Douchebags, Dumbasses, and Drunks

0:23 Hello and welcome back everyone. I'm Mel and I'm Claire, and together we are the Salty O's. Welcome back to another amazing episode of our podcast. Claire, I was going to ask how you are, but I actually saw you very, very recently at a coffee shop. Hours ago, in fact. Just hours ago. But yeah, I think we need to share the coffee shop experience for the benefit of our lovely listeners. Yeah, we could do that. So we had planned to meet at a certain coffee shop and I pulled in. I was looking for parking, kind of cursing the construction that's going on near your house. Yes. And pulled in and as I'm walking to the coffee shop, I get a text from my lovely Claire saying that there's like 100 people here at Loki.

1:12 And I was like, Loki, that's not where we're meeting today. Can I also just point out that the coffee shop that Melissa Ralla, very kindly, because she knows who I am, and in a text yesterday said let's just keep it simple and we'll meet at this coffee shop. And I was like, yeah, oh, that sounds great. This coffee shop is about 200 yards from my house. Right, that's why I picked it. That is why you picked very kindly because you're like, I'll make it easy. Because she may actually be on time. Because I am that person. And I got into my car and drove to another coffee shop and I was so pride because I was on time. You were on time.

1:53 You beat me there. It was just the wrong coffee shop. Oh my God, I am. So. Grateful for your patience with me and that you still love me even though I am a complete Ding Dong. No, you're not a complete Ding Dong, you just have, well, I'm trying to help you out here. You just have 8,000,000 things rattling around in your poor head at all times. This is fair, but I still very much appreciate your grief because. Yeah, I just laughed. I got that text and I just laughed. I was like, of course she's a lucky. I was just, I was trying to stop myself from going into a deep shame Sparrow like I am. I like this. Like I think that about five times every day. I'm like, why?

2:34 Like I really try, but it just doesn't often work. Well, to be fair, we've met at Loki before, so it doesn't make sense that you would that would occur to you. And honestly, it has the best coffee in olive salty. Oh, Loki's amazing coffee is perfection. Shout out to Loki. Yeah. And honestly, the only reason I didn't suggest it yesterday when we made this plan was simply because the seating there is kind of. Oh yeah, tough, because it is just packed. Yeah, like all the time. Secret's out, yeah. Secret's out. Loki is the best. Yeah. So it's kind of hard to, like, sit down and spread out and, like, have a little conference, right. Or be guaranteed you can get a wee seat. Period. Exactly. Yes. Yeah. Well, anyway, again I appreciate you. You are great. But I I very speedily.

3:15 Returned and it worked out fine. Yeah, absolutely. Yes, it was wonderful. We had a lovely little chat and coffee and we thought that like today, we could share a few more dating stories, some of the amazing man that we have met up with. Well, we we told like our good stories, our success stories, kind of. I mean, mine wasn't a success story, but it. Started off good, that's true I guess, as did mine and they both deteriorated but there was brief moments of. Joy, yes, for you. These. Yeah, that's true. You didn't even get to a joy moment. No, not joy. Just like, oh, this isn't so bad. Right. Sometimes that is just the metric, you know, if like our married friends will say, oh, you did. I'm so excited.

4:02 I hope it goes well. And I'm like, I'm just hoping that it will be OK. Yeah. Well, I mean, I think we should talk about how low the bar can actually be. So I'm going to let you start. Why don't you share a story, A dating story? Well, so I actually, this one's terrible. I can't even remember this man's name because I think I have blocked it. That's completely fair. My Bri and we. Could give him a pseudonym. Yeah, let's make one up for him. OK. We could call him. We normally are are good with these names. Let's call him Honeypot. Honeypot. I love that. Oh my God, that's so funny. It's a double entendre because he he he bought me a jar of honey as a diet gift.

4:45 Wow. Uh huh. And also he's, we are analogizing him to a porta potty. We absolutely are wonderful. So I'm very excited. Maybe that was like, some foreshadowing, like the honey on the diet. Yeah. Well, we already said it wasn't going to go Well, Yes. I don't think we're spoiling anything for our listeners right now. Yeah, it was interesting. And he drove a couple 100 miles for this diet. What? Yes. Yeah. So he lived in southern Utah, and we met in an app, and he was like, oh, I'll drive to Salt Lake no problem. And that felt a little weird, but also like I didn't want to drive there either. So, you know, it just was what it was. But.

5:30 I mean, to be fair, I could imagine that one's dating options in southern Utah might be even more constricted, shall we say, than they are here in Salt Lake City. So indeed, you know what? I'm going to give him that. Yes. And he tried. He did travel for work often. I think that involves a lot of driving, like to Vegas and then up to Salt Lake and Idaho. So you know, we tried to sync it with some. Stuff. Oh, OK. Well, there you go. So it's fine. Not a big deal. That's yeah. At maximum a four hour drive. Yeah, not too bad. So he's fine. Yeah, our European listeners are probably horrified by their life right now. Why 4 hour? Drive would be in another country, yeah. We have to work for it here in the Wild West, yeah. Yes, yes, yeah, it's big out here, y'all. It's very big.

6:19 Well, some things are big, but yes, so So I did my due diligence. We had several video calls to check that he was real, All the security checks, Googled all the stuff. So we went on a diet. I arrived, he had the the gift. It was honey and plant. Food, yeah, not together, but like had you talked about plant maintenance? Is that where that came from? I just love that. Bush maintenance. I just got waxed. I did. Sorry, Did I out you? I just had some Bush maintenance just this morning. So shout out to Lindsay.

7:03 Thanks, Lindsay. Thank you. Yes, so we had had a video call and he saw a plant in the background. So he, I think maybe I mentioned that I like plants or, you know, I have a lot of plants. All right, so he was trying. It might be a little clumsy, but he was trying to be thoughtful. Yes, it was very sweet and actually I think that is the only first date I've had where someone presented with a gift. Yeah, I don't think I've had a first date where someone brought a gift. Yeah, it was. It was unusual. That is, yeah, unusual. Did it make you uncomfortable or did you like it? It made me feel a bit funny, but I don't know why. OK yeah yeah. But I'm a little weird and defensive when it comes to dating so. It could also be the we've had some experiences where men feel entitled to, shall we say, some physical affection if they've bought you coffee or a drink or something like that. So maybe you were worried about some obligation being created, and I think that would be a very natural reaction. That's fair, even if it's not entirely conscious. But I think sort of every woman, you know, I'm not. I don't want to speak for everybody, but I would also say every woman.

8:13 Has. Probably experienced like a small or large degree of that at some point. So. So yeah. So we had dinner. I was late. I really, I try so hard. I know that sounds so weak and ridiculous, but like, I promise I am not just sitting going, oh, maybe I'll go. I'm like, I'm going to do 402 things before I leave the house and I will be on time. So yeah, that tracks completely, yes, but I need to try to be better. In my defense that night though, the Uber did cancel, so I'm just a couple of minutes. That's not your fault. And honestly, a couple of minutes late, I mean within 5 or 10 minutes, to me that's still on time, right? Wasn't like 1/2 hour any.

