hour solve this Riddle.

726
00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:46,800
OK.
And so then he texts this with

727
00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:51,640
the 1st letter of each word
capitalized Memory needs every

728
00:37:51,640 --> 00:37:55,800
method of noting important
concepts simply OK, so that's

729
00:37:55,800 --> 00:37:57,600
word solid.
But if you look at it and he's

730
00:37:57,600 --> 00:38:00,440
capitalized the letters, you're
like, well, the first letter of

731
00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:03,600
each word reads mnemonic.
So instantly I said mnemonic.

732
00:38:03,600 --> 00:38:07,240
That's easy, simple, right?
Like this is a third grade

733
00:38:07,240 --> 00:38:07,840
problem.
Did.

734
00:38:07,960 --> 00:38:10,160
Did.
Did that mean you passed the

735
00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:12,400
test?
Well, I asked that in a like

736
00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:14,880
just a second and I was like,
well, we could potentially have

737
00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:17,640
a call like later this week or
whatever, but I've got a bunch

738
00:38:17,640 --> 00:38:19,120
of plans, so we'll just have to
work around it.

739
00:38:19,960 --> 00:38:25,120
And he said, send me your
number, I'll call you on Sunday.

740
00:38:25,840 --> 00:38:29,720
I was like, I'm kind of busy
Sunday already.

741
00:38:29,720 --> 00:38:34,080
Like also send me your number
like a demand.

742
00:38:34,400 --> 00:38:38,640
On a on a specified time after
you had quite clearly said like

743
00:38:39,240 --> 00:38:42,320
no, would you be free?
Would right?

744
00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:45,240
Would that work for you?
Please May I have your number?

745
00:38:45,240 --> 00:38:47,000
That's right.
Here's sometimes that might work

746
00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:48,480
for me.
Is there like something like

747
00:38:48,480 --> 00:38:49,680
that?
Just like a demand?

748
00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:51,720
Yes.
And so then I said, hey, is that

749
00:38:51,720 --> 00:38:53,480
a test women have to pass to
date you?

750
00:38:53,560 --> 00:38:55,720
It's certainly original.
Lols.

751
00:38:55,880 --> 00:38:58,960
Yeah.
And then he responded with

752
00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:03,000
another of the same thing, like
a thing where each first letter

753
00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:07,760
is capitalized.
And this one was a spoiler for

754
00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:09,320
the spelling bee pangram that
day.

755
00:39:09,320 --> 00:39:11,760
Like I put in my bio that I do
spelling bee everyday.

756
00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:14,040
Oh my.
God, I know.

757
00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:16,400
I'm like, OK, so first of all,
you're a Dick.

758
00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:18,160
Yeah, you're trying.
To ruin this for me.

759
00:39:18,200 --> 00:39:21,280
Totally right.
Like I mean this kind of like

760
00:39:21,280 --> 00:39:24,640
simple like thing like that's an
insult to anyone who's

761
00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:26,920
intelligent, right?
Like I think what is it called

762
00:39:26,920 --> 00:39:29,560
an acrostic where you, like,
capitalize the first letter?

763
00:39:29,600 --> 00:39:30,720
Yeah, I thought that was the
word.

764
00:39:31,120 --> 00:39:33,560
Like, it's a third grade
acrostic, right?

765
00:39:33,560 --> 00:39:35,320
It's not.
Right.

766
00:39:35,320 --> 00:39:39,040
So it's already like, insulting.
But even like the the choice of

767
00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:42,360
word that he, it's just all
giving me the ick.

768
00:39:42,440 --> 00:39:45,160
Yeah, definitely.
So like I responded and I was

769
00:39:45,160 --> 00:39:47,400
like, if I hadn't already done
it today, I would be pretty mad

770
00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:50,720
at you for spoiling.
And he like wrote, he said

771
00:39:50,720 --> 00:39:52,360
something kind of like
irritating.

772
00:39:52,840 --> 00:39:55,200
And then basically I didn't
answer for like a day and a half

773
00:39:55,240 --> 00:39:58,600
because I was busy.
I didn't give him my number

774
00:39:58,600 --> 00:40:02,440
because like he hadn't asked me.
He just told me to give him his

775
00:40:02,440 --> 00:40:06,200
number, whatever.
So after a day and 1/2 right he

776
00:40:06,200 --> 00:40:07,680
sends me a message.
Oh.

777
00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:13,160
God, that says you are not up to
my standards to date.

778
00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:19,800
But if you would like to go have
a beer as a friend, I would be

779
00:40:19,800 --> 00:40:22,800
open to that.
I could be persuaded to do that.

780
00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:29,360
Wow, Yeah.
Oh my God, so you could.

781
00:40:29,360 --> 00:40:32,480
So you had to beg for a friend?
Beer.

782
00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:36,040
Well, first, potentially first,
I had to pass the stupidest

783
00:40:36,040 --> 00:40:38,760
intelligence test of all time,
right?

784
00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:42,440
And then the part I failed was I
didn't send my number when

785
00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:45,040
demanded after three messages,
Right.

786
00:40:45,160 --> 00:40:48,200
Nor was I available the time he
said he wanted to call me.

787
00:40:48,640 --> 00:40:52,200
Yeah.
And so then you get like, you're

788
00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:54,920
not up to my standards.
I was like, excuse me, You're

789
00:40:54,920 --> 00:40:56,800
not up to my standards.
Which is.

790
00:40:56,920 --> 00:40:59,240
Why you haven't heard from me in
a day and a half?

791
00:40:59,240 --> 00:41:00,920
Because, funnily enough, I
wasn't.

792
00:41:01,200 --> 00:41:04,000
Hooked, right?
Because, like, at first I was

793
00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:05,480
curious and then I was pissed
off.

794
00:41:05,480 --> 00:41:08,160
Yeah, yeah.
Because that line can be crossed

795
00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:11,760
very quickly.
And the whole idea of testing

796
00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:15,640
somebody is gross.
And, you know, just coming in

797
00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:19,320
with that level of arrogance.
Like what else would you even

798
00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:21,680
call?
It Oh yeah, like he's such a

799
00:41:21,680 --> 00:41:23,640
prick.
Oh, so gross.

800
00:41:23,640 --> 00:41:28,800
Like Major Ick and then yeah,
this and you know, I'm I'm glad

801
00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:33,880
forward slash sad that we are
getting to this point of like,

802
00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:40,960
you know, I just that they have
this idea of how and when you

803
00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:44,000
should respond.
And if you don't, then they have

804
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:47,240
to get petty and insulting.
Well, that's the thing.

805
00:41:47,240 --> 00:41:49,440
And it's like, you know what?
You actually didn't have to

806
00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:51,320
insult me.
If I'm not responding quickly

807
00:41:51,320 --> 00:41:53,800
enough to you or not giving my
number as fast as you want,

808
00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:56,440
you're totally free to just
unmatch and move on.

809
00:41:56,440 --> 00:41:57,640
You don't even have to say
anything.

810
00:41:57,720 --> 00:41:59,480
You don't have to say anything.
Yeah.

811
00:41:59,760 --> 00:42:04,080
Or you could also say, oh hey, I
I haven't heard from you.

812
00:42:04,080 --> 00:42:08,520
Are are you A OK and and B it
made me a little sad because I

813
00:42:08,520 --> 00:42:09,880
like you.
Yeah.

814
00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:12,880
That's that's also an option.
Or you could even be like, hey,

815
00:42:13,480 --> 00:42:15,760
I know we matched, but are you
actually interested in going on

816
00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:17,240
a date?
Yeah, just keep it very.

817
00:42:17,240 --> 00:42:19,280
Yeah, just methodical,
professional, Yeah.

818
00:42:19,480 --> 00:42:21,760
Whatever.
Yeah, Yeah.

819
00:42:22,240 --> 00:42:24,440
Well, yeah.
So anyway, that was that.

820
00:42:24,920 --> 00:42:28,920
I just realized that we have not
heard an update on another

821
00:42:28,920 --> 00:42:30,880
person that you dated recently
like.

822
00:42:32,400 --> 00:42:35,520
I'm all which one to make me
sound like I have a great list,

823
00:42:35,520 --> 00:42:37,680
but I I think I know who you're
very.

824
00:42:37,720 --> 00:42:40,200
Yeah, I think so.
Like, you went on a couple of

825
00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:43,840
dates, am I right?
And then is this the guy who

826
00:42:43,840 --> 00:42:45,600
works in the medical profession?
Oh.

827
00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:49,480
Yes, this is Mr. Nurseman.
OK, so we actually only had one

828
00:42:49,480 --> 00:42:50,800
date.
Oh, it was just one.

829
00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:51,800
Yes.
Oh, that's right.

830
00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:55,640
OK.
It felt like more, but not.

831
00:42:55,640 --> 00:42:58,080
For good.
It felt like an eternity.

832
00:42:58,320 --> 00:43:00,640
I felt like we were married for
10 years.

833
00:43:01,040 --> 00:43:05,560
Well, it actually really kind of
aligns in many ways with the

834
00:43:05,560 --> 00:43:10,920
story that you just shared
because I, it was so

835
00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:15,920
interesting.
Like we matched and he quite

836
00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:18,720
quickly was like, do you want to
get a beer on Friday?

837
00:43:18,720 --> 00:43:22,440
And I was like, oh, I'd love to
because sometimes it's nice if

838
00:43:22,440 --> 00:43:25,720
they do ask you quickly because,
you know, a lot of people don't.

839
00:43:25,840 --> 00:43:27,520
Yeah.
And I said that would be great,

840
00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:30,400
but I'm actually out of time on
like a work trip.

841
00:43:30,720 --> 00:43:35,960
And so I I said to show
enthusiasm, but I'd love to next

842
00:43:35,960 --> 00:43:37,320
Friday.
Nice.

843
00:43:37,360 --> 00:43:40,800
And I instant tone change.
Oh, OK.

844
00:43:41,880 --> 00:43:45,560
And I'm like, wow, I'm sorry, I
have a job and didn't align it

845
00:43:45,560 --> 00:43:47,800
with your schedule of a stranger
that.

846
00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:51,320
I mean, that's kind of crazy,
especially since you proposed an

847
00:43:51,320 --> 00:43:53,400
alternate date.
Like I can't see it.

848
00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:55,360
It's it might be a little
disappointing if you're like,

849
00:43:55,360 --> 00:43:57,920
are you free Friday?
No like right, But you were like

850
00:43:57,920 --> 00:43:59,680
no, but I would love to this
day.

851
00:43:59,760 --> 00:44:00,720
And here's.
Right.

852
00:44:00,720 --> 00:44:04,720
Yeah, exactly.
I'm in another state too like I

853
00:44:04,720 --> 00:44:07,120
can't manage.
It you're not like #10 on my

854
00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:08,640
list of like mentally like you
didn't.

855
00:44:08,720 --> 00:44:10,880
It wasn't something like that.
Like it's so weird.

856
00:44:10,880 --> 00:44:13,680
No and like and you could just
feel the vibe.

857
00:44:14,120 --> 00:44:17,800
Like, yeah, totally.
Which God, like every time I'm

858
00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:22,600
like Claire, please notice that.
And maybe just don't like go on

859
00:44:22,600 --> 00:44:25,280
a date that that would be
really, really great.

860
00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:31,800
So, so, yeah, we got past that.
We text quite often because, you

861
00:44:31,800 --> 00:44:34,480
know, it is about a week and a
half then before we can meet up.

862
00:44:35,120 --> 00:44:39,200
And it's it's it's decently
pleasant, shall we say.

863
00:44:39,360 --> 00:44:43,240
Like it's just fine.
But I kind of start to notice

864
00:44:43,240 --> 00:44:48,960
that if I, you know, like if if
you text me and you were like,

865
00:44:49,720 --> 00:44:52,800
oh, God, I didn't sleep well
last night, I would go, oh,

866
00:44:52,800 --> 00:44:54,800
what's on?
What's what's going on?

867
00:44:54,800 --> 00:44:56,120
Like, are you OK?
Yeah.

868
00:44:56,120 --> 00:44:58,960
Like, was it noisy?
Was it like what?

869
00:44:58,960 --> 00:45:01,440
Are you stressed?
Is there something I can do for

870
00:45:01,440 --> 00:45:02,840
you?
Do you want to talk about

871
00:45:02,840 --> 00:45:03,840
something?
Yes.

872
00:45:03,840 --> 00:45:05,560
Yeah.
Like just like a clarifying

873
00:45:05,560 --> 00:45:07,800
question.
And so I noticed that I would

874
00:45:07,800 --> 00:45:11,120
like, you know, I tried to draw
on a conversation and, and be

875
00:45:11,120 --> 00:45:15,080
like, oh, you know, I just
mentioned maybe an activity I

876
00:45:15,080 --> 00:45:19,560
was doing or something good I
was eating and you know, cuz I

877
00:45:19,560 --> 00:45:25,360
was on a trip somewhere else.
And all right, you know, how are

878
00:45:25,360 --> 00:45:27,680
you with maybe a hopefully, how
are you back?

879
00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:31,160
And I noticed that it would just
go to completely unrelated

880
00:45:31,160 --> 00:45:34,400
topics and no questions it.
Was the no question thing.

881
00:45:34,400 --> 00:45:38,160
This kills me.
Or or do follow up to like, you

882
00:45:38,160 --> 00:45:42,080
know, oh, I'm busy this week.
I have two huge events.

883
00:45:42,360 --> 00:45:44,920
And then he would be like, I
just bought a new ramp for my

884
00:45:44,920 --> 00:45:48,280
motorcycle and you're like,
yeah, it literally went like

885
00:45:48,280 --> 00:45:50,360
that.
So non sequitur.

886
00:45:50,400 --> 00:45:54,080
Yeah.
So we we finally get this this

887
00:45:54,160 --> 00:46:00,280
date and it's pleasant.
I think that's how I returned

888
00:46:00,280 --> 00:46:02,560
and reported to you.
Yeah, I remember that.

889
00:46:02,560 --> 00:46:04,480
And I was like, well, pleasant
is a start.

890
00:46:04,480 --> 00:46:06,320
Pleasant is maybe worth a second
date.

891
00:46:06,360 --> 00:46:08,640
And I was I was committed to a
second.

892
00:46:08,720 --> 00:46:09,960
Date.
Yeah, You didn't seem completely

893
00:46:09,960 --> 00:46:12,240
grossed out, so yeah.
The.

894
00:46:12,600 --> 00:46:15,480
Lips like this.
Thing happened OK, but I was

895
00:46:15,480 --> 00:46:17,200
still open.
And I feel like you could work

896
00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:18,120
through that.
You could.

897
00:46:18,120 --> 00:46:20,000
Yeah, like that's, that's not a
deal breaker.

898
00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:21,960
We all have preferences, so it's
fine.

899
00:46:22,400 --> 00:46:27,440
And so, yeah, it, so we had that
date very pleasant.

900
00:46:27,440 --> 00:46:30,080
It was a beautiful evening.
We sat in a nice sort of rooftop

901
00:46:30,080 --> 00:46:32,080
bar and, and very, very
pleasant.

902
00:46:32,080 --> 00:46:33,760
And he was like, I'd love to see
you again.

903
00:46:33,760 --> 00:46:37,120
I was like, cool.
I, I, I would like a second

904
00:46:37,120 --> 00:46:42,640
date, please also.
And again, we ran into, well,

905
00:46:42,640 --> 00:46:46,080
can you do it like tomorrow?
And I was like, no, like, as you

906
00:46:46,080 --> 00:46:49,200
know, Mel, the last couple of
weeks have been like a little

907
00:46:49,200 --> 00:46:53,480
crazy bonkers, but like, this is
an unusual time.

908
00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:56,600
Yeah, this isn't.
Yeah, typically that's right.

909
00:46:56,640 --> 00:46:59,120
It's for a short period.
And so I tried to say, look, I

910
00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:02,680
can understand how this might
feel a little off putting and

911
00:47:03,080 --> 00:47:07,400
I'm not making excuses, but like
this week has this, this and

912
00:47:07,400 --> 00:47:09,320
this.
And like I, I would love to see

913
00:47:09,320 --> 00:47:13,520
you again.
Let's maybe grab a a quick R on

914
00:47:13,520 --> 00:47:15,680
a Wednesday evening.
I mean, so kind like you're

915
00:47:15,680 --> 00:47:17,840
carving out some time for him.
You're like, look, everything's

916
00:47:17,840 --> 00:47:19,800
insane right now, but I would
like to see you.