8:55 Yeah, yeah. So we had a nice dinner and it was pleasant. Good. I didn't feel like immediate sparks, but I didn't have like immediate ICS. It was just. Pleasant. I mean, for you, that's huge not to get icked out right away. Yes. I have like a three second threshold. I'm like, no, yeah, it's awkward if it's a dinner date. My God. And then you have to sit there for like one to two more hour. I honestly try to avoid those for that reason. Yeah. Just like a short, yeah. Little coffee, tea, yeah, Keep it quick. Yeah, this was not quick cuz dude had driven. Yeah, several kind of Fair. You can see that. Yeah, so we at he, he had a a laser focus on carbs, shall we say.

9:40 But that's a whole other podcast episode. Yes. Not a fan. Not a fan of carbs? OK, we can come back to that. We can come back to that a lot. Of things to say about, Oh yes, eating and eating disorders and diets and so forth. And all the things. So we had dinner and the restaurant. I feel like all the restaurants in Salt Lake closed so early. And he was like, do you want to grab a drink? And I was like, oh, sure. So before all the bars on Main Street burned down, we so sad, so sad. We went into one of those and and then. It took a sharp turn. No, no. I was just like, what of all the things you could choose to talk about on a first date, why are we going here? Uh oh, where'd we go that we went? Joe Roganville.

10:28 Oh no. We went full manosphere. Oh no. Is that the manosphere? That's what they call it, yes. Red pilled. Oh my God. So here's the thing. If I was like to dinner and a conversation about vaccinations came up with you, I would have it because you were a scientist. Yes, you'd like you. You know some stuff in this. Area I Do I know how vaccines work. Yes, I teach about vaccines. You have a terminal degree? I do in this area, 3° in biology. Yes, I know a little. Yes. So I I would totally have that conversation and I would listen and be open to absolutely anything you would have to say in the subject. We could have a really good nuanced discussion on vaccines if you wanted a. 100% but somebody who is referencing Joe Rogan as their source, and I just said, oh, I thought you told me you studied business.

11:25 And he was like, oh, yeah. And I was like, wow, it's amazing that you know so much about vaccines. Oh my God, being. Heavily sarcastic Katie, Yeah, Which I bet he did not get. Oh, no, He was like, well, yeah. I mean, I listen to a lot of podcasts. I do my own research. Oh my God. Because, like, everybody's a sheep. Yeah, but he is not. Oh yeah, no, he's the only one that's awake. Him and all the rest of Joe Rogan's listeners. Exactly. But I feel like a lot of bar staff, shout out to you all, have like a sixth sense when they see horrendously it's happening. They must see it every day of the week. Oh my God, like all the time. So Gurley came over and accidentally gave me like 2 drinks, which is highly actually illegal in Utah and but one of them wasn't open so I yes, it wasn't.

12:14 And she's like just put it in your back. It was a little mini bottle of Prosecco. It was so cute. And I was like, oh, and she was just kind of like, she's like, where's your consolation? Prize. You're gonna need it. Oh my God. And so I mean it just descended from there like well I didn't get vaccinated and I'm super pride and you know, like I people shamed me and I was just like Oh dear God. But dude like went for like 2 full hours. Oh no, just monologue. Just monologue and you know that I do not drink. A lot. Not a lot, yeah. I'm like a lightweight 2, just like 3 is like a hard night out for me. I was on my 4th drink.

12:54 Oh, I actually love it, Claire, when you have 3 drinks because I feel like I get a million texts and they're amazing. Oh God, yeah. I did drunk text you from the airplane and very recently. Yeah, I loved it. It was wonderful. Well, you can do that anytime. Well, thank you and but he noted my drinks. Oh, he counted that. He counted them, yes. And he was derogatory about. It Yeah, yeah, He was just like a little. I notice you've had four drinks and I'm like, yeah, because you may also notice that I haven't opened my mouth for two solid Rs because I have got a manosphere monologue. It was literally a manosphere monologue. Oh, I'm so. Sorry, that's terrible. It was so joyful and then we left and he was like, do you want to come back to like, I think he was saying it like the DoubleTree in or something.

13:41 He was like, we could sit at the lobby. I was like, DoubleTree insurance don't have a lobby. They have a vending machine and a chair. An ice machine? Yes, we can sit in the glow of the ice machine, right? And continue this monologue. I have many more facts to share about vaccines. Oh God, with my business degree knowledge, oh. My God, yeah. So I was like, no, thank you. And yeah, I got an Uber and went home. So that was that. I mean, you really served your time. Kudos for staying that long I guess. I know. I don't know why I do that. Yeah, well, it can be awkward in the moment, but yeah, I don't know. Yeah, maybe something to practice.

14:22 Yes. Walking away just. Looking at my watch and being like I left the stove. On I must go. I mean, you can always text me for an emergency call if you need one. SOS. Yeah. Yeah, so that was my fun manosphere monologue date. Wow, yeah, good times. Sounds terrible. It wasn't. It wasn't fun. What about you? What? What are you? What stands out as a magical experience? Well, I'll tell you one that just stands out because I happened to run into this person this week. Oh yeah. Did you say hi? I did not. So let me tell you the whole story. OK, so this is a person, we are going to call him Hot Frosty.

15:07 And the reason we're calling him Hot Frosty is again, twofold. I love this meme number 1. He is good looking. Yes, I think he's a good looking guy. This is this is a good first step. Yeah, and #2 I'm not going to share his real name, but if I were to say his real name, everybody would be like, that's not real. That is the name of a Hallmark movie person. Like, you know, the Christmas movie. Yes, where the girl comes storm to her hometown. It's it's literally a Hallmark Christmas movie name. And it's his real name. Yeah. Good. Anyway, so Hot Frosty, I thought was Frosty. Very, very appropriate. Yeah. I love it. Yeah. So Hot Frosty and I matched over a year ago, over the holidays last year. We matched on an app and he was out of town, so we texted for like maybe a week or so before we we met up. And the text game was amazing.

15:59 The answer on point. Oh my. Goodness. Like it was smart, Refreshing. Yeah. Witty. It was fun. Hot, Frosty is a physician. Another one of those disappointing physicians. You have like a magnet. I do. Yeah, for for like the lawyer physician, like the the high profile lads. Yep. Uh huh. But whereas I have one for the entrepreneurs. Entrepreneurs the Homosexual the. Homosexual. I mean, I guess they've all kind of turned out similarly, but at least usually I get a coffee out of. It this is true, you're not paying. For it, Yeah. Anyway, so we did meet up for a coffee date once he was home. Yeah. Coffee date was fine. We went on a few dates.

16:40 Yeah, I can't remember how many, not many. Yeah, there was 3 maybe. Yeah, something like that. And I did at one point go back to his house. OK, Yeah. Except for that was in Eunice. In there. Yeah. Well, let's just say that it was somewhat disappointing. Oh no. OK. You have to share more about that. Well, I, I don't want to like go into all the details, but do you ever have those encounters where you're like, why am I doing all the fucking work here? Yeah, you're like, oh wow, this is very one sided. Right. Like I'm doing all the work for both of us. Oh, yes, yeah. Not fun. Not fun. No exhaustive tearing. Yeah. And then at some point you're like, I hope this is over quickly.

17:23 They're like please God what do we need to fake here for this to exactly. Sorry lads, but we're just speaking the truth. Yeah. I mean, be better and then we don't have to. Fake, right? Exactly. We don't like to. Fake. No, it's not fun thinking. It's not fun, but sometimes just to make a please God be over. Yeah. When they don't know what they're doing or they're unwilling to do it, yeah, they're just like, OK. Yeah, you're like we're done here. Yeah. Although I know so like kind of disappointing, but then the real, the real horror, and there's more the real, the real horror began. Oh dear God, when I went to use his bathroom. Oh my God. And so he lives in one of these like cute bungalows, right? So they're old.

18:06 I used to live in one in the avenues. And he like it's relevant because he had two somewhat young kids and they, I think all shared this bathroom. Yes, in this bathroom was a fucking biohazard. Oh, dear God, it was disgusting. Wow, disgusting. Claire. Oh. My God. It was. I mean there were multiple shit stains inside. The toilet? No, no, no, no, no. Oh yeah. Multiple Oh clearly. God, they had been there for a while. Oh, like, you know, the caked on dear character, the word I am complicating what? Yeah, multiple ring around the toilet, like the bright orange like ring, which is that's a fungus. That's a mold.

18:53 That's like, it's nasty. Weeks and two months. Yeah, neglect. Right? Like the little dry pea splatter all over the everything right? All over the toilet, I'm sure. You just felt so hot in that moment. Oh my God, I was like dry heaving in this in this bathroom. And the sink was no better. So like, you know, the little like nubs of the whiskers when they shaved. Yes, like all over the sink, all over the counter, like all over the floor, Right. Toothpaste, like dry, congealed toothpaste. Streaks everywhere. Oh my God, it was a horror. It was out of a horror movie. Wow. And so I'm trying to like pee without touching anything stabbing.

19:34 Like squatting out of the bowl, you know? The helicopter moves like you do a gross public toilet, right? And by the way, friends, if you do do that, please wipe the seat afterwards. Nobody wants to walk into like a freaking wetlands of your urine all over the seats. We get the squat, but tidy up after yourself. Right. Or like build the little toilet paper barrier. Right, we've all done that. Oh hell yes. Oh my God, I love how we bring the things we think only we do into the open. I think everybody does that. Yes. The little triangle. Yeah, exactly right. You like, grab yourself some toilet paper and construct a little arts and crafts project to protect your ass from this. Disgusting. This is a biologist, I know.

20:15 Like, you're probably not gonna get any diseases from a toilet seat, but it's just like the ick. Factor yes oh God yeah cuz you're like things have touched here yeah that I don't want touching on my. Skin, like, I don't want to sit in people's urine or like, whatever. Right? It's crazy. Yeah, I know. You're so picky. I know, right? Or if there's blood on the seat, you're like, well, it's helicopter time. Yes, yeah, yes. Hover, hover. We're doing an air drop here and all those like, Pilates movements, like engage your core strength, squat feet, toes pointing forward, go take a wide stance. Like who was that senator from Idaho that got busted in the bathroom? Do you? Oh my God.

20:57 Mary Craig, I think. Oh, wow. Oh yeah, no, he was taking a wide stance in the bathroom. Well, yeah, what he was doing was tapping the person next to him for like a gay hook up in the bathroom and then he was saying no, it was all just a big misunderstanding. Like I somehow accidentally I made the signal that I wanted gay sex. Wow, I do that all the time. It's such an accident like. Wow. Anyway, sorry that took like quite a turn. We love the tangents. Yeah, the tangents, they're great. Yeah. Anyway, so probably I left that bathroom cleaner than I found it. Oh my God, it was so nasty. Well, and I feel like, I mean, women are kind of conditioned to always like be small and leave no trace and like, you know, everything has to be all pretty and neat, whereas like, like you don't leave your shit stains in the toilet.

21:50 Bowl ever like. Just I don't know. Yeah, I mean, this was not like I skipped cleaning the bathroom this week. This is like I skipped cleaning the bathroom this year. Yeah, hasn't been done. And why on earth would you invite a woman back to your place knowing the horror show that is awaiting in your bathroom? Or if she was like, I'm going to use the bathroom, like grab a Clorox wipe or something, put bleach in the toilet, something. But like, do that before you have somebody over. Oh my God. Disgusting. Yeah. Like, if there's ever any chance that you think that could happen, be prepared. Right? I'm assuming that you know. He knows that a woman, we'll probably use the bathroom at some point, or that at least it's a possibility, right? My God.

22:34 Yeah. Anyway, so the reason I was thinking about this week was because I saw Mr. Hot. Frost. Oh my God. Sorry. Doctor Hot Frost, Doctor Hot Frost around town. Let's give him his full title. Well, let me tell you these circumstances surrounding that. No, as you know, it's been a week. It's been a wee week for you, my friend. It really has for a couple of reasons, but I will talk about just one of them. Yes, which is that on Wednesday I felt like I had a piece of glass stuck in my eye. That's never nice. No. And so I thought I had an eyelash up there or like maybe a piece of contact, although I wasn't missing any contacts or pieces of contact, but it felt like a foreign body. Yes. And thank goodness this happened on Wednesday and not Sunday when I was driving home from California. That would have been bad.

23:19 That would have been real bad. Yeah. Not fun to drive like a drunk with one eye open. No, it's not good. I felt like I had glass in my eye and when I put my contacts in it felt better. So I was like, oh, maybe there's like a stye or something on the inside of my eyelid, but I was looking. I couldn't see anything. I mean, granted, I was like, you know, not that the most visual acute period of my life, I don't know. But finally I went to the Instacare and the guy looked at it and he said it was a corneal ulcer. Oh. Yeah, that sounds not pleasant. No, not pleasant, but most of the time these heal up within about a week or so, so I just can't wear contacts. Which sucks because yeah, my adorable dog, you know, My little dog, you know.

24:06 And by little, I mean 80 lbs pure muscle. A long time ago, she chewed up my prescription glasses and it's been on my To Do List for literally years. So this is my like, brokenness, Yeah. That that's that's not a big brokenness. So you're OK, But I don't have glasses and I can't wear contacts, right. So I went to the Instacare and he's like, we'll just wear glasses. I'm like, I don't have them. Oops, yeah, oops is right. He's like, we'll just get some from the drug store. And I'm like, I can't. My prescription is too strong. Nobody carries them. Yeah. So I went to one of those places that says, you know, we do same day eyeglasses, right? So I called them. I sent them my prescription. Yeah. And they were like, yeah, we can't do it tonight.