917
00:47:19,800 --> 00:47:21,440
So like, here is the time I
could meet.

918
00:47:21,920 --> 00:47:24,640
That sounds lovely.
And I like I can understand how

919
00:47:24,640 --> 00:47:27,280
it might be off putting to be
like I have a small window at

920
00:47:27,280 --> 00:47:30,360
6:35 PM.
I mean, I kind of get it.

921
00:47:30,360 --> 00:47:32,480
But you also explained, look,
it's just this week.

922
00:47:32,480 --> 00:47:34,120
This isn't my normal life,
right?

923
00:47:34,120 --> 00:47:35,560
Like, come on.
Yeah.

924
00:47:36,320 --> 00:47:40,000
We got to Wednesday and I feel,
I like, I felt like I'd been

925
00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:43,880
beaten, like I was so tired.
I had a big event the next day

926
00:47:43,880 --> 00:47:45,600
and had two big events the next
day.

927
00:47:45,920 --> 00:47:48,200
And I was like, look, I, I'm so
bummed.

928
00:47:48,200 --> 00:47:51,600
I'd love to see you.
Which wasn't necessarily true,

929
00:47:51,600 --> 00:47:54,360
but I was trying to be kind.
And I was like, you know, could

930
00:47:54,360 --> 00:47:57,280
we shift it to the weekend and,
and maybe we could grab dinner?

931
00:47:57,560 --> 00:48:00,760
And he was like, yeah, OK, it's
fine.

932
00:48:00,760 --> 00:48:04,160
And I was like, you know, thank
you for being understanding.

933
00:48:04,160 --> 00:48:06,920
And I was like, oh, I just
picked our our guest up from the

934
00:48:06,920 --> 00:48:09,000
airport hoping that he'd be
like, who?

935
00:48:09,240 --> 00:48:12,080
And I even thought at the back
of my mind, maybe I should

936
00:48:12,080 --> 00:48:14,600
invite him to the event or
something.

937
00:48:14,640 --> 00:48:15,800
Oh, no.
Not after one day.

938
00:48:15,880 --> 00:48:17,920
Yeah.
No, I'm glad you did not.

939
00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:19,480
Yeah.
So this is good because

940
00:48:19,480 --> 00:48:21,440
sometimes I like judgment and
so.

941
00:48:23,040 --> 00:48:27,840
You're, I mean maybe, but I feel
like you always are on the side

942
00:48:27,840 --> 00:48:30,560
of giving people too much grace
and being too client.

943
00:48:30,920 --> 00:48:34,720
I'm going to reduce that with
men, which is fair.

944
00:48:34,800 --> 00:48:38,400
Not with my girlies, just just
with the Mens but I'm making

945
00:48:38,400 --> 00:48:40,680
this too long.
But anyway, he he did not and

946
00:48:40,680 --> 00:48:44,080
proceeded with ice.
I bought 2 bar stools today on

947
00:48:44,080 --> 00:48:46,800
Facebook marketplace and I was
like I'm so happy for you.

948
00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:49,680
Like I was trying to be like,
wow.

949
00:48:49,680 --> 00:48:53,040
Big news, everyone.
Hey, okay, yeah, you just saw

950
00:48:53,080 --> 00:48:55,280
the presses.
Ignored everything I said but

951
00:48:55,280 --> 00:48:57,800
it's it's it's all good so
weird.

952
00:48:57,920 --> 00:49:01,480
Yeah, it was great.
So Friday morning comes and he

953
00:49:01,480 --> 00:49:05,040
texts me and says going like the
hammers again question mark.

954
00:49:05,040 --> 00:49:08,240
And I was like oh, it's finally
slow and dying had early drop

955
00:49:08,240 --> 00:49:11,480
off at the airport and then he
said oh nice.

956
00:49:12,440 --> 00:49:14,920
I don't know if 8 is too late
for dinner for you.

957
00:49:15,040 --> 00:49:19,080
And I said today question mark
and he said no tonight, which?

958
00:49:19,720 --> 00:49:22,960
Wait, tonight is part of today,
Sir, Yes.

959
00:49:22,960 --> 00:49:27,320
I'm like, you know, it's also
9:30, so I figured it wasn't one

960
00:49:27,320 --> 00:49:28,720
hour ago.
Yeah.

961
00:49:29,480 --> 00:49:32,600
And then he just said by the
time I get home and shower and

962
00:49:32,600 --> 00:49:34,560
pick you up.
Oh, wait, what?

963
00:49:34,680 --> 00:49:37,560
Which I'd never agreed to
because this was the second date

964
00:49:37,560 --> 00:49:38,400
and.
I was not.

965
00:49:38,440 --> 00:49:40,880
We're not.
Ready to give out our address?

966
00:49:40,920 --> 00:49:42,960
Yes.
And he said I'll be there at

967
00:49:42,960 --> 00:49:45,560
8:00.
And I said well, yes tonight,

968
00:49:45,600 --> 00:49:49,320
lol as we've definitely missed 8
this morning, ha ha.

969
00:49:50,320 --> 00:49:52,320
But we didn't make plans for
tonight.

970
00:49:52,400 --> 00:49:54,600
Question mark.
I thought we just said the

971
00:49:54,600 --> 00:49:57,800
weekend.
Ah, no worries, I'm pretty tired

972
00:49:57,800 --> 00:50:02,000
anyway.
Oh, I was like, OK, OK, so were

973
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:05,520
you offended at my response?
Apparently that's yeah, like

974
00:50:05,600 --> 00:50:07,760
deeply, deeply, deeply
offensive.

975
00:50:08,120 --> 00:50:12,120
And I just said, wait, what?
I was like, what?

976
00:50:12,280 --> 00:50:17,160
What just happened?
And oh sorry, I guess I took

977
00:50:17,160 --> 00:50:18,920
what you said as you weren't up
for tonight.

978
00:50:18,920 --> 00:50:21,920
And I said no I didn't say that.
I just said did we have plans?

979
00:50:21,920 --> 00:50:24,080
Like did I space it because that
could have happened.

980
00:50:24,480 --> 00:50:30,040
Anyway it it was so over
laboured and he sent me a bullet

981
00:50:30,040 --> 00:50:32,840
point list.
Well it was numbered actually

982
00:50:32,840 --> 00:50:36,680
for my convenience.
And he said I guess if the shoe

983
00:50:36,680 --> 00:50:39,560
would have been on the other
foot my response would have been

984
00:50:39,640 --> 00:50:44,400
1.
Sure 8 is great or two, sorry I

985
00:50:44,520 --> 00:50:47,040
have other plans and didn't know
you wanted to do something

986
00:50:47,040 --> 00:50:50,040
tonight.
Or option three, I'm not

987
00:50:50,040 --> 00:50:52,640
interested because of insert
reason here.

988
00:50:52,640 --> 00:50:57,520
Holy shit so I got a blow by
blow a kind so how I should

989
00:50:57,520 --> 00:50:58,680
have?
Responded Yeah, you got

990
00:50:58,680 --> 00:50:59,960
instructions.
Yes.

991
00:51:00,080 --> 00:51:03,080
Which is crazy because you
weren't even like saying no to

992
00:51:03,080 --> 00:51:04,640
the date.
You were just trying to figure

993
00:51:04,640 --> 00:51:06,440
out like what was actually
happening.

994
00:51:06,760 --> 00:51:09,880
And I was like starting my own
like memory because I was like,

995
00:51:09,880 --> 00:51:14,160
wait, what did we plan something
which I do do you often I I.

996
00:51:14,480 --> 00:51:15,680
Will.
No, not often.

997
00:51:15,920 --> 00:51:18,800
Well, no, I'll say like even
today I was like, it's today

998
00:51:18,800 --> 00:51:20,920
right at this time, you know,
like you check in.

999
00:51:21,080 --> 00:51:23,680
Yeah, for both of us.
I think that's important because

1000
00:51:23,680 --> 00:51:25,960
I could just as easily drop the
ball.

1001
00:51:26,280 --> 00:51:29,520
I went to see a friend speak and
like if I hadn't like, you know,

1002
00:51:29,520 --> 00:51:32,360
had it in the front of my mind
when this person was like, let's

1003
00:51:32,360 --> 00:51:34,400
go get lunch.
I might have been like, Oh yeah,

1004
00:51:34,400 --> 00:51:36,240
like I'll go get lunch.
And then I halfway with three

1005
00:51:36,240 --> 00:51:38,560
whatever remembered.
Oh shit, I was supposed to like

1006
00:51:38,560 --> 00:51:41,000
be seen you so.
But because you checked in, I

1007
00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:44,280
was like, actually like, let's I
I would love to like catch up,

1008
00:51:44,280 --> 00:51:46,680
but short something shorter.
So we had coffee instead.

1009
00:51:46,680 --> 00:51:47,840
Oh, nice.
Yeah, it was very nice.

1010
00:51:47,840 --> 00:51:51,480
Cuz things slip our minds
sometimes or or we'd lose what

1011
00:51:51,480 --> 00:51:53,360
day we're on.
Oh God, if I don't put it on my

1012
00:51:53,360 --> 00:51:55,960
calendar it's like, forget about
it, it's not in my head.

1013
00:51:56,080 --> 00:51:57,600
It it's just not gonna it's just
gone.

1014
00:51:58,120 --> 00:52:02,000
So it just it went to crickets.
This is a man that texts all the

1015
00:52:02,000 --> 00:52:04,840
time.
And then then I got this text

1016
00:52:04,840 --> 00:52:08,440
cuz I said I said so that so
that's all it took, huh?

1017
00:52:09,560 --> 00:52:11,360
I said, are we minor
misunderstanding?

1018
00:52:11,360 --> 00:52:13,840
Ha ha.
And I did the crickets just

1019
00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:15,480
trying to keep it light.
Yeah.

1020
00:52:15,480 --> 00:52:18,480
And he said, honestly, the way
you handled the whole thing was

1021
00:52:18,480 --> 00:52:21,200
a major turn off for me.
Oh, was it?

1022
00:52:21,360 --> 00:52:22,680
Yeah.
I'm sorry, Sir.

1023
00:52:23,160 --> 00:52:26,320
I'm so sorry I turned you off.
It.

1024
00:52:26,520 --> 00:52:29,200
It How dare you?
I I took way too long than I

1025
00:52:29,200 --> 00:52:31,600
should have to get here, but it
reminded me of that text you

1026
00:52:31,600 --> 00:52:33,280
got.
Like you're actually not good

1027
00:52:33,280 --> 00:52:35,000
enough for me anymore.
Yeah.

1028
00:52:35,040 --> 00:52:37,160
Yeah.
And then he said, I apologize

1029
00:52:37,160 --> 00:52:39,960
multiple times, tried to off
ramp multiple times.

1030
00:52:39,960 --> 00:52:42,680
Wait, he did took accountability
for my mistake and I'm like

1031
00:52:42,680 --> 00:52:43,120
wait.
What?

1032
00:52:43,120 --> 00:52:44,320
No, he didn't do any of those
things.

1033
00:52:44,320 --> 00:52:47,880
So I just said were there texts
I didn't get?

1034
00:52:48,160 --> 00:52:51,200
Like, I don't like perfect
response, did I?

1035
00:52:51,240 --> 00:52:55,600
Did I miss something?
And and then I, I said it's so

1036
00:52:55,600 --> 00:52:58,400
disappointing the online dating
seems to always have to turn out

1037
00:52:58,400 --> 00:53:01,480
with people being so mean, like,
right, Yeah.

1038
00:53:01,600 --> 00:53:03,040
That is disappointing.
And he?

1039
00:53:03,040 --> 00:53:06,840
Said that's not been my
experience, so maybe look in the

1040
00:53:06,840 --> 00:53:08,880
mirror.
Holy shit.

1041
00:53:09,320 --> 00:53:12,600
Wow, fuck that guy.
I just said as he rhymes it off

1042
00:53:12,600 --> 00:53:14,080
with the mean comment.
Uh huh.

1043
00:53:14,360 --> 00:53:16,680
He thumbs it and we've never
spoken again.

1044
00:53:16,960 --> 00:53:18,680
Good.
Yeah, please never speak to that

1045
00:53:18,680 --> 00:53:19,880
guy again.
What an asshole.

1046
00:53:19,880 --> 00:53:22,320
Did it?
Escalate did an asshole.

1047
00:53:22,320 --> 00:53:24,480
Melissa Rella, These are the
questions I have.

1048
00:53:24,560 --> 00:53:27,320
Why?
I don't understand that at all.

1049
00:53:27,440 --> 00:53:31,240
No, nothing that you said
deserved that kind of response.

1050
00:53:31,320 --> 00:53:35,240
It just could have ended nicely.
It could have, yeah, yeah.

1051
00:53:35,240 --> 00:53:38,000
Or he could have like clarified
instead of being like, well you

1052
00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:40,280
did not match what I had in my
head for you to say.

1053
00:53:40,560 --> 00:53:45,640
Like I got a numbered options of
hi I should have.

1054
00:53:46,440 --> 00:53:49,360
That's fucking ridiculous.
OK, dude.

1055
00:53:49,440 --> 00:53:50,400
Yeah.
Wow.

1056
00:53:50,480 --> 00:53:51,720
Nice.
Yeah.

1057
00:53:53,080 --> 00:53:54,640
Oh, good.
Yeah, good.

1058
00:53:54,920 --> 00:53:58,600
Just just good times.
Yeah, good times.

1059
00:53:58,600 --> 00:54:02,160
We we see a pattern emerging.
Do do you have any other?

1060
00:54:02,440 --> 00:54:03,720
Lovely.
Stories.

1061
00:54:03,720 --> 00:54:06,440
I definitely do.
Sure.

1062
00:54:06,440 --> 00:54:09,000
I've got one more that I will
share with you this. 1.

1063
00:54:09,840 --> 00:54:11,480
OK, All right, so I'm matched
with this guy.

1064
00:54:11,480 --> 00:54:12,720
I'm not even going to give him a
name.

1065
00:54:12,800 --> 00:54:14,000
He doesn't deserve it.
So.

1066
00:54:16,200 --> 00:54:18,600
Nothingness.
Yeah, so I matched with this

1067
00:54:18,600 --> 00:54:20,600
guy.
He was, I thought he was kind of

1068
00:54:20,600 --> 00:54:24,160
cute in his pictures and his bio
was said he was from New York

1069
00:54:24,160 --> 00:54:25,800
and he had just recently moved.
To Utah.

1070
00:54:25,960 --> 00:54:27,400
That's so hot.
Yeah.

1071
00:54:27,680 --> 00:54:28,840
Right.
You're Speaking of Utah.

1072
00:54:28,960 --> 00:54:30,400
You're like, sure, somebody new,
right?

1073
00:54:30,560 --> 00:54:34,520
So we matched a message and I
was like, hey, welcome to Utah.

1074
00:54:34,840 --> 00:54:37,160
How do you like it so far?
That's a big change from New

1075
00:54:37,160 --> 00:54:39,120
York.
Yeah, OK, he responded.

1076
00:54:39,400 --> 00:54:41,280
I do love it here.
Utah is so beautiful.

1077
00:54:42,360 --> 00:54:44,560
Next message.
Do you have any favorite New

1078
00:54:44,560 --> 00:54:47,760
York Times colonists?
And I was like, huh, OK, that's

1079
00:54:47,760 --> 00:54:50,920
a little like, yeah, you know,
but at least he's asking me a

1080
00:54:50,920 --> 00:54:52,880
question, so that's cool.
That's.

1081
00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:53,680
Really.
Cool.

1082
00:54:53,680 --> 00:54:58,240
Yeah, one would think, Claire.
And so I was like, kind of

1083
00:54:58,240 --> 00:55:00,440
racking my brain because I'm
like, it's been a while

1084
00:55:00,440 --> 00:55:03,320
actually, since I've read the
New York Times opinion page, to

1085
00:55:03,320 --> 00:55:05,760
be fair.
Because it pisses me off to be

1086
00:55:05,760 --> 00:55:07,760
honest.
Yes, I used to enjoy the New

1087
00:55:07,760 --> 00:55:11,360
York Times.
And then given their coverage of

1088
00:55:11,480 --> 00:55:14,760
the genocide, I was like, yeah,
cancelling my subscription.

1089
00:55:14,760 --> 00:55:17,480
Don't Yeah need you anymore.
It's totally agree.

1090
00:55:17,880 --> 00:55:21,040
And particularly, I think the
editorial page, it's just so

1091
00:55:21,040 --> 00:55:24,480
weird and gratuitous and, like,
there's not much I enjoy about

1092
00:55:24,480 --> 00:55:25,680
it.
So I hadn't read it for a while.