24:49 But like, you could come down and, like, get, you know, it fitted in the whole thing, and then we can have them tomorrow. Yeah. I was like, OK, so I go down there, they're slammed. They're understaffed. I'm waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting for like over an hour. Oh. And so I'm not feeling good. I'm not feeling good. Right. Like I'm really light sensitive. It feels like there's glass in my eye. Like I have no makeup on. I can only see out of one eye. Yeah. I have like, dye streaked down my face. I realized later because they put, you know, dye in my eyes to see their injury. Uh huh. So I've got dye, like streaked down my face. And who should walk in. Oh, dear God. But Doctor Hot Frosty, you're like, I was like, Jesus fucking like, I haven't seen this guy for over a year, right? You haven't seen him since the bathroom incident? No, we did see each other since then I did not go to his house again, but like I'm.

25:36 Not going there. I'm afraid. But it's been well over a year and like things just kind of like fizzled out as they sometimes do with people, right? You just kind of the text frequency gets less and then at some point you just stop. So that was like kind of the resolution like nothing bad happened. Right. You didn't have any. Bad feeling. No, no, no, no. No. Bad feelings towards him. Yeah. But anyway, he walked in with one of his kids. Oh, pick up glasses. And I was like, Oh my God, this is not. Like this is not optimum. So I know I just, I saw him and I heard his name. Yeah. And. I was oh. God, so I just sort of pretended to be really, really engaged with my phone. I'm sure he saw me. He didn't say hi either. But I was like, I'm just going to pretend that Oh my God, I don't see him.

26:20 That's fair. But Claire, I was tempted to ask if he cleaned his bathroom since last. Year you're like, are you here with an infection from like some kind of an eye infection for like washing your face in your sink bathroom induced pink eye. Oh my God, Oh God, I know. I can only think of like the towels. Oh right, I know. I didn't want to touch. I was like wiping my hands on my clothes. Oh my God. Like I don't know when these have been washed, probably never. Oh, dear God, yeah. Wow. That is an interesting person to bump into. And I totally understand why you just looked at your phone. Yeah, we, we don't need to say hi to everybody. We don't, and especially when I can only see out of one eye.

27:01 Yeah, the other one is broken. You're just like putting like a pirate eye. Oh yeah, no. Oh my God. Wow. Yeah, good times. Mr. Hot Frosty. That is a classic name, though. It's a great name. It really is. Yeah. Like when you text me and you were like, I saw Hot Frosty. I was like it just, like, all flooded back, you know, you, you forget that you forgot. And then you're like, oh. Yes. Amazing. I love the nicknames we come up with. They're wonderful and I feel like that's a a pretty universal thing. Yeah, that the girlies come up with the names. Absolutely the lads.

27:44 Do you save them in your phone like that? Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. Yeah, I know. I think I I try to to burn them to memory, but I know that some good ones have been forgotten over. The years, all right. Well, no more, because now we have Olive, we have public record, yes. It is written in stone, so to speak. Yes. All right, well, Speaking of dating disasters, I I know because while I was on the road, I received a couple of voice memos from my lovely Claire about AI mean, I think disaster is not too strong a word. It, it really isn't. It was, it was like I just, you couldn't have predicted it. You couldn't have written it. It was just no.

28:27 Like, no. So why don't you take us through it? And I guess let's preface it with saying that this was a second date. It was, yes. So I thought I'd done at least some due diligence. Yeah, and from the first date he seemed normal. He seemed like too normal. Maybe that's another red flag I can add to my list. Well, you know me, I am in in recent years. I should have been more pecky previously, but my pendulum swung, shall we say, to completely the other side? Yes, which my therapist assured me was understandable, but the goal was to get it to the middle.

29:08 We're working on that. We're still working. It's a work. In progress. It's still a wee bit swung high and it maybe went up a couple of inches after this deal, yeah. Yeah. So as we know from the podcast, like I really don't do it very often and I will if I'm on an app, it's like 1 right for every probably 200 lefts and I'm not even joking. Yeah, or more. Yeah, I will. I will be like, I will pick like the most minor thing and be like and just go left. So this guy, we actually talked about him before. Oh yeah, he was the one that you matched with many times, many times, and then finally, yes, arranged a date. I mean, honestly, probably over the period of like a year, yeah. We were like back and forth matching. So that was the one where I was like, well, what is different? And he was like, let's go on a diet. So I show up to the first diet.

30:03 Yeah. Because I don't think we ever talked about that. It was on a Saturday afternoon, very low key, and I showed up. He was there, he was super well mannered. He like asked me which chair I would prefer to sit in like dine to that detail. Very nice, I like it when a man does that. Some good manners. Please like really good manners and I actually wanted his chair and he moved. Great. So that looks lovely. Yes. And that sounds like a Dick move on my part, but I just like to sit on the end. No, no, I don't think it's a Dick move if he asks you for a preference. A Dick move would have been walking in and being like, oh, hey, I prefer to be here. You move. Yeah, right. But he asked you and you sedation, right.

30:44 So that's. I love it. I love it when a man has manners. It was cute. It actually was like a green flag. Absolutely. Yeah. So it was nice. And we just had 1 1/2 drinks and some we nibbles and he was telling me about his night and he asked questions like amazing, amazing. Like you're just like what? Like you can ask questions. So it was very pleasant. And by the end of the day he said this was so fun. I would love to see you again. Could we do dinner next weekend? And again, you're like, huh? Demonstrative. I love that up front. We're not playing any weird games. Just saying I would love to see you again and trying to make a plan.

31:27 Yes, that's great. This all seems like a green flag. Right, because I I'm like, did I, was I delusional? Like what happened? Yeah, I don't. Think so because I talked to you right after that date and everything seemed pretty promising. It didn't seem like there were any red flags happening. And he talked about, like, getting together with friends that night. And we've mentioned that it's always a green flag when they seem to interact with other humans they have. Of friends, not just the Joe Rogan. Podcast yeah, my God. To keep you safe and warm at night yeah. So it it all seemed to be trending well. And I text him I think it was like the next day and was just like, oh, you know, I'm free Saturday if you want to grab dinner.

32:07 And he was like, great, let's do it. So should have been a red, red flag. So the following Saturday comes, it's like noon and he sends a text and says, I'm so sorry. I'm going to have to cancel dinner because I fell off my bike and I banged my head and I think I have my concussion. It kind of signed it like a little bit of a made-up story, if I'm honest. Yeah, I feel like that's one that could go either way. Yeah. You know, like, that could just be a whatever, a lie to get out of the date. But also one could imagine that that could be a real thing. I mean, a lot of people mountain bike in Salt Lake. I've had a lot of friends that have gotten concussions or broken collarbones or knock their teeth out mountain biking.

32:50 So, like, I wouldn't dismiss that story. I can necessarily. It could be accurate and he also lives in a well known on Utah mountain time, shall we say yes. And so, yeah, like your, your proximity to biking is very real. And yes, so but I remain skeptical. Oh, I do too, especially after the sequel. But I'm just saying that it it could be real. Yeah. Could be real, Yeah. I was 5050 on it when he told me that. Yeah. I was like, maybe, maybe not. I don't know, like let's give him the benefit of the doubt because the first date was pretty good, right? So it's more like wait and see if he comes up with a makeup plan etc etc.

33:31 Yeah, and he did, but not without a little prodding. OK. So I was mindful of that. So we did reschedule for the following Saturday. I wasn't like super planning on it. I was just like, right, if it happens, it doesn't. And I, I believe I text you that afternoon. It was a bad, I sound like I've been drinking. I believe that I text you that very afternoon and was like, oh, I don't like, I'd much rather be hanging out with you tonight and. You did, and I felt kind of bad because I encouraged you. I kind of hyped you up a little. I was like, no, you should go on the date. The first one was good. Like just see what happens. Like, give it a shot. That was the right thing. To do I formally apologize to you, my friend?

34:11 Oh girl. None of this was your fault, even close, but it was it was some good like foreshadowing because you were like, look, it's your favorite restaurant. At very least, just go enjoy a really good meal and a good drink. And and just that's that can be the good part. Of the night. And return and report, return and report. So that was my focus was on the good meal. And I am going to give a shout out to the restaurant. Yes, Arlo, we mentioned it before, we love Arlo. I love Arlo even more. Nigh I. Know you didn't think it was possible, but. I did not think it was possible because I love it and also their staff are amazing. Yeah, major shout out to my boy Darren, but we'll get more to him.

34:53 OK, we'll get to Darren. Big Darren fans here. We love you, Darren. So yeah. So I get to the restaurant, the diet is proceeding. He texts me. And he was like, I'm really early. And I was like, oh wow, eager, but like, I mean like 20 minutes. Yes, real early. Like I was just leaving the house. OK, all right. Not necessarily a red flag. No, I felt a little flustered though, because I was like, oh God, he's sitting there. And then I had to remind myself that no, we had a plan and I would be there when we. Said I'm not late. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I I was a little bit but. Probably like 5 minutes. So yeah, it was. That wasn't fine and.

35:35 Also, like I, yeah, it should have been 1/2 hour that night, but I got there. And if you've ever walked into Arlo, it's a beautiful building, has a lovely setup and, you know, little outdoor patio. And in their me and dining room, they actually have like this lovely little bar you can sit out where you overlook the kitchen. I love that. It's so cute. That's actually my favorite. I think we might have said this before, but if I'm just with one person, I would always rather sit at the bar. Yeah. It's just like a more interesting interactive experience. Yes. And then particularly if you have like that open chef's kitchen. That by far is my preference. 100% especially somewhere like that where it's also like fresh and you know, they're making the re bread and like, yeah, it's it's lovely. So when you go in and check in at the desk they have in the corner, it's AI would call it a station. It's a station where they make drinks. It's not a bar, it's a station.

36:30 Interesting yes. It's not supposed to be part of the experience. In fact, I think it's intentionally and sort of like another bit of the restaurant so that the focus is on the food and the cooking. And I get in and he's sitting there at the station. At the station, Not the bar, not the bar, OK, It's the station. And he was like, oh, hi. I thought we had sit here. And I was like, why? At the bar station, it seems kind of awkward. It's like. 4 foot long, yeah, it's a very small area and I was like, oh, I guess we're having a date with the barman tonight. Then it's a threesome. It's a threesome because there was. No way. He was not hearing every word of our Yeah, he's like right there. He was right there.

37:13 It's not like a big bar where like they're moving around. Like at most they're like getting a snippet of your conversation. No, we were like 3 feet. So from each other. It's like a three-way at this point. It's like a three-way. OK, perfect. I was like, OK, maybe he's into it. I don't. Know, but let's go. So it just felt awkward. Oh yeah, that's awkward right away. And he stood up to hug me and literally fell into me and give me like a really slobbery like cheek kiss. But it was not hot. It was not. So he didn't. It sounds like he was already, shall we say he'd been pre gaming. He had been pre gaming quite substantially, which was ironic given what was to unfold. Literally.

38:01 OK so little tip for all our salty Bros. I'm sure if you're a salty bro you know already, Don't show up drunk to a date. It's not hot. It's really not. Hot. Because you might not think you're being sloppy. You're being very sloppy. Yeah. It's not good. So he's sloppy from the jump. And can I point out that RT, it was at 6:30 PM, it was. It wasn't even like a late dinner at 9:30, it was 6. 30 I mean, even a late dinner at 9:30 if I mean maybe if you'd had a drink, fine, but like to already be tripping and like slobbering on you sloppy, yes. Yeah. Yeah. So back to the earlier point where maybe I should work on knowing when to leave.

38:45 Maybe I should have just stepped out at that moment. So the the conversation is weird, awkward. He asked me what kind of wine that I liked. He said I'm going to bring a bottle. And I was like, why are you doing that? Like I don't, but fine, you know. Okay. So I told him I love whites and bubbles and. But Reds are kind of bad for me. I get like a wee headache. And So what did he bring? A red? Yeah. But he was like, oh, but it's a very mild red. I was like, it's. So red Yeah, way to not listen. Yep. And then he goes on to tell me about how expensive it is and, oh, gross. And then he went on to tell me that he got it at this vineyard with his former partner, and it was a beautiful experience.

39:30 And I was like, well, that's an interesting story to lead with. Yeah. Yeah, but also, like you clearly said, not a red, please. Yeah. And he showed up with the red. He did indeed, which is really weird. And honestly, bringing a wine, a bottle of wine to a restaurant, that's not a like, a red flag to me. Like if you have a really special bottle, right. Like, and you want to pay the corkage, like, cool. Like, that's great. But like if you don't really have a plan or like a special bottle, I mean why not just drink with the restaurant has available, right? And, and you're sort of committed to like a full bottle of wine at that point, too. Sure, although between two people that's 2 1/2 glasses, which if one had not pregame substantially, would be a reasonable amount of alcohol. Like, that's not too weird, right? But given that he'd already had it sounds like several drinks in advance, then yeah, maybe the full bottle of wine wasn't the best choice and the best choice also. Actually, no, I do.

40:29 This is a little weird. I wouldn't do corkage if I were sitting at a bar station. Yeah. That's a little odd. Yes, it was. Everything was just. Odd. Yeah, really odd we were. Collecting oddities. Yeah, okay. Just like pin butterflies, right? Because you would think one of the perks of sitting in that proximity to the barman would be to be like, oh, tell me about this or what pairs well with this dish or. Yeah, or maybe like, why don't you make me a cocktail off the menu? Like I like bourbon and this or whatever you like. You know, that's kind of the perk of sitting at the bar station. Could be. Fun. Sounds really fun and I, you and I need to go do this together, yes? We need to return and sit with Darren at the bar.