1093
00:55:25,680 --> 00:55:27,760
So I, like, kind of looked at it
really quickly.

1094
00:55:27,760 --> 00:55:29,200
I was like, oh, yeah, who did I
like?

1095
00:55:29,360 --> 00:55:30,480
Yeah.
And so I said, oh, that's a

1096
00:55:30,480 --> 00:55:32,920
great question.
I like Ezra Klein and David

1097
00:55:32,920 --> 00:55:34,440
Wallace Wells.
How about you?

1098
00:55:34,960 --> 00:55:36,960
I said.
My least favorite Brett Stevens

1099
00:55:36,960 --> 00:55:39,080
and Ross Doothout.
Is that how you say his name?

1100
00:55:39,080 --> 00:55:41,640
I can never remember.
Anyway, they're kind of

1101
00:55:41,640 --> 00:55:43,480
buffoons, right?
It's a great response.

1102
00:55:44,240 --> 00:55:45,680
Right.
And it's like those are the 2

1103
00:55:45,680 --> 00:55:48,440
main conservative columnist for
the New York Times and I think

1104
00:55:48,440 --> 00:55:50,800
they're both buffoons, right?
I think like at least David

1105
00:55:50,800 --> 00:55:54,280
Brooks has occasionally
something interesting to say and

1106
00:55:54,280 --> 00:55:56,680
a lot of bullshit, but like.
At least.

1107
00:55:56,720 --> 00:55:58,840
Some of what he says, I'm like,
OK, at least that's an

1108
00:55:58,840 --> 00:56:01,960
interesting point, right?
These two are kind of clowns,

1109
00:56:02,480 --> 00:56:05,480
OK?
He responds with two black and

1110
00:56:05,480 --> 00:56:12,240
white pictures of Martin Luther
King and then a long like, I

1111
00:56:12,240 --> 00:56:13,960
have to scroll several times.
Oh my God.

1112
00:56:13,960 --> 00:56:15,000
Look at the.
Size of it.

1113
00:56:15,000 --> 00:56:16,480
Oh my God, I'll read it to you.
Yeah.

1114
00:56:16,480 --> 00:56:18,120
It's the only thing big about
this person.

1115
00:56:18,520 --> 00:56:20,560
He.
Says, please don't take this

1116
00:56:20,560 --> 00:56:22,800
personally, but it's funny.
You, a liberal college

1117
00:56:22,800 --> 00:56:26,200
professor, put a disgust emoji
next to Brett Stevens, the one

1118
00:56:26,200 --> 00:56:29,480
columnist at the New York Times
who's openly, unapologetically

1119
00:56:29,480 --> 00:56:32,560
Jewish and pro Israel.
I don't have to take that.

1120
00:56:33,360 --> 00:56:35,880
What just happened?
Yeah, exactly what just

1121
00:56:35,880 --> 00:56:37,080
happened.
What just happened?

1122
00:56:37,080 --> 00:56:39,400
We have not mentioned
Jewishness.

1123
00:56:39,400 --> 00:56:42,240
We have not mentioned Israel.
Like I don't like this guy

1124
00:56:42,240 --> 00:56:45,120
because he's conservative even
apart from like the whole thing,

1125
00:56:45,120 --> 00:56:47,640
and because he's an asshole.
And you didn't provide a reason.

1126
00:56:47,640 --> 00:56:49,680
No, I just said these are the 2
I don't like.

1127
00:56:49,680 --> 00:56:52,160
Yeah, right.
I mean, I mentioned Ezra Klein,

1128
00:56:52,160 --> 00:56:53,800
who as I understand it, is
Jewish.

1129
00:56:53,960 --> 00:56:55,160
I believe so.
Yeah.

1130
00:56:55,320 --> 00:56:58,080
OK, so.
The argument I.

1131
00:56:58,120 --> 00:57:00,440
Rather have to take that I don't
have to take your opinion that I

1132
00:57:00,440 --> 00:57:01,880
asked for, right?
What?

1133
00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:05,920
And then he says I'd love to
share a couple of pictures with

1134
00:57:05,920 --> 00:57:07,560
you.
The pro Palestinian liberals

1135
00:57:07,560 --> 00:57:10,120
love to pretend they stand
behind Martin Luther King.

1136
00:57:10,360 --> 00:57:12,320
Well, forgetting that Martin
Luther King was a passionate

1137
00:57:12,320 --> 00:57:14,520
Zionist and opposed to the
Palestinian movement.

1138
00:57:14,760 --> 00:57:17,760
He called anti Zionism the
denial of the Jewish people's

1139
00:57:17,760 --> 00:57:20,360
right to a homeland and made it
clear when people criticize

1140
00:57:20,360 --> 00:57:23,440
Zionist they mean Jews.
You're talking anti-Semitism.

1141
00:57:23,680 --> 00:57:25,760
He never back groups that denied
Israel.

1142
00:57:26,200 --> 00:57:28,600
Oh yeah, Israel's right to
exist.

1143
00:57:28,600 --> 00:57:30,400
He stood with Israel
unapologetically.

1144
00:57:30,600 --> 00:57:33,320
The people who stood right next
to him, side by side, were the

1145
00:57:33,320 --> 00:57:36,200
first to March with them.
The ones who stood up for black

1146
00:57:36,200 --> 00:57:38,920
Americans more than anyone were
Zionist rabbis.

1147
00:57:39,080 --> 00:57:42,720
And then he listed them.
They stood for some values

1148
00:57:42,720 --> 00:57:44,960
Israel stands for today.
Don't forget that.

1149
00:57:44,960 --> 00:57:47,040
And don't let your students
forget that either.

1150
00:57:47,440 --> 00:57:49,120
Wait.
What just happened?

1151
00:57:49,120 --> 00:57:51,160
What the actual fuck just
happened?

1152
00:57:52,240 --> 00:57:54,560
I feel like I have whiplash.
Right.

1153
00:57:54,560 --> 00:57:58,720
I was like, wait, what the fuck?
Where did this where feels like

1154
00:57:58,720 --> 00:58:02,000
a pre prepared speech.
Come from and as fast as it came

1155
00:58:02,000 --> 00:58:04,040
through I'm sure it was a copy
paste.

1156
00:58:04,040 --> 00:58:06,800
He did not type that all out.
To me that is fully a copy

1157
00:58:06,800 --> 00:58:08,840
paste.
So he pictures with pictures,

1158
00:58:08,840 --> 00:58:10,760
like he's doing this on the
dating apps.

1159
00:58:11,680 --> 00:58:13,720
Yeah.
So I was like, wait, what?

1160
00:58:13,760 --> 00:58:15,760
Like I thought we were just
like, oh, who do you like at the

1161
00:58:15,760 --> 00:58:16,920
New York Times?
The Breeze.

1162
00:58:17,200 --> 00:58:19,480
But apparently it was a test.
It was another.

1163
00:58:19,480 --> 00:58:22,040
Test.
Yes, another way, like the men's

1164
00:58:22,040 --> 00:58:26,160
are trying to test us and
clearly that was trying to test

1165
00:58:26,160 --> 00:58:30,760
if I was a Zionist or not, which
I mean, I am the furthest thing

1166
00:58:30,760 --> 00:58:34,520
from a Zionist.
Like fuck that, yes, fuck

1167
00:58:34,640 --> 00:58:37,000
everything that they're doing.
You would have shared your

1168
00:58:37,240 --> 00:58:38,040
thoughts.
Absolutely.

1169
00:58:38,040 --> 00:58:40,760
He could have just asked that.
But what I know you wouldn't

1170
00:58:40,760 --> 00:58:44,680
have shared is the conflation
that he put in there, that you

1171
00:58:44,680 --> 00:58:47,720
were, because you're not a
Zionist, anti-Semitic.

1172
00:58:47,720 --> 00:58:48,800
Right.
So true.

1173
00:58:48,800 --> 00:58:50,760
Yeah.
So that's a cute little insult

1174
00:58:50,760 --> 00:58:54,400
that he's loving at me.
Like, in addition to saying that

1175
00:58:54,400 --> 00:58:57,280
I, you know, like he's telling
me how to do my job.

1176
00:58:57,480 --> 00:58:59,160
Yeah, right.
Like, don't let your students

1177
00:58:59,160 --> 00:59:01,040
forget that.
He's telling me that I'm wrong.

1178
00:59:01,200 --> 00:59:03,040
He's making a lot of
assumptions, Right.

1179
00:59:03,040 --> 00:59:05,160
So many.
I mean, I put in my bio that I'm

1180
00:59:05,160 --> 00:59:08,360
a professor and yeah, I think I
select liberal just because

1181
00:59:08,360 --> 00:59:12,040
like, I don't want to maggot.
But like, I'm not a fan of like

1182
00:59:12,040 --> 00:59:14,320
the Democratic Party either
anyway, whatever.

1183
00:59:14,320 --> 00:59:18,120
So like, I start typing out this
response like, look, buddy,

1184
00:59:18,320 --> 00:59:21,240
yeah, I don't think Martin
Luther King would have loved

1185
00:59:21,240 --> 00:59:24,360
murdering babies, etc.
And then and I was like, and if

1186
00:59:24,360 --> 00:59:26,880
he did, then like, I'm not, you
know, I don't.

1187
00:59:26,880 --> 00:59:28,520
Agree with that, I'm not a fan
anymore.

1188
00:59:29,960 --> 00:59:32,240
Like I start typing this and
then I'm like, what am I doing?

1189
00:59:32,240 --> 00:59:35,240
Like this is clearly a copy
paste situation.

1190
00:59:35,480 --> 00:59:38,480
We're never going to have a
productive like conversations.

1191
00:59:38,520 --> 00:59:41,520
This is crazy.
So I just did a block of report

1192
00:59:41,560 --> 00:59:45,080
and like moved on.
Yeah, he, it doesn't scream

1193
00:59:45,080 --> 00:59:53,360
dialogue like, and it also feels
very like Beatty because oh,

1194
00:59:53,360 --> 00:59:56,360
totally.
You know, there's this idea like

1195
00:59:56,360 --> 00:59:59,600
he, I'm sure you're not having
that discussion in biology

1196
00:59:59,600 --> 01:00:01,120
often, like, you know what I
mean?

1197
01:00:01,160 --> 01:00:03,120
It's not even my field.
He doesn't even know what I

1198
01:00:03,120 --> 01:00:04,320
teach.
Exactly right.

1199
01:00:04,320 --> 01:00:06,880
There's this perception like
college professors are right

1200
01:00:06,880 --> 01:00:09,560
there to brainwash everybody,
make them communists.

1201
01:00:09,560 --> 01:00:13,080
Like apparently through.
I don't even know.

1202
01:00:13,360 --> 01:00:15,640
Shit, like, I mean what?
What the fuck?

1203
01:00:15,640 --> 01:00:18,600
I mean, this guy's got some
major Zionist chip on his

1204
01:00:18,600 --> 01:00:20,680
shoulder and I want nothing to
do with that.

1205
01:00:20,680 --> 01:00:22,840
Thank you.
Yeah.

1206
01:00:22,840 --> 01:00:27,200
But like, man, the rage, like,
that's like zero to 100 after

1207
01:00:27,560 --> 01:00:29,000
two texts.
Literally.

1208
01:00:29,840 --> 01:00:31,040
Wow.
Yeah.

1209
01:00:31,320 --> 01:00:35,120
Like, yeah, this is, I don't
know what I call this feeling.

1210
01:00:35,120 --> 01:00:37,880
It feels like whiplash where
you're just like what just

1211
01:00:37,880 --> 01:00:39,720
happened.
I know and it makes you want to

1212
01:00:39,720 --> 01:00:41,680
vomit.
Like I was just like nauseous

1213
01:00:41,680 --> 01:00:44,960
reading this.
Because the purpose of a dating

1214
01:00:44,960 --> 01:00:49,280
app I would assume is to meet
someone and to either hook up

1215
01:00:49,280 --> 01:00:53,880
which is typically stated or to
try to find a long term partner

1216
01:00:53,880 --> 01:00:58,040
Or like why is it to chastise
people?

1217
01:00:58,040 --> 01:01:00,840
And so lecturing.
And you know what?

1218
01:01:00,840 --> 01:01:03,000
If you're actually sincerely
trying to find someone that

1219
01:01:03,000 --> 01:01:05,400
shares your views, I mean, I
find your views to be

1220
01:01:05,400 --> 01:01:08,120
disgusting, but like, you could
just ask.

1221
01:01:08,120 --> 01:01:10,400
Yeah, just like, quick question,
here's a deal breaker.

1222
01:01:10,520 --> 01:01:12,400
What do you think?
I could have been like, Yep.

1223
01:01:12,400 --> 01:01:13,520
We're not a match.
Goodbye.

1224
01:01:14,360 --> 01:01:16,720
Pleasant.
Or at least efficient.

1225
01:01:16,960 --> 01:01:20,640
Yes, efficient like.
Yeah, this coming in and like

1226
01:01:20,640 --> 01:01:22,720
it's, it's almost like a a trick
question.

1227
01:01:22,720 --> 01:01:26,640
Like I get the feeling this
guy's done this before.

1228
01:01:27,360 --> 01:01:31,200
Yes, 100%.
And it's probably still doing it

1229
01:01:31,200 --> 01:01:32,920
right now.
Wow, yeah.

1230
01:01:34,520 --> 01:01:37,120
Holy.
Smokes suck that guy.

1231
01:01:37,760 --> 01:01:42,320
Like Upton and sideways like
that just but the the coming at

1232
01:01:42,440 --> 01:01:46,680
a basically stranger like that.
I know it blows my.

1233
01:01:46,680 --> 01:01:50,320
Mind, it's so crazy.
It's it's, it's really just off

1234
01:01:50,320 --> 01:01:51,360
the charts.
Yep.

1235
01:01:52,680 --> 01:01:56,480
Wow.
Well moving on, I know that you

1236
01:01:57,400 --> 01:02:00,880
and I'm saving this for last cuz
I know you had a couple dates.

1237
01:02:01,440 --> 01:02:03,600
With a little cherry on top.
Here with a guy.

1238
01:02:03,960 --> 01:02:05,880
So why don't you share the whole
story?

1239
01:02:05,880 --> 01:02:06,800
Oh.
My God.

1240
01:02:07,360 --> 01:02:09,840
OK.
You need a breath to.

1241
01:02:09,880 --> 01:02:13,960
Like, you know, try to share
this in an orderly fashion and

1242
01:02:13,960 --> 01:02:16,280
not take all day to share this
story.

1243
01:02:16,720 --> 01:02:22,240
So I came across this man on the
apps who is was is currently

1244
01:02:22,240 --> 01:02:25,920
still is literally the hottest
man I've seen in years.

1245
01:02:26,160 --> 01:02:28,200
Oh boy, that's good.
Gorgeous.

1246
01:02:28,200 --> 01:02:29,400
You would think.
Yes.

1247
01:02:29,600 --> 01:02:31,160
Yeah, I saw this picture.
He was really good looking.

1248
01:02:31,160 --> 01:02:34,560
He was so good looking to the
point where I was absolutely

1249
01:02:34,560 --> 01:02:38,880
convinced he was a catfish.
Because, you know, like, it's

1250
01:02:38,880 --> 01:02:41,920
not often that you see someone
and you go what?

1251
01:02:42,320 --> 01:02:47,080
You know, like sometimes I go,
OK, OK, this could be be, you

1252
01:02:47,080 --> 01:02:51,200
know, I blur my eyes.
Could make it work, but like I

1253
01:02:51,200 --> 01:02:53,240
was literally like stopped in my
tracks.

1254
01:02:53,520 --> 01:02:58,000
Very attractive like he was
gorgeous, super snappy dresser.

1255
01:02:58,000 --> 01:03:00,160
You could tell from the pictures
which is hot, right?

1256
01:03:00,160 --> 01:03:03,600
Yeah, there's just a lot of men
on there with, like, hats and

1257
01:03:03,600 --> 01:03:06,880
stains on their T-shirts and
yeah, this guy's hair.

1258
01:03:07,000 --> 01:03:08,800
Oh, fuck.
Like damn.

1259
01:03:09,560 --> 01:03:12,360
You love a full head of hair.
I love it, but he had good hair.

1260
01:03:12,360 --> 01:03:14,120
Like he had styled hair.
Oh, that's.

1261
01:03:14,160 --> 01:03:16,720
Nice like it was.
It was almost like Tan France,

1262
01:03:16,720 --> 01:03:17,400
kind of.
Hair.