41:13 Would you like to have a threesome with me and Darren? Well, a chaste threesome, not a sexual threesome. Yes, just sitting at the bar station. Yes, sorry, I was going the other direction. It would probably be an affirmative for both, but anyway, moving on. OK, sorry, Darren. Yes, so all. Right, so we have a full bottle of wine that you do not want and can't really. Drink without getting a headache, Noel. And I also have like, I'm feeling bad because I am like, this poor man is here to do a job and we are here and that's he, he's probably feeling like some kind of pressure that we're sitting there and dude kept asking stupid ass questions. Oh no, Trying to be like a connoisseur.

41:55 Trying to show off. Yes. And I'm like, stop talking to him. That's so not. He is working. Yeah. Like people are bringing him orders. Stop talking. There's one person here. Yeah. And so he puts on a wee blender to make a drink and he's like, I am so sorry for the noise. And I just said, oh, dude, we are in your space. Like you do not make all the the noise you need. And that's where I was like, Oh my God, this is so terrible. Like he's conscious of this because he's lovely and. Yeah, so uncomfortable. Yes, so I, I know somebody else who works there, a wonderful server. And I, I asked, I was like, oh, does he still work here? And he said he did. So they're just so lovely. They're this has happened to me there before as well when the server that I know is there and they're just like, here is a a gift from the kitchen and they bring you like a wee bread or they bought us this lovely chicory salad. And you're like, that's, that is literally so cute. Like, not a lot of restaurants.

42:53 Do that. Well, not in Utah. So, yeah, it's one of the few places in Utah that understands good service. It's very rare in this state. Yes, to send like a little treat from the kitchen. And it's just one of the reasons I love it. And so, you know, when you just want a little piece of everything on your fork because you're just like, like I, there are so many food chasms to be had at that place. Like the food is so fresh and good and yummy. So I'm like trying to get it. And dude, I thought he was being cute. He's literally like stabbing like fork wars. Wait, he's stabbing your fork with. Yes. Like I couldn't get the pieces on my fork. And I looked at him to be like expecting little smile or yeah, but no, there wasn't. He was just really intoxicated.

43:40 So I got like half a mouthful of the delightful chicory salad. Yeah. Wow. And he was just like eating like an animal. Oh my God. Yes. So at that point I am like, Oh my God, we're looking at the menu. The words weren't even like, penetrating my brain at that point. I was like, and he was like, let's just share stuff. And I was like, oh, we could maybe get our own meal. Put the fork down, Sir. Yes, and step away from the bar station. I want my own plate and preferably you to leave. So yes. So we order. I need to speed this up because I will take hours. No, no, no. We have time. You keep talking, my God.

44:21 There's just so much detail. So he orders two things from the menu himself for us to. Share I see. OK. So we orders. Oh, so again, he's not respecting your wishes? No, OK, he orders and you're like, OK, he orders the sea bass and the I struggle with how to say this in America. The risotto. Risotto. Yeah, yeah. Perfect that. It was like a nice mushroom risotto situation. Sounds. Delicious. I'm like, OK, I'm excited for the food. If I'm allowed to eat it. Right, beautiful presentation, like lovely and then Mr. Animal. Oh God, like. Oh my God, they brought us 2 little plates we're gonna serve from the dishes and he gets stuck in there and when I tell you there was food on his lap, there was food on the floor.

45:15 No. There were sauces up his arms. Oh, no, like up his arms. Oh. My God dude was trashed. He was trashed at this point. And you know how when your kids were toddlers and you would go out to eat and if they were trying to take something from a bowl, you'd secure the bowl so the bowl didn't end up on their lap or the floor? Yes, I had to secure the bowl. Oh. My God. It was a bite to be on the. Floor yeah, I mean, that literally took me back to eating with my son when he was little like little little when you do your best to like keep everything contained and then at the end of the meal you're like, here's a 50% tip for what you had to deal with I'm. So sorry, but you know I'm trying to teach this little human right how to use utensils exactly which you know.

46:00 And people are understanding, especially if you tip appropriately. 100% this is a grown ass man. Yes, who made the choice to get fucked up before coming on a date? Yep. Wow. So I'm mostly just trying to control the fall light at this point, and actually in hindsight I don't even know if I. Tasted the sea bass no. I got some rice or some risotto. I had a few grains of rights. Were you dying of mortification? Oh my God, just second hand embarrassment of being seen with this person. Like I felt like I had to apologize even though this was a second date. Yeah, I mean, of course you would feel that, right? Because it's not your fault, but it's also definitely not the server or the bartender's fault that like this man is making a toddler sized mess all over the restaurant floor. Of an area where you shouldn't even be eating. I know that's so weird.

46:52 Like I was just like, oh God, make it stop, stop. Like and you know, I'm thinking about what take out am I going to get on the way home at this point? That's right. Where's the nearest Taco Bell? Drive you because I'm like I'm starving like this is crazy and I was like so much for the hopes of a good meal and a nice drink. So this is happening. I'm just looking at him and at this point I'm like Oh yeah, this is this is done like discussed. There will be no third day like make it stop. Of course. So he, the barman had been so lovely on cork, the wine, like port us both like a very reasonable mind that you would be drinking with a meal. And so I'm, like, sipping my red wine, like, barely. Yeah.

47:36 Taking my ibuprofen in preparation, like, you know, water, lots of water. Dude is Downing the red wine, chugging. Yeah. And so, I mean, the barman had it set up all lovely where he was just going to top off the glasses. He lifts it from behind the station oars like to the brim 00. Yikes. Yeah, Yikes. It puts it back down and I'm like awesome Bar man immediately lifts the bottle to pour some in mind, but he's like got it upside down. It's like drips. Oh. My God yes. Yep. Wow. So he decides to go pee at this point, which is understandable because I'm sure his bladder is exploding. Because he saw the alcohol he drinks before the date and on the date.

48:24 So he goes to the bathroom and I just look at the barman and I he looks at me and I was like oh thank God he is noticing too. And I was just like what the fuck? And he was like Oh my God. I was like I'm not imagining this right? And he was like Oh my God, I'm so sorry. He was like is this a first date? And I was like a second and he was like, Oh my God. Like. And he said he had three drinks before I arrived. Yeah. And I wonder if you had more before? Right showed up yes, he he Uber dine from you know, he lived about 25 minutes away.

49:06 So and he had a little bag with him with like the wine and a water bottle. So filled with vodka, man, right? And so, yeah, he goes to the the restroom and I was just like, Oh my God. And I, I was like, I think we need to cut dude off. So I lifted his wine glass and poured some into my not because I wanted it, but just to slow his flow a little. Yeah, sequester it away from him. And honestly, at that point, I should have just went out the door and left. Yeah, again, we're learning. So hopefully there won't be a next time. So he comes back and he, you know, it's like time to pay for the food. And I am. I will offer to split 5050, but in that occasion, no.

49:50 No. Absolutely not. I had like 5 grains of rice. Yeah, and a tiny bit of wine you didn't want in the first place. That was a ball he brought, so I was like, yeah, I'm not gonna know. This dude was wearing half the. Food. The other half was on the floor at the bar station. And again, showed out to Mr. Darren, Who so masterfully swooped in multiple times with a cloth to just kind of like discreetly scoop it. Like we were at the scooping level. It wasn't just a wee bit. So he was clearing off this station where he had to perform his job. Darren, he's a real 1.

50:30 So Mr. Miles, like, yeah, I got it. I got it. I was like, yeah. You do. Yeah, you do. I'm not paying for that. Yeah, so weirdo website the card. And then he was like, you know, I, I would, I need to give you extra. And the barman was like, that's not necessary. Like you're fine with a tip here. And he's like, no, but like you let us stay here and I would just feel better about it and all this kind of stuff. And so he give him his Venmo And I said, Oh, I'd love to send you something too. And he, he said, oh, you don't have to. And I was like, well, I would like to you because you have, you know, this has made this tolerable. Yeah.

51:12 You've slightly saved the evening. Yes, I'm in a very nice move. He said, how about I just write my number, darn for you in case you need it. And I was like, yeah, so nice. And yeah, cuz I'm sure he didn't anticipate how this was going to wrap up at the end. So that was very sweet of him to do that. And so I'm just like, OK, thank God we're on the home straight. I'm going to go home. Yeah. Oh no then. Oh, no. Oh, no, There's more. There's more. As if this couldn't get any worse. Yeah, but it can. But it. Can so I just want to point out that Mister Manns, I mean, maybe this is my draw to entrepreneurs in scare quotes, but yes, he said. So I've something to tell you and you're probably never going to want to see me again.

51:59 You're like, no. I'm already there, man. Yeah, we're good. Don't worry about it. Solidify. Don't worry about it. Yes. Will change nothing. Nothing decision is made. Yeah. And I was like, oh really? Wow. This is not going to be a good story. So I he went or he went on to tell me that as of the start of next month that he would no longer be able to visit me in Salt Lake, but that I could come to him because he was starting a six month period of home detention. Oh my God. Yeah. He's starting house arrest. But yeah, but he was like, so he was like, but you can totally come see me.

52:40 Oh God, like, oh, wow. Like, you know, may I right. Oh God, I'd love to. You're clearly a catch. Like Oh my God. So Oh my God, I'm like, OK, are you going to have like little ankle bracelet? Like, and he was just so I mean, it's just ridiculous. The whole thing is ridiculous. Like I can go to work and stuff. But like, I mean, and he started going on, he's like the president of this country doesn't even have to serve any time. And I was like. Oh well, that's a different issue. That's true. But, you know, we can all take accountability for the things that we do too, Like, and the fact that he was already saying somebody like me doesn't deserve this kind of treatment, you know?

53:26 Why? Because you're a white male. Right who? Who lives in a in a posh time and is trying to present the illusion of wealth? So here is a question, why is he on a six month house arrest? So I don't believe that I got the, the true story on that kind. And I, I said, so may I ask why? You know, cuz you're like relevant question. What you know, was it some kind? Were you a hedge fund manager? Like what, what, what happened? So it turns like that Mister Mann had a DUI. Oh my God. For me personally, that is, that's just a, a line in the sand. That's a hard no pass.

54:11 No thank you, period. Just no. And he went on again to dismiss it and be like, I mean, I wasn't even driving, blah blah blah. And I'm like, wait, what? Yeah, I don't believe. You for a second either. Because you have a home detention like that would suggest something quite serious to me. Yeah, either something quite serious. Yeah. And or yes, it's not a first offense. Right. They don't give out six months, yes. Home detention, yes. On the. First of first minor DUI offense and not to say minor in the sense that this is a minor thing, right? It's not. It's a serious. Thing we should. Take it very seriously, but I just mean with no confounding fact yes, right, like you didn't hurt anyone. Yes, there were not children in the car like you know what I mean right.

54:55 So minors the wrong word. But maybe it's simple DUI yes, that's what I should say yes, that's that's not what you do for a simple first offense DUI. So something else going on there? And and like I say, for me personally, the the rage of hell actually starts in the pit of my stomach for that particular thing for many reasons where I'm just like, will I unleash right now or will I save it till later because fuck you. Like that's how I feel when I hear that. And that might mean and judgmental. I actually don't give a fuck because if you decide to do that, then you are an asshole and you should have all of the consequences.

55:36 But I'm going in attention getting elevated. I think that's fair because you are putting other people's lives at. You are, exactly. And that's key. And you know what? We all have phones with apps. Yeah, That will give you a ride home. Yeah. It's easy now. There's no excuse. You also have lakes and there are scooters, which you probably shouldn't. Do either. You shouldn't do that. You should not do that. For some, I have some personal experience, you're like, just get a Lyft, get an Uber. So I was like, OK, and so, but at this point as I'm asking questions, he's on his phone. So I'm like hi over here. So he's disengaged from the conversation. Yeah. And what they're doing ordering an Uber.

56:16 Well, I said are you watching a video? Cuz it looked like that level of engagement. But you know, at this point I'm trying to restrain myself from like, I don't know what like I just, I'm like pushing him off the bars. Yeah. I'm like, you are a raging asshole and I never want to see you again for so many reasons. So many reasons. So many reasons. So he goes, Oh no, my Uber is going to be here in 2 minutes. Perfect. And I was like, Oh my, it's concluding. All right, good night. And he lunged again, like trying to kiss you or something. And I was like. Yeah, no sharp head turn. Put my hand out and he goes, I love you, I. Love.

56:58 You, yes, and I just said no, you don't. No, you don't. You're drunk. You're drunk. Go. Home and I just sat up on my stool and I did not bid him a goodbye. I just like. He did not deserve one. No, he did not. And I was just like, what just happened? As you know, the grains of rice are still dropping off the edge of the station. And I was like, wow. And again, I look at Darren and I just, I'm like, wow, what the fuck was that? And he's like, wow.

57:40 And we just have no words for a moment. So yeah. So yeah, it was good. And I was just like, OK, I would like something to eat and I please. Yeah. And he was like, can I make you a drink that you could actually enjoy? And so, like I say, meet your shout out to that wonderful restaurant. Oh my God bless Darren's heart. Bless Aaron's heart, all their staff honesty because there was periodically people coming over to witness this shit show and honesty like that restaurant. I mean, aside from the food that I didn't initially get to eat, like just I was like, OK, like, you know, they were clearly looking out for me, aware that this man was not acting in a nice way. And it just, yeah, I'm just going to eat there all the time, but not on dates.