1263
01:03:17,400 --> 01:03:19,480
Oh, I love it.
So perfect.

1264
01:03:19,560 --> 01:03:23,000
Not the Utah faux hawk.
Not the Utah faux hawk, you

1265
01:03:23,000 --> 01:03:25,120
know, where you're like, Oh my
God, are you from here?

1266
01:03:25,120 --> 01:03:27,640
But.
And he was but like, he was just

1267
01:03:28,000 --> 01:03:33,120
startlingly hot.
And I was like, OK, And then as

1268
01:03:33,120 --> 01:03:38,040
you may know, listeners and Mel
that I kind of have a height

1269
01:03:38,040 --> 01:03:41,280
thing.
Yeah, and you know, you're 5

1270
01:03:41,280 --> 01:03:43,920
tons, so I get it.
Maybe you don't want to like,

1271
01:03:43,920 --> 01:03:46,320
swoop down on these poor little
men these.

1272
01:03:47,440 --> 01:03:49,240
Tiny men.
And here's the thing.

1273
01:03:49,240 --> 01:03:51,160
That's no shade on the men, of
course.

1274
01:03:51,160 --> 01:03:55,320
This is where it's rooted.
Because I feel like a behumoth.

1275
01:03:57,280 --> 01:03:58,520
I don't want to feel like a
Bahuma.

1276
01:03:58,760 --> 01:04:03,600
And I, you know, I guess there's
like also I, I expressed this

1277
01:04:03,600 --> 01:04:06,920
many years ago, unrelated to my
children, that I didn't want to

1278
01:04:07,000 --> 01:04:09,200
date a shorter man.
And they, they told me I had

1279
01:04:09,200 --> 01:04:11,800
internalized misogyny.
As you know, children will

1280
01:04:11,800 --> 01:04:14,040
correct you sometimes.
And I I agree.

1281
01:04:14,040 --> 01:04:17,800
Like there probably is a part of
that in there where, you know, I

1282
01:04:17,920 --> 01:04:21,000
want this taller, bigger man to
wrap his strong arms around me

1283
01:04:21,000 --> 01:04:22,680
and, you know.
Yeah, I do.

1284
01:04:22,680 --> 01:04:24,840
But I would kind of I'd push
back a little.

1285
01:04:24,840 --> 01:04:28,160
So maybe that is rooted in that
I would say you're a gorgeous

1286
01:04:28,160 --> 01:04:31,760
piece of art.
But I I also that was true.

1287
01:04:32,120 --> 01:04:35,840
But I feel like society kind of
like there's a little like weird

1288
01:04:35,840 --> 01:04:38,640
thing about tall women, right?
Like you don't quite fit in.

1289
01:04:38,640 --> 01:04:41,760
And sometimes you see tall women
have bad posture because they're

1290
01:04:41,760 --> 01:04:43,320
slouching.
Yes, yeah.

1291
01:04:43,320 --> 01:04:45,640
And like, yes, honestly, I think
you see it a little bit, or at

1292
01:04:45,640 --> 01:04:49,720
least maybe you did earlier with
with Tay Tay with Miss Taylor

1293
01:04:49,720 --> 01:04:52,160
Swift, because she is exactly
your height.

1294
01:04:52,160 --> 01:04:54,360
She's 510.
And like, I feel like sometimes

1295
01:04:54,360 --> 01:04:56,640
you kind of see her round up her
shoulders and kind of slouch.

1296
01:04:56,640 --> 01:04:59,400
So maybe it's a similar thing
where it's like, oh, women don't

1297
01:04:59,400 --> 01:05:01,360
take up too much space.
Yes, right.

1298
01:05:01,360 --> 01:05:05,840
So like, I get that.
And then also maybe like for

1299
01:05:05,840 --> 01:05:08,200
some of us having like this
bigger man that can like pick

1300
01:05:08,200 --> 01:05:11,600
you up, yes, it's an easy way to
access that feminine feeling and

1301
01:05:11,600 --> 01:05:13,880
energy.
I love you.

1302
01:05:14,400 --> 01:05:16,680
I love you too.
That was like the most beautiful

1303
01:05:16,680 --> 01:05:20,480
assessment I have ever heard.
And it's it's so true.

1304
01:05:20,480 --> 01:05:23,640
Like I have a little curvature
at the at the top of my spine

1305
01:05:23,640 --> 01:05:26,240
because I always as a kid was
always hunched.

1306
01:05:26,240 --> 01:05:29,520
Yeah, make myself smaller.
Yes, and I used to joke and say

1307
01:05:29,720 --> 01:05:32,520
that I feel like I've grown in
recent years and I would joke

1308
01:05:32,520 --> 01:05:35,280
and say oh it's all the yoga.
But I actually just think I'm

1309
01:05:35,280 --> 01:05:39,280
not ashamed of myself generally
anymore as I lean into being

1310
01:05:39,280 --> 01:05:42,360
ashamed of my size as well.
I mean, these things go like

1311
01:05:42,360 --> 01:05:45,080
kind of deep, right?
And like, I think now you've

1312
01:05:45,080 --> 01:05:47,720
kind of learned to like take up
your space, which you should,

1313
01:05:47,880 --> 01:05:49,440
you know, I say that to my
students all the time.

1314
01:05:49,800 --> 01:05:51,400
I'm like, don't apologize for
existing.

1315
01:05:51,400 --> 01:05:53,080
Stop it.
Take up your space.

1316
01:05:53,200 --> 01:05:55,760
All the.
You're meant to be here, yes.

1317
01:05:55,880 --> 01:05:59,280
Yeah, that's why I love star
pose and yoga because I'm like

1318
01:05:59,840 --> 01:06:03,040
just, you know, like sometimes
the arm placement is different,

1319
01:06:03,040 --> 01:06:07,040
but I am like stick of my wide,
like love it because and it, you

1320
01:06:07,040 --> 01:06:10,960
know, I'm not of a a petite
build either, you know.

1321
01:06:11,520 --> 01:06:14,160
But like, it's so proportional.
Like you're skinny and like, so

1322
01:06:14,160 --> 01:06:15,560
pretty.
You're just like, like I said, a

1323
01:06:15,560 --> 01:06:17,320
work of art.
You're so lovely.

1324
01:06:17,400 --> 01:06:18,760
Thank you.
And I'm not fishing for

1325
01:06:18,760 --> 01:06:20,880
compliments.
I'm just saying like, you know,

1326
01:06:20,880 --> 01:06:24,360
I've larger shoulders and you
know, like to suit my frame

1327
01:06:24,360 --> 01:06:27,000
because I'm not small, right?
I'm not I'm not petite.

1328
01:06:27,360 --> 01:06:32,640
So this but the way this man
articulated on his bio was like.

1329
01:06:32,640 --> 01:06:33,960
Hot.
Yeah, because.

1330
01:06:33,960 --> 01:06:37,000
He was like, look, I am this
size and I know that you have

1331
01:06:37,000 --> 01:06:39,400
personal preferences too, so you
do you.

1332
01:06:39,400 --> 01:06:42,280
But like, please don't complain
and abide it basically.

1333
01:06:42,280 --> 01:06:45,200
I mean, he didn't say that.
He he actually said it so well.

1334
01:06:45,480 --> 01:06:47,640
And I was like.
OK, and that's fair.

1335
01:06:47,640 --> 01:06:49,680
And that's actually hot.
So like just own it.

1336
01:06:49,680 --> 01:06:51,240
You're like, look, this is who I
am.

1337
01:06:51,240 --> 01:06:53,080
If you don't like it, fine, just
swipe left.

1338
01:06:53,080 --> 01:06:55,840
But you know, don't swipe right.
And then like wish it were

1339
01:06:55,840 --> 01:06:57,080
different.
Right.

1340
01:06:57,120 --> 01:06:59,280
Yeah, like I like you, but I
don't like this part.

1341
01:06:59,280 --> 01:07:02,000
It will then go the other way.
Exactly, go find someone you do

1342
01:07:02,000 --> 01:07:04,600
like.
How tall it is he, may I ask?

1343
01:07:04,680 --> 01:07:10,000
So oh.
The way, oh, I think I know

1344
01:07:10,000 --> 01:07:12,360
what's coming next.
Well, because it's so kind of

1345
01:07:12,360 --> 01:07:15,760
funny, this was a major shift
for me because it would be like

1346
01:07:16,320 --> 01:07:19,040
one or two inches or even if
somebody said they're 59,

1347
01:07:19,080 --> 01:07:22,240
because I always say I'm 59
because I am about like 5-9 and

1348
01:07:22,240 --> 01:07:24,000
1/2 and 3/4.
Like you're like.

1349
01:07:24,080 --> 01:07:26,880
Almost 5 yes, so I'll put. 59 on
an app.

1350
01:07:27,160 --> 01:07:29,240
So if they say they're 59, I'm
like, OK, wait.

1351
01:07:29,240 --> 01:07:31,560
Are you though?
That's where are you 5 seven

1352
01:07:31,600 --> 01:07:34,640
Yeah, exactly.
And so I just, I just want to

1353
01:07:34,640 --> 01:07:38,160
know like, it's yeah.
So this this man was even

1354
01:07:38,160 --> 01:07:41,040
smaller than that.
And the way I determined it was,

1355
01:07:41,040 --> 01:07:46,360
I was like, he is a yoga block
on the smallest setting, smaller

1356
01:07:46,360 --> 01:07:48,280
than.
Okay wait, so how tall did he

1357
01:07:48,280 --> 01:07:52,760
say he was 5955?
He said 55 yes.

1358
01:07:52,760 --> 01:07:55,440
And he is 5/5.
He is OK Can confirm.

1359
01:07:55,440 --> 01:07:56,560
OK.
OK, 55.

1360
01:07:56,560 --> 01:07:58,800
All right.
So that's pretty short.

1361
01:07:59,280 --> 01:08:00,200
Yes.
OK.

1362
01:08:00,360 --> 01:08:02,120
Yes.
So you know what?

1363
01:08:02,120 --> 01:08:03,800
Kudos to you for giving it a
try.

1364
01:08:03,840 --> 01:08:06,600
You know I really did cuz he was
so funny.

1365
01:08:06,600 --> 01:08:11,560
Like we were chatting on the app
and like I cannot emphasize

1366
01:08:11,560 --> 01:08:14,160
enough how handsome this man is.
Oh he definitely was, can

1367
01:08:14,160 --> 01:08:16,160
confirm.
Really cute and when I met him

1368
01:08:16,160 --> 01:08:19,000
in real life, even cuter.
Oh, I love it when that happens.

1369
01:08:19,000 --> 01:08:20,080
Smells good.
Yeah.

1370
01:08:20,080 --> 01:08:22,200
Clothes.
Amazing.

1371
01:08:22,200 --> 01:08:25,920
Love it so.
But, you know, in hindsight,

1372
01:08:25,920 --> 01:08:28,640
you're like, yeah, that might
have been a problem.

1373
01:08:28,640 --> 01:08:32,240
So we decide to.
I actually asked for a video

1374
01:08:32,240 --> 01:08:35,840
call because fair.
Sometimes when I'm like I.

1375
01:08:35,880 --> 01:08:37,240
Think I'm not sure if you're
real.

1376
01:08:37,640 --> 01:08:40,080
Yeah, totally fair.
Are you real?

1377
01:08:40,520 --> 01:08:45,920
And so he agreed and it was
lovely and it was a little

1378
01:08:46,399 --> 01:08:48,800
robotic, but you alive for
nerves, right?

1379
01:08:48,840 --> 01:08:52,279
Yeah, first dates are awkward.
They just are, so I get it.

1380
01:08:52,359 --> 01:08:54,399
And this was the video call.
Oh, that was oh, sorry, the

1381
01:08:54,399 --> 01:08:57,160
video that's even weirder.
Yeah, cuz video calls are are

1382
01:08:57,160 --> 01:08:58,960
kind of weird.
And when you've never met

1383
01:08:58,960 --> 01:09:01,000
someone, it can take a minute to
warm up.

1384
01:09:01,000 --> 01:09:05,040
I totally get that it's.
Just like a little but it but it

1385
01:09:05,040 --> 01:09:07,000
was good.
But he started sending He said

1386
01:09:07,000 --> 01:09:09,960
OK, so cuz I said something
about our first date and he goes

1387
01:09:09,960 --> 01:09:14,040
oh, this isn't a date.
And I was like OK, OK.

1388
01:09:14,640 --> 01:09:17,600
And he said no, what happens is
this.

1389
01:09:18,000 --> 01:09:21,279
And he said there will be a meet
up is what we will call it.

1390
01:09:21,760 --> 01:09:26,680
And then if we like the meet up,
we will then proceed to a first

1391
01:09:26,680 --> 01:09:27,640
date.
OK.

1392
01:09:27,840 --> 01:09:32,359
But we will not say on the meet
up that we would like a first

1393
01:09:32,359 --> 01:09:34,080
date.
We will both go away and take

1394
01:09:34,080 --> 01:09:36,200
some time.
And so I will not go through it

1395
01:09:36,200 --> 01:09:37,600
all.
But there was quite a list of

1396
01:09:37,600 --> 01:09:40,920
rules.
OK, I mean, this one kind of

1397
01:09:41,000 --> 01:09:43,279
could strike, could rub me
either way depending on how it

1398
01:09:43,279 --> 01:09:46,720
was delivered because, you know,
it could be, like you said,

1399
01:09:46,720 --> 01:09:48,560
that's a lot of rules and
regulations.

1400
01:09:48,560 --> 01:09:51,640
Why don't we just kind of let
it, you know, happen and flow?

1401
01:09:52,040 --> 01:09:54,920
On the other hand, I do
appreciate saying like there's

1402
01:09:54,920 --> 01:09:58,680
no pressure to say yes to a
first date, like or a second

1403
01:09:58,680 --> 01:10:01,200
date or whatever you want to
call it, a first date after a

1404
01:10:01,200 --> 01:10:02,960
meet up or like whatever the
hell.

1405
01:10:03,480 --> 01:10:07,720
Yeah, I, I do appreciate the
like not putting any pressure on

1406
01:10:07,720 --> 01:10:08,960
it.
So you can just kind of go in

1407
01:10:08,960 --> 01:10:13,160
and like, I don't know, be like
yourself and not feel like, Oh

1408
01:10:13,160 --> 01:10:14,720
no, it's like he's going to ask
me out again.

1409
01:10:14,920 --> 01:10:18,000
Right.
Like, and that is how I received

1410
01:10:18,000 --> 01:10:19,080
it.
OK.

1411
01:10:19,240 --> 01:10:20,360
I was really trying.
Yeah.

1412
01:10:20,400 --> 01:10:23,080
I was like, OK, you were.
He's being very considerate.

1413
01:10:23,160 --> 01:10:26,160
That's lovely.
So we have a meet up.

1414
01:10:26,920 --> 01:10:29,800
Not a date.
But a meet up, a we meet up,

1415
01:10:31,040 --> 01:10:34,280
very pleasant.
He was actually like adorable,

1416
01:10:34,280 --> 01:10:38,680
like very gentlemanly opening
doors and the height thing

1417
01:10:38,680 --> 01:10:40,480
didn't feel weird.
I love that.

1418
01:10:40,480 --> 01:10:43,800
Like it didn't feel too weird
and I was like, OK, OK.

1419
01:10:43,840 --> 01:10:46,160
Open to the possibility.
Open to the possibility.

1420
01:10:46,160 --> 01:10:47,640
I like it.
It was good.

1421
01:10:47,640 --> 01:10:51,480
And we had this nice little
coffee date and and he was sort

1422
01:10:51,480 --> 01:10:54,440
of like, I don't understand why
you had to like video call with

1423
01:10:54,440 --> 01:10:57,040
me and stuff.
And I was like, well, women got

1424
01:10:57,040 --> 01:10:58,400
murdered on the apps.
So.

1425
01:10:58,560 --> 01:11:01,480
Yeah.
And he was like, well, I get

1426
01:11:01,480 --> 01:11:03,880
pressure from the apps too.
And I was like, my God, I'm so

1427
01:11:03,880 --> 01:11:06,760
sorry what happened?
And he was like, well, women ask

1428
01:11:06,760 --> 01:11:10,360
me how much money I make.
OK, well, that's in bad taste,

1429
01:11:10,360 --> 01:11:12,200
but that's different than
getting murdered.

1430
01:11:12,360 --> 01:11:15,480
It's they're they're not really
like false equivalent.

1431
01:11:15,560 --> 01:11:17,560
Yeah.
Exactly.

1432
01:11:17,960 --> 01:11:21,480
So I'm like, OK, that's cool.
So it was pretty brief date

1433
01:11:21,480 --> 01:11:24,680
because we both had time
constraints and we walked back

1434
01:11:24,680 --> 01:11:27,320
to the car again, super sweet.
And he was like, can I give you

1435
01:11:27,320 --> 01:11:29,120
a hug?
And I was like, yes, nice.

1436
01:11:29,120 --> 01:11:31,720
And it was it was just lovely.
And then he's like, I'd love to

1437
01:11:31,720 --> 01:11:33,080
see you again.
I was like, wait, you're

1438
01:11:33,080 --> 01:11:34,960
breaking the rules like.
Your rules.

1439
01:11:34,960 --> 01:11:37,160
Your rules, to be clear.
Yes, like I was.

1440
01:11:37,160 --> 01:11:38,320
Thrilled, you know?
Yeah.

1441
01:11:38,880 --> 01:11:42,160
And and so that was all good.
Wait, wait, I have a question.

1442
01:11:42,240 --> 01:11:44,400
What do you think would have
happened if you had said that

1443
01:11:44,400 --> 01:11:48,320
and broken his rules?
Well, judged on what came now,

1444
01:11:48,440 --> 01:11:50,920
boy.
Probably not well.

1445
01:11:51,000 --> 01:11:52,800
It wouldn't have been.
I think I would have been

1446
01:11:52,840 --> 01:11:55,840
chastised, yes, look at us in
arm and.

1447
01:11:55,840 --> 01:11:59,640
Sink, my God.
Because this is all too

1448
01:11:59,640 --> 01:12:02,840
predictable scenario.
OK, yeah.

1449
01:12:03,320 --> 01:12:07,240
So we proceed to text.
It's it's honestly very cute.

1450
01:12:07,240 --> 01:12:09,680
He he was a big meme or gift
guy.

1451
01:12:09,680 --> 01:12:12,080
We couldn't we couldn't
ascertain in our old people's

1452
01:12:12,080 --> 01:12:16,080
state, like which one it was.
He sent me like a little gift

1453
01:12:16,080 --> 01:12:18,760
story of our first date.
It was so adorable.

1454
01:12:18,880 --> 01:12:20,320
Cute it was.
Very cute.

1455
01:12:20,320 --> 01:12:22,320
And he's like, well, you have
to, you have to write a

1456
01:12:22,320 --> 01:12:24,600
paragraph.
And I write our first date.

1457
01:12:24,600 --> 01:12:26,840
Wait, what?
And I was like, you know.

1458
01:12:26,840 --> 01:12:29,960
I mean, no, I don't, but
paragraph, Sir.

1459
01:12:30,720 --> 01:12:35,240
But I again trying to be.
Very kind of roll with it I.

1460
01:12:35,320 --> 01:12:37,000
Said, How about I write you a
poem?

1461
01:12:37,640 --> 01:12:39,840
You know I'm in a poetry.
I know you are.

1462
01:12:40,440 --> 01:12:43,440
And I fucking hate writing
poems, but I just like, you

1463
01:12:43,440 --> 01:12:46,520
know, let's make it fun.
So did a silly little quick poem

1464
01:12:46,680 --> 01:12:47,560
Cute.
I don't.

1465
01:12:47,680 --> 01:12:49,080
I'm not really sure if.
You like it?

1466
01:12:49,080 --> 01:12:52,040
Was it a Limerick?
It it was actually she she

1467
01:12:52,040 --> 01:12:53,920
experienced on.
It very nice.

1468
01:12:54,440 --> 01:12:56,720
There was once a guy 5 which was
55.

1469
01:12:56,840 --> 01:12:58,840
Let's see, I'm trying to.
OK, we'll have to workshop the

1470
01:12:58,840 --> 01:13:00,280
Limerick.
I love limericks.

1471
01:13:00,280 --> 01:13:02,680
Oh my God.
Yeah, that I should have gone

1472
01:13:02,680 --> 01:13:04,280
that route.
Limericks are hard though.

1473
01:13:04,760 --> 01:13:06,440
Very hard and.
It was on the spot.

1474
01:13:06,440 --> 01:13:09,800
Like boom, boom, boom, Yeah.
So yes, so we did that.

1475
01:13:10,760 --> 01:13:13,840
We planned another.
I unsurprisingly had another

1476
01:13:13,840 --> 01:13:17,200
crazy week and so I was like I'd
love to see you before but it

1477
01:13:17,200 --> 01:13:20,440
has to be next Saturday like
later in the day cuz stuff in

1478
01:13:20,440 --> 01:13:23,880
the morning yes US and the salty
hills so.

1479
01:13:24,160 --> 01:13:27,760
That is the priority.
And so I am happy that obviously

1480
01:13:27,760 --> 01:13:30,040
we both appreciate that.
Oh, no plans, yeah, for.

1481
01:13:30,160 --> 01:13:36,000
That ever so so yeah, we we meet
up, he organizes everything and

1482
01:13:36,000 --> 01:13:39,280
he makes it really fun.
We go to like a little arcade

1483
01:13:39,280 --> 01:13:41,000
fun place.
Oh, I love that.

1484
01:13:41,000 --> 01:13:45,640
Super sweet, like really
thoughtful and like he pays for

1485
01:13:45,640 --> 01:13:47,240
everything.
I'm like, you really don't have

1486
01:13:47,240 --> 01:13:49,040
to do that.
And he's like, but I would like

1487
01:13:49,040 --> 01:13:51,920
to, Oh my God, Melissa, what
came next was.

1488
01:13:51,920 --> 01:13:54,280
Beautiful.
Oh my God, tell me I'm on the

1489
01:13:54,320 --> 01:13:55,640
edge of my seat.
Literally.

1490
01:13:55,640 --> 01:13:59,600
It's a good thing and This is
why I'm so like what?

1491
01:14:00,040 --> 01:14:04,760
So we we play a little game of
mini golf and his little stick

1492
01:14:04,760 --> 01:14:07,400
was so short, like his little
because he's.

1493
01:14:07,400 --> 01:14:11,760
Tiny stick.
I like the little stick you

1494
01:14:11,760 --> 01:14:14,040
never got to see.
The other stick I didn't get.

1495
01:14:14,040 --> 01:14:17,320
To the other stick.
But yeah, it was, it was, it was

1496
01:14:17,320 --> 01:14:18,080
so miniature.
It was.

1497
01:14:18,200 --> 01:14:19,960
It was cute.
Miniature golfer.

1498
01:14:19,960 --> 01:14:21,080
A miniature man.
Yes, and.

1499
01:14:21,720 --> 01:14:25,360
I was just really like, I was, I
was because sometimes I was

1500
01:14:25,360 --> 01:14:30,400
like, oh, like I, I felt like,
like people were staring at me.

1501
01:14:30,560 --> 01:14:32,760
Like to be like, who are you
with?

1502
01:14:32,960 --> 01:14:36,520
Like he, like, he was just a few
years younger than me.

1503
01:14:36,520 --> 01:14:40,000
He looked good.
Yeah, I saw the pictures.

1504
01:14:40,000 --> 01:14:41,160
He did look really good.
I'm.

1505
01:14:41,400 --> 01:14:46,720
Young and like and so I to be
clear, it was more about my

1506
01:14:46,720 --> 01:14:49,120
feeling of self consciousness.
I was not making fun of him.

1507
01:14:49,160 --> 01:14:51,200
He is gorgeous.
Yeah, he is gorgeous.

1508
01:14:51,200 --> 01:14:53,040
Yeah.
Really snappy dresser too.

1509
01:14:53,040 --> 01:14:58,040
So I lose the mini golf and he
said, well you've won a prize.

1510
01:14:58,080 --> 01:14:59,880
And I was like.
Oh, have I?

1511
01:15:00,600 --> 01:15:01,760
Wow.
Is it a little stick?

1512
01:15:01,760 --> 01:15:06,920
Yeah, just kidding.
I love it.

1513
01:15:06,960 --> 01:15:08,640
I'll take a little stick at this
point too.

1514
01:15:08,680 --> 01:15:10,560
Oh God.
So I thought he meant like the

1515
01:15:10,560 --> 01:15:14,240
wee cheesy prizes inside.
Yeah, like a 20 ball or yeah,

1516
01:15:14,240 --> 01:15:15,560
like.
The little arcade prizes.

1517
01:15:15,720 --> 01:15:17,760
Yeah, and I was like, oh, I
thought we didn't get those to

1518
01:15:17,760 --> 01:15:19,480
the end.
He's like, no, call my side with

1519
01:15:19,480 --> 01:15:20,120
me.
So I'm like.

1520
01:15:20,120 --> 01:15:22,040
What's going on?
It is a little stick.

1521
01:15:22,320 --> 01:15:25,520
Oh my God.
Sorry, I'll stop with that joke.

1522
01:15:25,520 --> 01:15:26,760
Maybe I'll stop with that joke.
You.

1523
01:15:27,200 --> 01:15:29,280
You feel my desperation at this
point.

1524
01:15:29,280 --> 01:15:31,120
So I appreciate your.
Encouragement.

1525
01:15:31,560 --> 01:15:36,520
So we go I and Oh my God,
genuinely and will always remain

1526
01:15:36,960 --> 01:15:39,080
one of the nicest things anyone
has ever done.

1527
01:15:39,520 --> 01:15:42,920
So thoughtful.
So we've been texting previously

1528
01:15:42,920 --> 01:15:46,400
and it had been Easter and you
know, he was like, oh, what are

1529
01:15:46,400 --> 01:15:48,200
you doing for Easter?
And I was like, Oh, I kind of

1530
01:15:48,200 --> 01:15:51,240
forgot like because my kids are
older and it's different now,

1531
01:15:51,280 --> 01:15:52,800
right?
Like it's just there's no more

1532
01:15:52,800 --> 01:15:56,760
wee hunts or I did get my son,
who's the only child at home

1533
01:15:56,760 --> 01:15:59,040
now, a wee basket, but.
You know, cute.

1534
01:15:59,120 --> 01:16:00,440
It's just different.
Yeah.

1535
01:16:00,600 --> 01:16:05,440
And I said, but you know what,
what I'd sell my soul for an

1536
01:16:05,440 --> 01:16:09,360
Irish Easter egg right now.
And he said, oh, what does that

1537
01:16:09,360 --> 01:16:11,320
look like?
And I described it and it's, you

1538
01:16:11,320 --> 01:16:14,040
know, it's like centred around
your favorite chocolate.

1539
01:16:14,520 --> 01:16:16,120
And so he was like, well, what
are you?

1540
01:16:16,320 --> 01:16:19,240
What is your favorite chocolate?
Dude was like data mining and.

1541
01:16:19,560 --> 01:16:21,600
I was so cute.
That's awesome.

1542
01:16:21,600 --> 01:16:24,720
So lovely.
Like listening, being proactive,

1543
01:16:24,720 --> 01:16:26,800
taking notes on your
preferences.

1544
01:16:26,840 --> 01:16:29,360
Like storing data for a
potential gift later.

1545
01:16:29,400 --> 01:16:31,160
I like all of this.
This is great.

1546
01:16:31,160 --> 01:16:33,600
Love all of it and it's at the
time I didn't realize this is

1547
01:16:33,600 --> 01:16:36,400
what's happening.
So we go to his car, he gives me

1548
01:16:36,400 --> 01:16:38,280
a bag that is so.
Heavy.

1549
01:16:38,280 --> 01:16:39,960
Oh my God.
Like what the Hell's in it?

1550
01:16:39,960 --> 01:16:43,960
Like, is it at their head?
What is it like it was really

1551
01:16:44,000 --> 01:16:49,560
heavy.
And so like I, I open it and

1552
01:16:49,560 --> 01:16:53,440
I'm, I almost literally cry like
I was speechless.

1553
01:16:53,520 --> 01:16:57,120
Oh, Claire, he had.
Put together this beautiful box

1554
01:16:57,480 --> 01:17:00,760
and it was all like it had like,
I don't know, I'm not very

1555
01:17:00,760 --> 01:17:05,040
artistic this bedding like.
Was it like Easter grass or

1556
01:17:05,040 --> 01:17:09,840
straws or something like that?
Bedding that's like rabbit.

1557
01:17:09,840 --> 01:17:11,320
Rabbit bedding.
Betting, yeah.

1558
01:17:12,040 --> 01:17:17,760
It had rabbit bedding but.
It was so pretty and there was

1559
01:17:17,760 --> 01:17:21,360
just rows and rows and rows of
all Irish chocolate.

1560
01:17:21,400 --> 01:17:25,240
Oh my God.
Like, literally heavenly.

1561
01:17:25,240 --> 01:17:28,080
Food.
Oh, it's so sweet and and.

1562
01:17:28,320 --> 01:17:32,000
There was like a little key
crochet key chain in the corner,

1563
01:17:32,080 --> 01:17:34,360
like the presentation was on
point.

1564
01:17:34,360 --> 01:17:36,880
So cute.
And then he said, lift up the

1565
01:17:36,880 --> 01:17:40,640
chocolate.
He got me a T-shirt with my

1566
01:17:40,640 --> 01:17:42,440
hometown on it.
What?

1567
01:17:42,600 --> 01:17:44,320
Yes.
Oh, that's a lot.

1568
01:17:44,520 --> 01:17:46,920
And I was like, I was, I was
overwhelmed.

1569
01:17:46,920 --> 01:17:48,920
It was such a really kind
gesture and.

1570
01:17:48,920 --> 01:17:50,720
He was like.
You know, I couldn't get an

1571
01:17:50,720 --> 01:17:53,960
Easter egg, but I just, I went
to ride and got your favorite

1572
01:17:54,000 --> 01:17:55,880
Wow.
And I was like, Oh my God.

1573
01:17:56,440 --> 01:18:01,000
That is so thoughtful, like it,
you know, shows effort like I, I

1574
01:18:01,000 --> 01:18:05,320
love this.
I was like it just I like leaned

1575
01:18:05,320 --> 01:18:07,880
in because I have a wall.
Yeah.

1576
01:18:08,480 --> 01:18:14,360
There's maybe several, but like,
I was like, Oh yeah, so sweet.

1577
01:18:14,400 --> 01:18:20,040
So we went on, we bowled, we ate
terrible arcade food, like all

1578
01:18:20,040 --> 01:18:22,400
the things.
And it was, it was just so

1579
01:18:22,400 --> 01:18:25,680
deeply pleasant.
Deeply more than deeply

1580
01:18:25,680 --> 01:18:27,320
pleasant.
It was actually fun.

1581
01:18:27,360 --> 01:18:28,760
I love it.
It was cute.

1582
01:18:29,000 --> 01:18:31,520
Got a little flirty towards the
end, like we spent a good couple

1583
01:18:31,520 --> 01:18:34,440
of hours together.
He walks me to my car and I was

1584
01:18:34,440 --> 01:18:36,320
like, oh, you should try some of
the chocolate.

1585
01:18:36,680 --> 01:18:40,800
And so we, I opened my trunk.
It was kind of like a warm day.

1586
01:18:40,800 --> 01:18:42,200
Yeah.
It was kind of dreamy.

1587
01:18:42,200 --> 01:18:46,240
You know, we're sitting with the
chocolate and just chatting, and

1588
01:18:47,160 --> 01:18:49,240
I just put a large amount of
chocolate in my mouth.

1589
01:18:49,280 --> 01:18:51,800
He's like, can I kiss you?
And I was like, that's really

1590
01:18:51,800 --> 01:18:54,920
bad timing, But yes, yes,
please.

1591
01:18:55,200 --> 01:18:58,680
Like, yes, you can suck this
chocolate off my bottom lip.

1592
01:18:58,760 --> 01:19:00,160
Just kidding.
Just kidding.

1593
01:19:01,560 --> 01:19:04,200
Yes, there was a little bit of
that.

1594
01:19:04,240 --> 01:19:07,800
So we we have a a kiss.
It's very pleasant.

1595
01:19:07,920 --> 01:19:12,440
And it was a little like not
robotic, but like I was like

1596
01:19:12,440 --> 01:19:16,440
you, you can put your hands on
my body or my face or something

1597
01:19:16,640 --> 01:19:19,800
like it was a little like
sounding like a Nutcracker kiss.

1598
01:19:19,920 --> 01:19:22,680
But it was nice.
It was it was good and it was

1599
01:19:22,680 --> 01:19:24,400
just like a fun day.
It was just fun.