58:28 Yeah, maybe just you and me go. That's going to be a friend please from my on because I don't want it ruined. Yeah, that's fair. I don't want it ruined. But yeah, that was my wonderful tea and I came home and my my son is so cute. I don't I don't like talking by dating to my kids. Like a lot of times I wouldn't even tell them I'm going on a date, but they can tell because I'm kind of a hermit. So though by like, are you going on a date? No, I mean, yeah, no, they're like, but you. Brushed your hair like. And my son was like, oh, how was it, mom? He's like you're home really early. And I was like, you're like, yeah, there's a reason. Actually, there's a bunch of reasons. And so I shared the story with him and he was like, mom, he was so sweet. He's like, you deserve so much more. Like, I'm really sorry that happened. And you know what?

59:17 My first thought was what? This is great material for the podcast. I'd like, you know, it took the sting away a little because I didn't feel that upset. I was like, let's share this with the world, right? As you should, yes, Because I'm sure I'm not the only person to have had a deal like that. I've definitely had someone show up who had pregamed before. Yeah, that's happened. Not a good look, like I understand nerves and stuff, but maybe some breathing exercises or you know, other kind of nervous system regulation techniques? Like maybe don't down 3 drinks. Yeah that's unbelievable. It's not good. No, it's not good.

59:57 So then, you know, I was a little bit tipsy at that point because I'd had my little drink and like no food and I had ubered and I just rage texted an essay to this man and it wasn't sweet in any way good. I was like fuck you good. Fuck you for drinking and driving. Do not ever contact me again. You were sloppy. You dropped food, food that was like an Irish word there. And you know, you were just not supportive to the environment of the people that work there. And fuck you. Yeah, he was a major asshole. He was horrible to you and everyone around. Lengthy, lengthy text was sent.

1:00:39 That's great. Well done. And I have never heard from him since, thank God. Claire, I know. Do you want to know who liked me on Bumble the other day? Stop. No, it's him. Oh he's still looking for a home detention mate. Yes, Oh my God, I did see him on Bumble. Too. Can you believe? Yeah, he's in my like queue right now because we. Speak it. Part of me feels like you should like him back and we should fuck with him but honestly he's not worth it. Cuz he's gross. No, that's gross gross. So I'm not gross driving to his home detention site. I know he'd be like, so would you like to come to my house or my office between the hours of nine to one?

1:01:25 No, I do not. God. Like the audacity of actually, like, he fully believed that was a reasonable request. It's unbelievable. Like he fully believed that was OK. Yeah. Well, he was probably, like, how many drinks in at this point? Right. At least three cocktails, more than half of a bottle of wine. Oh, my God. In a very short space of time. Also, let's say, like, not spread out over 5 or 6 hours, but like, all concentrated, right? Yeah. So yeah, he was fucked up. And Mr. Mann did have some bruises on his arm. Because you know the the Bike Act a bike accident. He said that he was on an E bike with his groceries and it it happened. Because he's not allowed to drive. Is that why?

1:02:07 I think it could be that and or I mean he could have been riding his bike also under the influence or. He could have. Stumbled and fell and made it up. I believe nothing this man says. Yeah, many possibilities. Yeah. Gross. Wow. Yeah. Oh my God, what a story. It was, you know, just what an eventful evening. Yeah, yeah. Not in a good way. Nope. So yeah, the bars in hell, everybody. It really like that was the next level that I couldn't ever have anticipated. Yeah, cuz like you show up and you're like, maybe they're shorter, maybe they're there's going to be no chemistry, maybe this maybe, but you're never like maybe they're going to spill food. Everywhere sit in a really weird. Spot and then tell me about their home detention as they lunge at me and tell me they love me. I feel like that is just the cherry on the top that he said I love.

1:03:01 You and I have to point out that I think probably two to three times on the Oh my God, what was the line? He said something like you're a prize and IA 100% don't deserve you or you're way out of my you're 100% out of my. League. OK, well all of those are true statements. You are a prize. You are way out of his league and he does not deserve you nor any other woman. So he was speaking truth there. The dog on the street is out of his league. The feral cats are out of his league. Like he is not deserving of any company of any kind. I'm sorry. Like I'm just, oh, I just I'm so irritated by the arrogance, the nonchalant of like, I did a really shitty thing, but I'm ironically going to do the same thing I'm complaining about if people not taking accountability. Right.

1:03:56 Sounds like he's learned nothing. No. OK Sir, if you're listening, please be better. You need to go to therapy. Yes, you need to go to a A at a minimum, if not some sort of rehab. Stop drinking, please. Yes. And use your home detention to what's that? Unlimited therapy app. You can get better. Something like that. Yeah. Better help. Better something. Yeah, Something we'll do Yeah, please get a subscription. Please get help and go every day. Yeah. And take some accountability. Yeah. For your actions, yes. And be reflective about your relationship with alcohol, because it's not good. No, and let go of the idea of finding a home detention mate. Yeah, get off Bumble. Yes, and spend April to October reflecting. Yeah, and working on yourself.

1:04:41 Please God, Yeah, OK, Well, I mean. I think we know he won't, but no that would be Nope. Definitely the only path back to redemption. Yes, Yeah. So there you go. It was a treat. Wow. Yeah. I walked down the hill to Temple Square and sent you a very long voice memo. You. Did and a little cute selfie. Oh yeah, that's right. We'll post that on our Insta webs. The post Horrendous day glow. All right. Well, I think we should wrap this up, but just a couple things. Housekeeping items first. Number one big shout out again to Darren the bartender. You are a real 1. You're a real one. We're going to come back and have some couple drinks at Arlo definitely and relive the glory that was Claire's second date. And I'm going to have my own meal, dammit. I'm going to order the risotto.

1:05:33 I'm just kidding. And you're gonna cut the bowl and like, not let me have any. Scoops, but yeah, fend you off with my fork and then slobber on your face. And yeah, just shout out to Arlo too. Just what a lovely place. Yeah, go to Arlo, y'all. It's a great place that's deserving of your business. That's so good. Oh my God, the food is. It's divine. It is divine. All right, friends, we're going to wrap up. If you enjoyed this episode or any of our episodes, please consider giving us a five star rating on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Leave us a review, leave us some comments. And also, I would say if you have a horrible date story, feel free to send that in and we would be happy to read it, discuss it on our podcast.

1:06:18 And just know you're not alone in the horrendous world of dating indeed. Yes, beautiful. Well, have a great rest of your week. I'm going to go home and nurse this eye lay in a dark room until it feels better. And hopefully you will see no more men from the apps while you're seeking medical attention, hopefully I will. Not. Good times. What a wonderful time to be alive. Oh, it's magical. Beautiful. OK, friends, take care. We'll come. We'll be back at you next time. See you soon. Bye.