1600
01:19:24,400 --> 01:19:26,040
Yeah, it sounds amazing.
I was like is.

1601
01:19:26,080 --> 01:19:27,440
Claire having fun?
Yeah.

1602
01:19:27,560 --> 01:19:29,440
Wait.
What on a date?

1603
01:19:29,800 --> 01:19:33,040
Have I let go of stress for a
moment?

1604
01:19:33,040 --> 01:19:34,720
And I'm like, living?
Wow.

1605
01:19:34,760 --> 01:19:37,960
Yeah, kind of like that.
So it was, it was lovely.

1606
01:19:37,960 --> 01:19:42,080
We text a little at night.
The next day he's like, I would

1607
01:19:42,080 --> 01:19:45,080
love to see you again.
And I was like, great, let's do

1608
01:19:45,080 --> 01:19:51,240
it.
So is this where things take a

1609
01:19:51,240 --> 01:19:53,960
turn well?
Like I just want to highlight

1610
01:19:53,960 --> 01:19:56,840
like this was lovely.
Yeah, it all sounds lovely, and

1611
01:19:56,840 --> 01:19:59,800
it didn't sound like any red
flags had presented themselves.

1612
01:19:59,800 --> 01:20:01,760
No, yeah.
And I was just like.

1613
01:20:02,600 --> 01:20:05,360
This is great.
I, I, let's, let's go.

1614
01:20:05,440 --> 01:20:07,320
Absolutely.
He had mentioned that he thought

1615
01:20:07,320 --> 01:20:10,120
I was like a little untrusting.
And I said, you know, I'm just,

1616
01:20:10,120 --> 01:20:13,480
I'm just a little, a little, a
little shy of the whole dating

1617
01:20:13,480 --> 01:20:15,440
thing.
But like, you know, trust for me

1618
01:20:15,440 --> 01:20:17,040
is like earned and built over
time.

1619
01:20:17,040 --> 01:20:20,240
It you don't start from a place
of trust, it builds right.

1620
01:20:20,520 --> 01:20:26,880
And, and it had built that day,
you know, And so we're chatting

1621
01:20:26,880 --> 01:20:29,560
on Sunday.
Sorry to any of my children, if

1622
01:20:29,560 --> 01:20:31,680
you're listening, you know.
Earmuffs.

1623
01:20:32,120 --> 01:20:34,640
Just kidding.
Just just go make a cup of tea

1624
01:20:34,640 --> 01:20:40,000
or something now, So I, I mean,
it wasn't like super racy, but

1625
01:20:40,000 --> 01:20:44,160
it, you know, he, he was
expressing nice, nice feelings.

1626
01:20:44,360 --> 01:20:47,080
OK, some desire.
Yeah, but there was no, there

1627
01:20:47,080 --> 01:20:48,840
was no like Dick pics or
anything like it was just.

1628
01:20:48,840 --> 01:20:50,360
Yeah, it was.
It was pretty.

1629
01:20:50,440 --> 01:20:52,640
I get.
It on the level yeah, Now I have

1630
01:20:52,640 --> 01:20:55,600
to point out at this point that
this man had said to me he's

1631
01:20:55,600 --> 01:20:59,920
very literal and that like he he
said and I quote you would

1632
01:20:59,920 --> 01:21:04,120
literally like people have to
like sit on my lap for me to

1633
01:21:04,120 --> 01:21:06,640
know that they're interested.
OK, that's fair.

1634
01:21:06,640 --> 01:21:09,960
I I sometimes have that too.
Yeah, I I would be quite literal

1635
01:21:09,960 --> 01:21:11,520
myself.
I'm very bad at flirting for

1636
01:21:11,520 --> 01:21:14,160
that reason.
And so cuz I'm like wait what?

1637
01:21:14,160 --> 01:21:16,440
And it's like, it was a joke.
And I'm like, oh, sorry.

1638
01:21:17,080 --> 01:21:20,680
Yeah.
So he said that and there was

1639
01:21:20,680 --> 01:21:23,600
something else he said about,
you know, being very clear with

1640
01:21:23,600 --> 01:21:26,760
what I I wanted.
So I was like, wow, well, maybe

1641
01:21:27,280 --> 01:21:31,080
now it would be a great time to,
you know, talk about those

1642
01:21:31,080 --> 01:21:34,840
things.
So I just said, you know,

1643
01:21:35,080 --> 01:21:39,920
Speaking of sex and stuff, I, I
always get tested with a new

1644
01:21:39,920 --> 01:21:43,280
partner and I expect the same of
a new partner.

1645
01:21:43,320 --> 01:21:45,600
Yeah.
And you know, I typically don't

1646
01:21:45,600 --> 01:21:47,440
have sex until I'm exclusive
with somebody.

1647
01:21:47,440 --> 01:21:51,440
But if I do so this is, these
are the words I use typically.

1648
01:21:51,720 --> 01:21:55,040
And I said if I do, like I,
we're going to be using

1649
01:21:55,040 --> 01:21:56,400
protection until we're
exclusive.

1650
01:21:56,440 --> 01:22:01,520
Like that's, yeah, I mean, that
seems extremely reasonable.

1651
01:22:01,520 --> 01:22:04,760
And also I think that's fairly
par for the course, right?

1652
01:22:04,760 --> 01:22:06,520
Like minimum, right?
I think that's the standard

1653
01:22:06,520 --> 01:22:09,840
expectation, yeah, yeah.
And, and like, honestly, if it

1654
01:22:09,840 --> 01:22:12,960
wasn't, I'd be like, oh.
Oh, like, maybe a red flag,

1655
01:22:12,960 --> 01:22:14,600
right?
Like, what are you trying to

1656
01:22:14,600 --> 01:22:16,920
hide?
Or, like, I mean, yeah,

1657
01:22:16,920 --> 01:22:19,880
obviously, like, people should
get tested, share the test

1658
01:22:19,880 --> 01:22:22,840
results and wrap it up until
you're exclusive.

1659
01:22:23,920 --> 01:22:27,600
It seems like a very normal
thing to say.

1660
01:22:28,400 --> 01:22:29,640
You would think.
Oh boy.

1661
01:22:30,280 --> 01:22:34,560
Yes, so I shared that and I get
I can respect all of that.

1662
01:22:34,680 --> 01:22:36,280
Your boundaries are valid for
you and I'm like.

1663
01:22:36,320 --> 01:22:37,920
Oh my gosh.
OK, great, great.

1664
01:22:38,360 --> 01:22:39,600
And then.
Oh no.

1665
01:22:39,760 --> 01:22:43,040
I have my own boundaries.
OK, again, fair.

1666
01:22:43,040 --> 01:22:48,960
I'm listening and I will not
make an exclusive commitment to

1667
01:22:48,960 --> 01:22:50,680
anyone in order to just have
sex.

1668
01:22:50,680 --> 01:22:52,320
With wait.
Well, OK, whoa.

1669
01:22:52,320 --> 01:22:54,320
And I'm like, OK.
That's not even what you said

1670
01:22:54,320 --> 01:22:56,200
though.
You said we have to use

1671
01:22:56,200 --> 01:22:58,160
protection until we're
exclusive.

1672
01:22:58,240 --> 01:23:01,880
Yeah.
And I said typically I yeah, I

1673
01:23:01,880 --> 01:23:04,320
had no requests.
Yeah, OK.

1674
01:23:04,360 --> 01:23:07,080
Yes.
Sir, I just don't like the idea

1675
01:23:07,200 --> 01:23:11,000
of withholding sex to gain
something in return.

1676
01:23:11,080 --> 01:23:13,560
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
OK, excuse you.

1677
01:23:13,560 --> 01:23:17,920
Withholding sex.
Are you on fucking drugs, Sir?

1678
01:23:18,080 --> 01:23:21,120
OK, look, that is not a OK.
I'm sorry.

1679
01:23:21,120 --> 01:23:22,480
I'm mad.
Now.

1680
01:23:23,240 --> 01:23:25,360
This has triggered me.
You haven't triggered me.

1681
01:23:25,360 --> 01:23:28,680
This man has triggered me.
OK, because withholding sex

1682
01:23:29,360 --> 01:23:34,120
implies and actually indicates
so just straight out that he is

1683
01:23:34,120 --> 01:23:39,040
owed sex by you and for you to
not comply is therefore

1684
01:23:39,040 --> 01:23:41,120
withholding.
So you are withholding something

1685
01:23:41,120 --> 01:23:44,880
he is rightfully owed.
That is some fucking bullshit.

1686
01:23:45,040 --> 01:23:49,600
Yes, and bear in mind this is
the next text after I just

1687
01:23:49,600 --> 01:23:53,280
shared that.
Yeah, in a very respectful way.

1688
01:23:53,320 --> 01:23:56,600
Yeah, it, it was a pretty short
text, like like I was just like,

1689
01:23:56,840 --> 01:24:00,840
hey, like, you know, because in
advance, like I'm actually

1690
01:24:00,840 --> 01:24:04,440
signaling to you, I, I would
perhaps like to have sex.

1691
01:24:04,440 --> 01:24:06,680
With that's how I would have
taken it and I've been like,

1692
01:24:06,680 --> 01:24:10,280
great, let's get tested and grab
a pack of condoms and like go.

1693
01:24:10,320 --> 01:24:14,640
Do it now please.
Like I don't think it's weird to

1694
01:24:14,680 --> 01:24:17,640
not know that you don't have
chlamydia before I have sex

1695
01:24:17,640 --> 01:24:18,120
with.
You.

1696
01:24:18,120 --> 01:24:20,400
Yeah, that's not weird.
Wow.

1697
01:24:20,640 --> 01:24:22,560
But withholding sex?
Yes.

1698
01:24:22,600 --> 01:24:25,720
And it was the verbiage where I
was like, what is happening?

1699
01:24:25,880 --> 01:24:28,760
Sincerely, fuck that guy.
Except don't fuck that guy.

1700
01:24:29,360 --> 01:24:33,000
He does not deserve.
He does not deserve sex.

1701
01:24:33,560 --> 01:24:37,200
And now I'm suspicious that
there's, you know, something

1702
01:24:37,200 --> 01:24:38,560
that might turn up on those
tests.

1703
01:24:38,600 --> 01:24:41,480
Yeah, well cuz like what is
going on?

1704
01:24:41,680 --> 01:24:44,560
And the whole withholding sex to
gain something in return.

1705
01:24:44,920 --> 01:24:47,560
Like to what do you mean?
Like what does he think you're

1706
01:24:47,640 --> 01:24:48,640
gaining?
Manipulative.

1707
01:24:48,760 --> 01:24:52,320
Also 100% he's doing that.
Because wait, what?

1708
01:24:52,440 --> 01:24:56,600
Like just what is happening so.
He you owe him sex and if you

1709
01:24:56,600 --> 01:24:59,160
don't put out then you're
manipulating, Yes.

1710
01:24:59,560 --> 01:25:00,240
Fuck that.
Yeah.

1711
01:25:00,480 --> 01:25:02,680
So like, how could you ever have
a headache or something?

1712
01:25:02,680 --> 01:25:05,320
Like you clearly couldn't
because it would be viewed.

1713
01:25:05,320 --> 01:25:08,160
Oh no, you're withholding sex
that I'm rightfully owed.

1714
01:25:08,200 --> 01:25:09,360
Yes.
Wow.

1715
01:25:09,680 --> 01:25:13,240
The text does not end there.
Oh God, I've.

1716
01:25:13,240 --> 01:25:16,200
Dealt with sex being used as
leverage in a way to hurt me by

1717
01:25:16,200 --> 01:25:19,560
withholding it in a committed
exclusive relationship very

1718
01:25:19,560 --> 01:25:23,080
recently and I won't ever be
leveraged like that again.

1719
01:25:23,080 --> 01:25:26,320
Holy shit.
And I am like, this is the best

1720
01:25:26,320 --> 01:25:29,160
part.
If you're old fashioned that way

1721
01:25:29,160 --> 01:25:32,600
and need commitment first, like
I said, I can respect that.

1722
01:25:32,600 --> 01:25:36,160
I don't think you can, Sir.
No, there's no respect happening

1723
01:25:36,160 --> 01:25:39,240
in these texts at all.
But I don't have to agree with

1724
01:25:39,240 --> 01:25:41,640
it or suffer that in my life
again.

1725
01:25:41,640 --> 01:25:46,640
Suffer that in my life again.
OK, Sir, I feel like this string

1726
01:25:46,640 --> 01:25:49,360
of texts is not directed at my
lovely Claire.

1727
01:25:49,600 --> 01:25:52,520
It is directed at your ex.
But please don't bother her

1728
01:25:52,640 --> 01:25:54,440
either.
Please go to therapy and fucking

1729
01:25:54,440 --> 01:25:56,120
work that out and get through
it.

1730
01:25:56,120 --> 01:25:59,760
Yeah, because someone you've
been on two dates with does.

1731
01:25:59,880 --> 01:26:04,720
Oh, I'm sorry, one meet up and
one date does not owe you sex

1732
01:26:05,280 --> 01:26:09,000
and is not withholding it if she
chooses not to give it and

1733
01:26:09,000 --> 01:26:13,280
definitely is not manipulating
you or making you suffer for,

1734
01:26:13,520 --> 01:26:16,120
you know, insisting you wear a
condom unless and until you're

1735
01:26:16,120 --> 01:26:17,920
exclusive.
Fuck you.

1736
01:26:18,240 --> 01:26:22,520
That that's how I would read it
and and it continues so it.

1737
01:26:22,840 --> 01:26:24,720
Keeps going.
I can't believe this.

1738
01:26:25,200 --> 01:26:28,360
If an exclusive commitment is
your boundary, which I never

1739
01:26:28,360 --> 01:26:29,920
said.
That is not what you said.

1740
01:26:29,920 --> 01:26:33,440
No, and requisite of a
relationship which doesn't make

1741
01:26:33,440 --> 01:26:36,000
sense.
In order to be intimate, I think

1742
01:26:36,000 --> 01:26:38,000
we should best say goodbye.
Yeah, definitely.

1743
01:26:38,000 --> 01:26:39,960
Bye.
And I was like, peace out.

1744
01:26:39,960 --> 01:26:40,840
What?
Yeah.

1745
01:26:42,040 --> 01:26:46,240
And again, was willing at that
point to go have you know, I, I

1746
01:26:46,280 --> 01:26:48,760
just, I don't understand what
just happened.

1747
01:26:48,760 --> 01:26:52,760
Perhaps you misread my?
Text like what what is what is

1748
01:26:52,760 --> 01:26:55,720
happening?
And and I even said I'm super

1749
01:26:55,720 --> 01:26:58,840
sorry that happened to you.
What kind of shitty you came at

1750
01:26:58,840 --> 01:26:59,840
me like?
That.

1751
01:27:00,560 --> 01:27:04,480
Extremely shitty, yes.
Yes and that the response.

1752
01:27:04,520 --> 01:27:06,320
I appreciate you sharing ahead
of time.

1753
01:27:06,600 --> 01:27:09,600
I know for certain what I will
not put up with again.

1754
01:27:09,800 --> 01:27:14,880
Using sex as a carrot does not
work for me and I'm sorry if you

1755
01:27:14,880 --> 01:27:18,520
take offense.
That's not what you were doing.

1756
01:27:18,760 --> 01:27:22,040
OK, there was ever a moment for
this move, which I hate, but

1757
01:27:22,040 --> 01:27:23,560
this?
It's made for this moment.

1758
01:27:24,080 --> 01:27:27,520
It is where you go back.
You screenshot your text, circle

1759
01:27:27,520 --> 01:27:32,360
it in red and underline the
relevant clauses or words like

1760
01:27:32,520 --> 01:27:34,360
it's passive aggressive and
petty as shit.

1761
01:27:34,360 --> 01:27:35,680
But in this case, he fucking
deserves.

1762
01:27:35,680 --> 01:27:37,960
It but also kind of necessary.
Learn to read, buddy.

1763
01:27:37,960 --> 01:27:39,960
So I did just that.
You did.

1764
01:27:40,240 --> 01:27:42,880
I didn't underline but I I was
like.

1765
01:27:43,480 --> 01:27:45,800
I'm so proud, Proud of you.
I'm so proud of you.

1766
01:27:45,960 --> 01:27:48,960
But like, kind of in desperation
too, like.

1767
01:27:49,400 --> 01:27:52,360
A close reading except for.
At this point I think you have

1768
01:27:52,360 --> 01:27:55,240
all the information you need.
You know, and I knew that at my

1769
01:27:55,240 --> 01:27:57,480
core.
Yeah, but I get it.

1770
01:27:57,480 --> 01:27:59,760
Because you had hope, right?
You were hopeful.

1771
01:27:59,760 --> 01:28:03,200
So like from one end to the
other.

1772
01:28:03,200 --> 01:28:07,480
Yeah, I just like, wait, what?
Chocolate box man like.

1773
01:28:07,480 --> 01:28:09,440
Yeah, come on, come on, little
legs.

1774
01:28:09,440 --> 01:28:13,120
Yes.
Small stick, What's happening?

1775
01:28:13,160 --> 01:28:16,720
Come on, small stick.
And so he said.

1776
01:28:16,920 --> 01:28:19,000
You were saying I
misinterpreted.

1777
01:28:19,120 --> 01:28:22,240
Yeah, because you did.
Yes, Oh my God.

1778
01:28:22,680 --> 01:28:25,840
So it it went on and he said I'm
a literal person.

1779
01:28:26,000 --> 01:28:27,520
I'm going by exactly what I
read.

1780
01:28:27,520 --> 01:28:29,320
And I was like.
No, you didn't because you did

1781
01:28:29,320 --> 01:28:31,400
the opposite.
Yeah, you took you kind of

1782
01:28:31,400 --> 01:28:33,720
assume there.
Because that's what I was going

1783
01:28:33,720 --> 01:28:34,840
for.
Because you told me that, but

1784
01:28:34,840 --> 01:28:36,520
then you said things I didn't
say.

1785
01:28:37,520 --> 01:28:40,280
So I I just said look, could
could we have a quick chat?

1786
01:28:40,640 --> 01:28:42,960
Because I think text can be
weird.

1787
01:28:42,960 --> 01:28:44,320
It can be.
Tone is hard.

1788
01:28:44,320 --> 01:28:47,320
It's almost impossible sometimes
to read in a text.

1789
01:28:47,400 --> 01:28:49,360
Yes and obviously he was
elevated.

1790
01:28:49,360 --> 01:28:54,600
I was trying to be nice so he
sent me a little gift that said

1791
01:28:54,680 --> 01:28:59,200
you may proceed which didn't
love that fuck off.

1792
01:28:59,560 --> 01:29:01,960
And I said super.
Not in the mood for memes or

1793
01:29:01,960 --> 01:29:02,760
gifts.
Right.

1794
01:29:02,760 --> 01:29:05,040
Now, but we just love like a
simple yes or no.

1795
01:29:05,040 --> 01:29:07,680
Can we chat on the phone?
Yeah, so it was.

1796
01:29:07,920 --> 01:29:10,640
It was quiet and I called, went
straight to voicemail.

1797
01:29:10,880 --> 01:29:13,120
Oh fuck that guy.
And I was like.

1798
01:29:13,160 --> 01:29:14,600
Bye.
OK.

1799
01:29:15,040 --> 01:29:18,240
And so I sent him a little voice
note because I just, I didn't

1800
01:29:18,240 --> 01:29:21,400
want to text anymore.
Yeah, it was it was like too

1801
01:29:21,400 --> 01:29:24,280
many things.
And then he said, you may as

1802
01:29:24,280 --> 01:29:27,080
well have used bullet points.
What?

1803
01:29:27,200 --> 01:29:29,320
And I was like, I I'm bullet.
Points.

1804
01:29:29,320 --> 01:29:33,280
So lost.
So he cut it off OK, and that

1805
01:29:33,280 --> 01:29:34,880
was that.
I sent the little.

1806
01:29:34,880 --> 01:29:38,760
Great note at the end.
Then the next day I.

1807
01:29:39,040 --> 01:29:41,760
Don't know.
Yeah, yeah.

1808
01:29:42,240 --> 01:29:44,640
It kept going.
He said.

1809
01:29:44,640 --> 01:29:47,720
I do admit I'm one a bit
confused Nye.

1810
01:29:48,000 --> 01:29:50,200
I'm oh, I'm the one a bit
confused Nye.

1811
01:29:50,720 --> 01:29:53,920
I'm not sure what you were
planning, but getting tested I

1812
01:29:53,920 --> 01:29:55,480
thought was a requirement.
Yes, it.

1813
01:29:55,480 --> 01:29:58,560
Was yeah.
Would have to be done early this

1814
01:29:58,560 --> 01:30:00,440
week if you were planning for
the weekend.

1815
01:30:00,480 --> 01:30:06,080
And I was like, Oh my God, What?
What again is is happening?

1816
01:30:06,720 --> 01:30:08,880
I'm not sure if I heard that
wrong, but I don't live in your

1817
01:30:08,880 --> 01:30:10,440
head, so I've no idea what's
going on.

1818
01:30:11,200 --> 01:30:14,880
That was my point.
Yeah, the whole point.

1819
01:30:16,120 --> 01:30:17,960
I'm just doing highlights.
Not because there's so much.

1820
01:30:18,120 --> 01:30:22,080
You don't explicitly say condoms
either, but that's also part of

1821
01:30:22,080 --> 01:30:23,840
safe sex.
And I was like.

1822
01:30:23,880 --> 01:30:26,440
Yeah, that's, I mean that's, I
think that's implied when you

1823
01:30:26,440 --> 01:30:29,400
said we have to use protection
until we're exclusive.

1824
01:30:29,400 --> 01:30:33,760
I wasn't suggesting we use a
Smith's bag or like plastic.

1825
01:30:33,800 --> 01:30:35,800
Sack.
Or a zip lock bag.

1826
01:30:38,880 --> 01:30:41,240
I don't know.
I can't think.

1827
01:30:41,720 --> 01:30:44,400
Like like of another form of
protection that one might be

1828
01:30:44,400 --> 01:30:46,640
using to prevent the
transmission of sexually

1829
01:30:46,640 --> 01:30:49,800
transmitted disease.
Field like what I mean?

1830
01:30:49,960 --> 01:30:51,800
Does anyone actually use those?
I don't think so.

1831
01:30:51,800 --> 01:30:53,720
I don't think so either.
I never even be.

1832
01:30:53,720 --> 01:30:56,480
Purchased like I don't I don't
even know.

1833
01:30:56,960 --> 01:31:02,200
So yes, it just, it just, it
just got very weird and there's

1834
01:31:02,200 --> 01:31:04,320
just not enough time in the
earth to go through them all.

1835
01:31:04,720 --> 01:31:09,400
So this was Monday evening and I
just started Gray rocking

1836
01:31:09,400 --> 01:31:10,880
because I couldn't take it
anymore.

1837
01:31:10,960 --> 01:31:13,560
And again, don't even really
know why I was engaging.

1838
01:31:14,400 --> 01:31:17,320
And I said, you know, I just
really regret bringing this up.

1839
01:31:17,680 --> 01:31:20,560
And he, he was like, thank you
for regretting.

1840
01:31:20,560 --> 01:31:23,800
Like he thought it was like I'm
regretting upsetting you.

1841
01:31:23,840 --> 01:31:25,880
But oh God.
No, no, I'm regretting because

1842
01:31:25,880 --> 01:31:27,920
you are mental.
Yeah, you're insane.

1843
01:31:27,920 --> 01:31:29,920
Yeah.
And I mean look look at the

1844
01:31:29,920 --> 01:31:32,440
lengths and you can see my
responses are.

1845
01:31:32,520 --> 01:31:35,320
Like very short.
Yeah, just like, I don't know.

1846
01:31:35,320 --> 01:31:36,560
Yeah.
I think we're we're all done

1847
01:31:36,560 --> 01:31:38,560
here.
We're all done here until the

1848
01:31:38,560 --> 01:31:41,720
next day.
Oh my God, Claire.

1849
01:31:42,480 --> 01:31:46,800
And I was like, hi.
And he, he said hello.

1850
01:31:46,800 --> 01:31:51,600
And I, I was going to say, you
know, thank you for such a

1851
01:31:51,600 --> 01:31:53,480
lovely weekend.
I don't think we're a match,

1852
01:31:53,480 --> 01:31:55,480
which is why I reached out.
I don't know why I felt this

1853
01:31:55,480 --> 01:31:57,560
need to wrap it up.
I should have just left it.

1854
01:31:59,240 --> 01:32:04,760
So immediately it went to
another GIF of Lionel Richie

1855
01:32:04,760 --> 01:32:06,520
saying hello.
And I was like, oh, that's a

1856
01:32:06,520 --> 01:32:10,320
good song.
And he asked, did they have 80s

1857
01:32:10,320 --> 01:32:11,880
music in Ireland?
And.

1858
01:32:14,320 --> 01:32:16,800
And I said yes, it was also the
80s in Ireland.

1859
01:32:17,840 --> 01:32:22,400
I mean, not not to mention, but
like Ireland was closer to a lot

1860
01:32:22,400 --> 01:32:24,720
of like the Brit rock that was
coming out in the 80s.

1861
01:32:25,480 --> 01:32:29,000
Well, I mean, yes, so yeah, so
there was that.

1862
01:32:29,000 --> 01:32:32,240
And then he said I'm good, I'm
just watching Temptation Island.

1863
01:32:32,280 --> 01:32:35,000
And I said, oh, I thought you
didn't like real DT because he

1864
01:32:35,080 --> 01:32:37,160
he'd been as people can be
pretty.

1865
01:32:37,200 --> 01:32:41,920
Oh, you like the house?
You're so lowbrow, you know.

1866
01:32:42,520 --> 01:32:43,960
And I said, I thought you didn't
like it.

1867
01:32:43,960 --> 01:32:46,120
And he said, well, they aren't
super negative.

1868
01:32:46,360 --> 01:32:49,240
It's more upbeat with some
naughtiness and heartbreak.

1869
01:32:49,840 --> 01:32:57,320
And then also added those girls,
not women, those girls also have

1870
01:32:57,320 --> 01:33:00,600
their asses like, which might be
a small reason it's appealing.

1871
01:33:00,960 --> 01:33:06,120
Yeah, I like at that.
I was just like, OK, I was like,

1872
01:33:06,120 --> 01:33:09,240
well, I said lovely.
Far be it for me to get in the

1873
01:33:09,240 --> 01:33:12,200
way of the objectification of 20
something asses.

1874
01:33:13,840 --> 01:33:15,960
I love you.
That's such a good one because.

1875
01:33:15,960 --> 01:33:17,840
I was just like, we don't need
to talk further.

1876
01:33:17,840 --> 01:33:19,520
Like you don't even need my
pleasant.

1877
01:33:19,520 --> 01:33:21,160
Goodbye, Tom.
We're all done.

1878
01:33:22,120 --> 01:33:25,000
And he said, oh geez, I think
some of them are in their 30s.

1879
01:33:25,480 --> 01:33:28,840
Oh, OK, Sir.
And so I sent a cuz he's very

1880
01:33:28,840 --> 01:33:31,080
giffy.
I sent a Clint Eastwood, one of

1881
01:33:31,080 --> 01:33:34,680
him like going oh, and he said,
are you going to tell me to get

1882
01:33:34,680 --> 01:33:37,360
off your lawn?
And I said I think so, yeah.

1883
01:33:37,800 --> 01:33:39,800
Good.
And he said, So you're still

1884
01:33:39,800 --> 01:33:41,680
grumpy then.
Oh, I.

1885
01:33:42,240 --> 01:33:46,320
Oh, I hate it.
This is one of those things that

1886
01:33:46,320 --> 01:33:48,920
men do to trivialize your
feelings, right?

1887
01:33:48,920 --> 01:33:53,480
They use super like kid coded
language, like you're pouty,

1888
01:33:53,520 --> 01:33:58,000
you're grumpy like this kind of
stuff in order to trivialize

1889
01:33:58,240 --> 01:34:02,960
your very legitimate feelings.
It sounds like you may have

1890
01:34:02,960 --> 01:34:06,160
experienced.
This maybe once or twice.

1891
01:34:06,160 --> 01:34:11,560
Yes, maybe once or twice.
Yeah, so I but also when was I

1892
01:34:11,560 --> 01:34:12,760
ever grumpy?
You weren't.

1893
01:34:13,040 --> 01:34:14,640
You weren't at all.
He was the grumpy one.

1894
01:34:14,640 --> 01:34:16,600
He's the one that fucking flew
off the handle.

1895
01:34:16,720 --> 01:34:19,200
Yeah, And when I actually sent
him a voice memo, I was like,

1896
01:34:19,320 --> 01:34:21,440
I'm really sad.
This is weird.

1897
01:34:21,440 --> 01:34:23,320
Like I had such a lovely time
with you.

1898
01:34:23,320 --> 01:34:24,560
Oh my God, I hate him.
Yeah.

1899
01:34:24,680 --> 01:34:27,520
So I was like, wait, what?
I was never grumpy.

1900
01:34:27,720 --> 01:34:30,080
So he said OK, and then I got a
list.

1901
01:34:30,440 --> 01:34:33,560
Oh no.
And I tried to diffuse, I tried

1902
01:34:33,560 --> 01:34:34,920
to I'm like.
No, he didn't, but.

1903
01:34:35,000 --> 01:34:37,960
Also, we were never fighting.
I just said I like to use

1904
01:34:37,960 --> 01:34:39,280
condoms and get.
Tested.

1905
01:34:39,320 --> 01:34:41,160
Well, he was fighting.
Yeah, you weren't.

1906
01:34:41,160 --> 01:34:43,080
But he was.
Yeah, exactly.

1907
01:34:43,080 --> 01:34:45,400
Yeah, he was fighting with his
ex, who doesn't speak to him

1908
01:34:45,400 --> 01:34:47,560
anymore.
Yes, just with you as a proxy.

1909
01:34:48,440 --> 01:34:50,800
100% proxy.
Punching bag.

1910
01:34:50,920 --> 01:34:52,840
I think it's clear.
It's very clear.

1911
01:34:53,160 --> 01:34:57,240
Very clear, yeah.
So I just said I had a fab day

1912
01:34:57,240 --> 01:35:00,920
with you on Saturday and really
like to, but I feel like I've

1913
01:35:00,920 --> 01:35:03,080
been speaking to a different
person since Sunday.

1914
01:35:03,840 --> 01:35:07,440
And I said there's there's more
I could say based on just all of

1915
01:35:07,440 --> 01:35:11,040
this and what feels like a lot
of poking and argumentation, but

1916
01:35:11,040 --> 01:35:14,920
maybe just best to park it in a
good spot and say, I just don't

1917
01:35:14,920 --> 01:35:16,840
think we're compatible in many
ways.

1918
01:35:16,840 --> 01:35:20,080
And I truly wish you well.
That is so much more gracious

1919
01:35:20,080 --> 01:35:22,120
than he deserved.
Lovely.

1920
01:35:22,480 --> 01:35:26,680
I just like because initially.
I was like, it's like, you know,

1921
01:35:26,680 --> 01:35:28,920
like it's not worth it.
Just be the bigger person.

1922
01:35:28,920 --> 01:35:30,040
Move on.
Which you were.

1923
01:35:30,040 --> 01:35:32,120
That's beautiful.
That's a great ending message.

1924
01:35:33,320 --> 01:35:35,160
What?
Followed a wall of text.

1925
01:35:35,160 --> 01:35:36,960
That was bitchy.
Yeah.

1926
01:35:37,200 --> 01:35:38,040
So remember that.
I'm sorry.

1927
01:35:38,040 --> 01:35:42,680
Did he get grumpy after that?
He was grumpy, so you know that

1928
01:35:42,680 --> 01:35:44,680
maybe we should say goodbye text
on Sunday.

1929
01:35:44,680 --> 01:35:47,000
Apparently he was breaking up
with me, but I didn't know it,

1930
01:35:47,320 --> 01:35:50,920
so he said I said this on Sunday
and you were not OK with it.

1931
01:35:51,040 --> 01:35:53,520
Wait, what?
Yeah, which I never said that.

1932
01:35:53,760 --> 01:35:56,840
You can't.
You can't fire me.

1933
01:35:56,840 --> 01:36:00,880
I quit.
I broke up with you first.

1934
01:36:01,160 --> 01:36:03,200
Are we in middle school?
Apparently we're in middle

1935
01:36:03,200 --> 01:36:04,720
school.
Or real.

1936
01:36:04,720 --> 01:36:08,400
I was just like Oh my God, I
don't think you liked my

1937
01:36:08,440 --> 01:36:12,840
response and since then all I've
done is protect myself from your

1938
01:36:12,840 --> 01:36:14,920
hailstorm.
What the fuck?

1939
01:36:14,920 --> 01:36:17,520
Yes.
Oh, he had a whole fight with

1940
01:36:17,520 --> 01:36:18,840
you in his head.
I said.

1941
01:36:18,840 --> 01:36:20,440
It didn't actually happen,
didn't he?

1942
01:36:20,480 --> 01:36:22,440
I am.
So confused, Melissa.

1943
01:36:22,440 --> 01:36:25,920
I bet he was in the shower, like
thinking of zingers to like, say

1944
01:36:25,920 --> 01:36:28,520
to the show her.
Yeah, the imaginary things that

1945
01:36:28,520 --> 01:36:31,000
you said to him that he totally
made-up in his head.

1946
01:36:31,320 --> 01:36:35,000
Like I I never felt mean to this
man.

1947
01:36:35,000 --> 01:36:37,440
No, you weren't.
And like, I friends, listeners,

1948
01:36:37,440 --> 01:36:38,800
I saw, like the whole
interaction.

1949
01:36:38,800 --> 01:36:41,880
Claire is not misrepresenting
how she, like, interacted with

1950
01:36:41,880 --> 01:36:43,160
him.
I saw the whole thing.

1951
01:36:43,160 --> 01:36:44,320
There was nothing.
Yeah.

1952
01:36:44,360 --> 01:36:47,280
Like, you were perfectly kind
and gracious at all.

1953
01:36:47,560 --> 01:36:48,960
Yeah.
No, I saw it all.

1954
01:36:49,160 --> 01:36:50,240
Yeah.
Yeah.

1955
01:36:51,320 --> 01:36:52,920
Fucking weirdo.
Listen.

1956
01:36:53,120 --> 01:36:54,720
No.
This is so listen.

1957
01:36:54,800 --> 01:36:57,800
Oh my.
God, I'm sorry listeners, this

1958
01:36:57,800 --> 01:37:02,000
is a long episode.
But listen, I feel good about

1959
01:37:02,000 --> 01:37:04,240
how I responded.
To you.

1960
01:37:04,480 --> 01:37:08,520
I've shown our conversation to
two separate female friends who

1961
01:37:08,560 --> 01:37:12,440
always in capitals call me on my
ship when I'm in the wrong with

1962
01:37:12,440 --> 01:37:14,840
people.
They don't take my side if I

1963
01:37:14,840 --> 01:37:18,240
mess up.
Their opinions were both done

1964
01:37:18,640 --> 01:37:22,600
separately and resigningly.
Now I don't know what that

1965
01:37:22,600 --> 01:37:26,440
means.
That means that he has made-up

1966
01:37:26,440 --> 01:37:31,280
two female friends and is using
them to validate his own

1967
01:37:31,280 --> 01:37:34,240
shittiness.
But resigningly like that

1968
01:37:34,560 --> 01:37:36,000
shouldn't appear in that
sentence.

1969
01:37:36,000 --> 01:37:38,560
It just, it doesn't make it.
But nothing has made sense.

1970
01:37:38,560 --> 01:37:42,640
This is like a work e-mail at
this point, True.

1971
01:37:43,560 --> 01:37:47,040
They basically said I need to
run away from you as quickly as

1972
01:37:47,040 --> 01:37:49,480
I.
Can Oh my God, great, please run

1973
01:37:49,480 --> 01:37:50,560
away.
OK.

1974
01:37:51,000 --> 01:37:54,040
You take your unresolved trauma
and you run with those little

1975
01:37:54,040 --> 01:37:58,560
lakes far, far away.
In packed in bikes this after

1976
01:37:58,560 --> 01:38:01,560
one date.
That was what I was thinking.

1977
01:38:01,560 --> 01:38:04,120
Yeah, that's what I was also
thinking when I read that.

1978
01:38:04,280 --> 01:38:07,440
Yeah.
So yes, my answer of saying

1979
01:38:07,520 --> 01:38:10,320
goodbye on Sunday was, I
believe, the right call.

1980
01:38:11,800 --> 01:38:15,960
I believe.
Especially after what followed.

1981
01:38:16,480 --> 01:38:21,280
I value my peace and if you
behave like this after one date,

1982
01:38:21,680 --> 01:38:24,600
Jesus Christ what would you do
in a major disagreement?

1983
01:38:24,640 --> 01:38:27,360
What the actual fuck?
What what happened?

1984
01:38:27,600 --> 01:38:30,440
I still.
I think we've already figured

1985
01:38:30,440 --> 01:38:32,520
out what happened.
This man has some major

1986
01:38:32,520 --> 01:38:36,600
unresolved issues that he needs
to get therapy for and he took

1987
01:38:36,600 --> 01:38:39,760
it out on you when you said
something very reasonable.

1988
01:38:40,000 --> 01:38:44,280
And also come on like I broke up
with you first like I have

1989
01:38:44,280 --> 01:38:46,840
female friends that counter
signed my opinion.

1990
01:38:47,080 --> 01:38:49,520
Said you're a pitch.
Like, no, no, you didn't.

1991
01:38:49,680 --> 01:38:51,040
Yeah.
Yeah, that's gonna happen.

1992
01:38:51,040 --> 01:38:53,480
I will take things that never
happened for 200, Alex.

1993
01:38:53,480 --> 01:38:59,040
Yeah.
Bing Yeah, be safe out there and

1994
01:38:59,040 --> 01:39:02,360
happy adventures to you, Claire.
I don't need that in my life.

1995
01:39:02,600 --> 01:39:04,480
Wow.
Yeah, the end.

1996
01:39:04,920 --> 01:39:07,240
Fuck you.
Fuck you dude, fuck you.

1997
01:39:07,400 --> 01:39:11,920
Reply Yeah, don't do that.
Wow, what a piece of shit.

1998
01:39:12,160 --> 01:39:16,680
I just was like, OK, this is
this is the overarching thesis

1999
01:39:16,720 --> 01:39:17,960
of everything.
Yeah.

2000
01:39:18,800 --> 01:39:24,080
Why?
How how can things flip so fast

2001
01:39:24,800 --> 01:39:30,600
from being really pleasant to
like that and also the need to

2002
01:39:30,600 --> 01:39:37,440
get in, you know, like dude with
you, I I wouldn't date you, but

2003
01:39:37,440 --> 01:39:39,360
I might consider you as a be
your friend.

2004
01:39:39,520 --> 01:39:41,760
Yeah, I wouldn't date you.
That's why I super swiped your

2005
01:39:41,760 --> 01:39:44,200
profile.
I was the one that initiated all

2006
01:39:44,200 --> 01:39:47,480
the conversations.
I told you to give me your

2007
01:39:47,480 --> 01:39:49,320
number.
I told you when I was going to

2008
01:39:49,320 --> 01:39:51,480
call, I wanted to go out on a
date with you.

2009
01:39:51,480 --> 01:39:53,120
But you know what?
Actually, you're not up to my

2010
01:39:53,120 --> 01:39:55,760
standards to date because you
didn't respond for a day and a

2011
01:39:55,760 --> 01:39:57,280
half.
And like, I mean, he did read

2012
01:39:57,280 --> 01:39:59,920
that room correctly.
I was no longer interested after

2013
01:39:59,920 --> 01:40:02,320
the quote.
Intelligence test UN quote.

2014
01:40:02,560 --> 01:40:04,200
I don't know why.
I know, right?

2015
01:40:05,440 --> 01:40:08,000
Yeah, like you, you'd pass the
intellect test.

2016
01:40:08,520 --> 01:40:10,480
Whatever like.
What is happening?

2017
01:40:10,880 --> 01:40:14,200
I don't know what.
Like whatever happened to just

2018
01:40:14,200 --> 01:40:20,440
like a exchange or oh that that
made me feel weird.

2019
01:40:20,520 --> 01:40:23,480
Like should we chat about that?
Or, you know, I think I can

2020
01:40:23,480 --> 01:40:26,560
probably sum this up.
What I think is happening, I

2021
01:40:26,560 --> 01:40:30,680
think these men feel entitled to
female attention to a

2022
01:40:30,680 --> 01:40:34,600
relationship and to sex without
really bringing anything to the

2023
01:40:34,600 --> 01:40:36,680
table themselves.
And when they don't get those

2024
01:40:36,680 --> 01:40:40,800
things easily and immediately
from us, then they flip and they

2025
01:40:40,800 --> 01:40:44,080
get super angry.
Don't you think that's right?

2026
01:40:44,080 --> 01:40:46,280
I mean, I'm not saying all men,
but I'm saying these men that

2027
01:40:46,280 --> 01:40:51,200
we've talked about.
It seems to be the only kind of

2028
01:40:52,400 --> 01:40:54,240
through line.
Yeah, I think so.

2029
01:40:54,320 --> 01:40:58,560
You know, and like sometimes,
like personally for me and

2030
01:40:58,560 --> 01:41:04,000
again, like there, there's
different situations and you

2031
01:41:04,000 --> 01:41:06,480
know, I feel like if you're
texting somebody and they also

2032
01:41:06,480 --> 01:41:11,200
get into that too quickly, it it
makes me go, oh, like I'd maybe

2033
01:41:11,200 --> 01:41:13,960
rather do things in real life
1st and then talk about them

2034
01:41:13,960 --> 01:41:17,840
after rather, you know, and I
don't know if part of that is my

2035
01:41:19,920 --> 01:41:23,280
the walls I have up to dating
because I'm like, Oh, can you

2036
01:41:23,520 --> 01:41:26,640
like, I've sort of gone into a
different topic here, but it's

2037
01:41:26,640 --> 01:41:29,640
associated with then if you are
kind of like, I don't, I don't

2038
01:41:29,640 --> 01:41:32,400
really want to do that.
You get that anger back.

2039
01:41:32,960 --> 01:41:34,960
Well, well, why else are you on
here?

2040
01:41:34,960 --> 01:41:37,800
And it's like just to meet a
person that will give me a hug

2041
01:41:38,000 --> 01:41:40,040
like.
You're withholding sex.

2042
01:41:40,640 --> 01:41:43,920
It's like I have.
Which I I'm clearly entitled to

2043
01:41:44,520 --> 01:41:47,920
after one date.
What is happening?

2044
01:41:48,040 --> 01:41:49,720
Now I feel like that gift was
love bombing.

2045
01:41:50,640 --> 01:41:54,320
You know, it made it weird.
Yeah, it made it weird.

2046
01:41:54,320 --> 01:41:56,400
Yeah.
Because I'm like, that was so

2047
01:41:56,400 --> 01:41:59,040
lovely and I'm trying to keep it
as a lovely gesture.

2048
01:41:59,040 --> 01:42:01,920
But interestingly, when he give
it to me, he kept saying there's

2049
01:42:01,920 --> 01:42:05,000
no strings attached to this.
Like, even if I never see you

2050
01:42:05,000 --> 01:42:07,040
again, there's no strings.
Attached.

2051
01:42:07,320 --> 01:42:08,800
Oh great.
I didn't think there were until

2052
01:42:08,800 --> 01:42:11,600
you said that.
Never that I never that didn't

2053
01:42:11,600 --> 01:42:13,720
enter my head.
I was actually overwhelmed with

2054
01:42:13,720 --> 01:42:15,680
your kindness or what I
perceived.

2055
01:42:16,000 --> 01:42:17,840
Yeah.
But I just what?

2056
01:42:18,200 --> 01:42:23,280
Why is everybody so angry?
This is as I say, I'm growing.

2057
01:42:24,000 --> 01:42:26,600
Yeah, well, I mean, you have a
right to be angry.

2058
01:42:26,600 --> 01:42:28,520
I'm super angry on your behalf,
actually.

2059
01:42:28,520 --> 01:42:30,840
It's just weird.
Yeah, but I think that's it.

2060
01:42:30,840 --> 01:42:32,440
I think it's a sense of
entitlement.

2061
01:42:32,440 --> 01:42:35,040
Frustrated entitlement because
they're not getting what they

2062
01:42:35,040 --> 01:42:38,400
think the universe owes them.
Like, look, Claire doesn't owe

2063
01:42:38,400 --> 01:42:40,160
you sex.
The universe owes you nothing.

2064
01:42:40,160 --> 01:42:45,320
So like fucking go to therapy
and like stop inflicting

2065
01:42:45,320 --> 01:42:48,440
yourself on women until you can
like be a good person and.

2066
01:42:48,720 --> 01:42:51,920
And also stop testing women.
Yes, stop testing women.

2067
01:42:51,920 --> 01:42:53,760
Intellectual into.
I can't even.

2068
01:42:53,760 --> 01:42:55,520
Say intellectual quote, UN
quote.

2069
01:42:55,520 --> 01:43:01,160
I clearly not pass but like or
political positions or assumed.

2070
01:43:01,160 --> 01:43:02,800
It's the level of assumption
too.

2071
01:43:02,800 --> 01:43:04,880
Well, that's the.
Thing yeah, and if the political

2072
01:43:04,880 --> 01:43:07,840
is a deal breaker, which it can
be, just ask, right?

2073
01:43:08,480 --> 01:43:11,040
You don't need to fish in that
weird testy way and then send me

2074
01:43:11,040 --> 01:43:15,800
like a whole wall of like pre
written copy paste text.

2075
01:43:16,320 --> 01:43:20,880
Yeah, so weird conflate an
assumption like just can we all

2076
01:43:20,880 --> 01:43:22,160
take a collective?
Breath.

2077
01:43:22,560 --> 01:43:26,600
I mean, gosh, I hope.
That was long.

2078
01:43:26,600 --> 01:43:28,440
That was long.
That was really long.

2079
01:43:28,520 --> 01:43:30,320
Sorry friends.
This is going to be our longest

2080
01:43:30,320 --> 01:43:33,000
episode yet.
But you know what, hopefully you

2081
01:43:33,000 --> 01:43:37,080
stuck with us until the end.
If you did, good job.

2082
01:43:37,760 --> 01:43:41,760
So we'll sign off now.
If you like what we do, please

2083
01:43:41,760 --> 01:43:44,560
consider following us on Apple
podcast or Spotify.

2084
01:43:44,560 --> 01:43:46,520
Just takes a second to hit that
follow button.

2085
01:43:46,800 --> 01:43:49,800
Please consider giving us a five
star rating, a review or a

2086
01:43:49,800 --> 01:43:52,440
comment if you have stories
similar to ours that you would

2087
01:43:52,440 --> 01:43:54,480
like to share.
Yes, please write in.

2088
01:43:54,480 --> 01:43:57,200
We would love to hear from you.
We would love to hear your

2089
01:43:57,200 --> 01:44:02,040
stories so we felt less alone in
this cold, barren, isolated

2090
01:44:02,080 --> 01:44:03,480
world.
I mean, the good thing about

2091
01:44:03,480 --> 01:44:05,520
this podcast, Claire, is at
least we can share our own

2092
01:44:05,520 --> 01:44:07,840
stories with each other and be
like, OK, I'm not crazy.

2093
01:44:07,840 --> 01:44:10,560
Like this is a theme.
Yeah, like read my phone.

2094
01:44:10,560 --> 01:44:12,920
Did this happen?
Yeah, no, I read that whole text

2095
01:44:12,920 --> 01:44:16,320
exchange and like that was
unhinged because you feel crazy

2096
01:44:16,320 --> 01:44:17,880
sometimes.
Yeah, you're like, what?

2097
01:44:18,320 --> 01:44:21,200
No, because he's like doing this
weird Darva wee gas lady thing,

2098
01:44:21,200 --> 01:44:22,440
right?
Like you're the problem when

2099
01:44:22,440 --> 01:44:23,800
he's the one that flew off the
handle.

2100
01:44:23,920 --> 01:44:24,960
It's just.
Wow.

2101
01:44:25,320 --> 01:44:27,880
Yeah, wow, wow.
Once again, I feel like we end a

2102
01:44:27,880 --> 01:44:29,920
lot of our episodes with.
Wow.

2103
01:44:33,040 --> 01:44:36,840
Well, you know, if it helps
anybody else out there feel less

2104
01:44:36,840 --> 01:44:39,680
alone, it's all worth.
It it's worth it, All right For

2105
01:44:39,680 --> 01:44:42,040
listening.
Thanks for listening, Our salty

2106
01:44:42,040 --> 01:44:43,440
ho, salty Bros.
We love you.

2107
01:44:43,440 --> 01:44:46,000
Take care.
We'll come at you next time.

2108
01:44:46,160 --> 01:44:47,440
We will.
We'll see you soon.

2109
01:44:47,480 --> 01:44:48,360
OK, Bye.